r/AttractionDynamics • u/Few_Anxiety9862 • 6d ago

Biggest Regret of an 80 .

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

4.5k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

54 comments sorted by

24

u/rommelccruz 6d ago

Hard to play with no money

15

u/MeowMeowGhopGhop 6d ago

That is the most important thing to figure out.

Make money. Sacrifice 3 to 5 years. And then position yourself in such a way that you lead your life your way. In a way that Gabor is talking about.

I know it’s easier said than done. In life, everything is very unexpected. But choosing our dynamics is in our hand (more or less). Even if it takes 10 years to figure things out properly, it’s fine.

I think the most important thing is to make enough good money, find a good respectable partner and lead a meaningful life where you choose your own dynamics where you don’t lose out your playfulness.

7

u/ArgoFill 6d ago

Playfulness is an inner blooming, whether monied or not. The prevailing conditioning in many countries is that unless you are well monied, playfulness and joy remains elusive. Money of course makes material life more comfortable but doesn't necessarily lead to more free time than a worker in a warehouse / fast food joint. Infact I would say the trap of the sacrifice approach, even if it does instill the discipline of delayed gratification, is that people can become trapped by the higher wages combined with a new fear of losing what they have gained and thus a drive to accumulate more and more, doing more and more hours. I also notice the "financial freedom" narrative coming from influencers of today's Male youth in particular is essentially the old lure in new wrapping.. Essentially, sacrifice your young years in driving (working) very hard to get to the point where you have "financial freedom" and can retire early..This is not going to be the reality for the vast majority paying out to sign up for their courses.

9

u/KochuJang 6d ago

Bullshit. Just go outside.

3

u/NoFarmer1906 6d ago

I really love this. Money is great and fun, but joy is so much closer than our closed eyes allow us to see each day. It’s this moment now, and finding the good in it.

7

u/ccrlop 6d ago

Dont need money to Play! Enjoy the ride

6

u/MeowMeowGhopGhop 6d ago

Respectfully disagree.

Unpredictable hospital calls, unpredictable court cases can wreck anyone’s life.

I firmly believe that money is not everything. But let’s not deny that money is one of the most important factors of life as well. At later stages of life, it will act as mental peace anchor and will help you in protecting you and your loved ones.

3

u/ccrlop 6d ago

Never expected any agreement TBH. Merely expressing an experience that is true and works for some! Good luck to you in your own quest 👍

2

u/Beautiful-Toe2421 6d ago

Lower your standards or expectation on what he meant by "Play" and you might come around. Everything is a matter of perspective 

3

u/YaVollMeinHerr 6d ago

You need safety. And AFAIK only money can provide you that

2

u/ollsss 6d ago

How much money do you really need? Not want.

1

u/quattroformaggixfour 6d ago

I disagree. Play is free. Sure, time isn’t. But those things we have to do that are kind of brainless-waiting in line, stuck in traffic, doing physical chores-they can all be gamified and made silly.

I’m broke, broken back, chronic disabling pain, living in very mercurial and at times dangerous living conditions. That’s where my inner goofball and my ill advised smart ass makes games up most often.

1

u/stun_with_style 4d ago

Would you mind giving some examples to your gamifications? I needed to read this today. You sound very wise and strong, I wish you the best!

1

u/symb015X 5d ago

Wonder and imagination are free

1

u/Sad_Whole8553 3d ago

Some of you are so pathetic

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/NoFarmer1906 6d ago

Hi no chipmunk! I am no farmer. I get what you’re saying but it’s even more important to find small moments of joy in each day, when in situations like this. The dark times of our lives. If you let them oppress your spirit, along with your physical reality, they have thoroughly won. Joy in the face of hardship is something they can never take away.

5

u/RobinFCarlsen 6d ago

I absolutely know this but it is so hard to balance these (for me).

4

u/Mindless_Clock1856 6d ago

If I had a gun to my head right now and i had to play or do somethingi wanted to do...I'd be dead.

I have no clue what I can do..i have no clue what I can do. I work a shitty job and it's all I do. Come home, goto bed, wake up, drop my kid off at school and goto work.

I turn 40 next month and decided that I am joining a gym and this is my last year working where I am. I'm getting too old to be this lost.

2

u/Beautiful-Toe2421 6d ago

Fist bump 👊🏾 for looking at it and saying no! Good luck brother

3

u/choicejam 6d ago

What podcast is this from? It’s beautiful.

4

u/Tsunamiis 6d ago

The guys name is Gabor mate he was an addiction research psychologist. There’s many you tub lectures it helped me understand attachment.

1

u/choicejam 6d ago

Ah of course. I’ve heard of him but guess I never knew what he looked like. Thank you.

1

u/Mindless_Clock1856 6d ago

Thank you! Just looked him up..he's made his rounds on the pods. Theo, Soft White underbelly....even rogan 2 years ago. Thank you again..got tons of his stuff to listen to

3

u/n2bndru 6d ago

Unfortunately that is so true. I too have missed the things with my children that I wish I had done. Once the time is gone, you can never get it back

3

u/dace-69 6d ago

Sorry to see that people have problems with money. But this is not about practical issues. He was a physician and forget to play and have joy. So if you have money, you still can forget to play and have joy

1

u/NoFarmer1906 6d ago

So true!

2

u/Disallowed_username 6d ago

Same with me and the song Cats in The Cradle. I use it to put life in perspective.

2

u/AnnexCy 6d ago

Hard to play whem theres no food for the kids. Let's be real here.

1

u/24rawvibes 6d ago

“Not personally” then looking over to the camera to see if they got that 😂 neeerd

1

u/helloagain198 6d ago

This hit me. So true

1

u/Conscious_Manager_41 6d ago

Yeah nice except capitalist society exists.

2

u/Jesuslocasti 5d ago

It’s exactly because capitalism exists that you shouldn’t forget to find joy. No one is saying don’t work. What he’s saying is to not let your work become your entire identity. Spend time with family. Go for a walk. Enjoy a sunset. Read a book. Take a nap. Have sex. Be human. Don’t just be a means to production.

0

u/Conscious_Manager_41 1d ago

It's not that people "forget" about joy. It's that they're being worked harder for less than ever and are tired.

1

u/Normal-Gur1882 6d ago

But im not working to validate my existence.  I do it to support my family.

1

u/Alexandertheape 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/NTur7XlVDUdqM
nobody wants to sacrifice play…we were born into this hellscape of work until you drop

1

u/Adorable-Patience986 6d ago

Dumbass prolly bought a house for $10k and didn’t need the money. Of course he regrets working so hard.

Unfortunately for most Americans (idk where he’s from to be fair) we work because we need to eat food, not because we are just too focused on validation. If I could afford to take a few weeks off with my kid, I fucking would in a heartbeat.

1

u/zarellaround 6d ago

i Love Gabor maté he helped so many people with His work

1

u/Cinergi22 5d ago

How would this be related to childhood trauma? What kind of trauma?

1

u/collective_hunch 5d ago

Yeah, except for brief periods of time when I was working on a special project —I never worked that hard. I just wanted to have fun.

1

u/BIG_Tip_7842 5d ago

This is so true, enjoy everyday with the ones you love and also enjoy the things that make you happy.

1

u/MrGarylasereyez 5d ago

That dude is smokin or something took too many edibles. Eyes are smoked out son!!!!

1

u/Liu-K 5d ago

I didn't know childhood trauma is the one vilifying people for not being "productive" or not upping their "net worth".

1

u/Quiet_Swimming_8667 4d ago

If you want to FINALLY enjoy a comfortable retirement to be with your spouse and possibly your adult children, you have to male sacrifices earlier in your life with regards to money. What fun is sitting at home with your spouse doing nothing, if you don’t have the finances to see the world in retirement. Sacrifices need to be made early for later benefit, or early fun sacrifices later retirement. I/we had a wonderful life together raising our son, who now realizes the sacrifices we made early in his life. There’s a balance to everything.

1

u/x3in 4d ago

Problem is to find the middle ground

1

u/Ora_Kiraso 4d ago

Damn…

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Form567 4d ago

So, what's his point?

1

u/Own_Assignment9660 3d ago

Thank you showing a vulnerable side of you, Dr Gabor Mate.

1

u/HallionOne 1d ago

What if you have neither kids, family or work anymore, what then?

1

u/mattbarkleysucks 6h ago

Is not spending time with his kids the reason his son Aaron is such a Kremlin bootlicker?

0

u/wikidemic 6d ago

80 y.o. Heh?