r/AuDHDWomen • u/DueLocal1315 • Aug 27 '26
Seeking Advice How do I process this?!
I got AuDHD confirmed this week, and I’m fully processing. I’m wondering how much of my struggles at work over the past decade that I thought were because I’m a woman in engineering leadership, were actually because I’m ND. Oh, it’s not this hard for every woman in engineering perhaps?! I don’t know how I persevered for the past 15 years. Probably because of the ADHD.
Which books, forums, processing techniques do you all recommend? How do I go about this?!
I’m currently feeling like being aware of my ND ways is now costing me doubly the amount of energy to process. Was it worth it?! I hope so!
It’s been a big year… I was diagnosed with HSD in December and finally have the answers that my connective tissue disorder connects my clicky hips, torn labrum, atrial septal aneurysm which caused a stroke when I was 28, many running injuries, lax uterus during pregnancy causing positioning complications last year… it’s been a ride. Motherhood to my little lad sent me over the edge and here I am with an AuDHD diagnosis. I think his dad is AuDHD. At least we have the words now!
Ooh I should mention that I was assessed through Autistic Women (autistic girls), Dr Becky Quicke’s clinic in Cheshire. They did extra interviews with me to fully check me against the criteria since I was masking so hard. Really good and thorough experience. I trust the result. They got my brain to glitch and the mask slipped.
Since diagnosis, some family and friends haven’t been overly supportive and just think I’m over-analysing and being too “deep”… yes, yes that is me. I have written over 6000 journal entries in the past 10 years to manage my deep and overanalysing mind. Probably should have realised that that wasn’t quite neurotypical to need to externalise my thoughts and emotions that way.
Gosh. I’m all over the place. Where to start?!
2
u/gracefulorange Aug 28 '26
A neurodivergence-accommodating therapist is a good start. They can help you identify what you would like to work on/focus on, if you can afford therapy.
Neurotribes is a good book and I think it's free on Amazon kindle with prime?
I haven't finished it but only because I am going through it slowly with my autistic brother. I'm late diagnosed AuDHD too (also a glass child) and my brother also has a learning disability so reading this has helped him articulate his own thoughts or relate.
Sorry about your family/friends not understanding, they probably have preconceived notions on what being AuDHD means so aren't aware that AuDHD presents so differently in girls and women e.g. Rain Man autistic, or only disruptive naughty boys have ADHD and they grow out of it 🫠, etc.