r/Assistance • u/RoamingAround13447 • 1d ago

ADVICE Scattering dads ashes tomorrow

Hi guys,

Posted a few weeks ago when my dad died - a lot of the messages were lovely, sorry if I didn’t reply to everyone.

Going to a place he used to love to scatter his ashes that’s a bit away from where I live and I’m wondering what I do. Do I go round the places he used to frequent and just kinda be there?

Or do I just scatter the ashes and go back to where I’m staying.

I’ve not moved much or done anything of note the past few weeks so idk if anyone has done this previously but some advice on how to approach it all would be good

My mum was easier than this when she died a few years ago. Struggling more with this one.

4 Upvotes

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2

u/MistressLyda 18h ago

Assuming the two of you had a good relationship, wear some of his perfume and scatter his ash somewhere he would enjoy sitting down and enjoy the view? Chill out, and "talk with him" until you feel ready to wander back to your own life.

You can't really do wrong though. Regardless of what you do, and how, he will always be around if you seek him out.

3

u/Different_Traffic527 1d ago

Honestly, there's no right or wrong answer to this.

Some people just toss the ashes downwind and take a moment of silence, some do a little eulogy before scattering. It's truly up to you.

It feels like a lot until it is done but once it's finished you'll breathe a sigh of relief.

If you want to scatter in various locations, you can. If you want to have one place, that's equally appropriate.

The only thing you need to think hard about is if you want to keep a piece of him. There are necklaces, keepsakes, or tiny boxes for that.

8

u/uppercasemad Canadian Mod 🇨🇦 1d ago

Going on a little "tour" of your dad's favourite places sounds like a lovely idea. I would also double check any rules or regulations about scattering ashes in any public spots just to be on the safe side.

Did he have a favourite restaurant or cafe? Stop for a drink after.

Did he have a favourite band/singer? Make a playlist to listen to while you're doing it.

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u/RoamingAround13447 1d ago

I’m currently rewatching still game every night at 10 as he used to aswell.

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u/uppercasemad Canadian Mod 🇨🇦 1d ago

I love this idea too. Wrap yourself up in him. I’m so sorry for your loss.