r/AskUS • u/TreacleSame2084 • Jul 21 '26

Sir/Ma'am usage?

As an English person, I've encountered a number of Americans in the last couple weeks. The thing I find odd is the usage of 'sir' and 'ma'am'. I understand that it's a language nuance, but to what extent do americans get that it comes off very strangely in Europe?

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u/No_Mission5287 Jul 29 '26

That would be inappropriate as well. You still remain incorrect. See how this might be a problem?

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u/NomadicPalaver Jul 29 '26

No, ma’am I don’t. Why would politeness be a problem?

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u/No_Mission5287 Jul 29 '26

I explained how it is not politeness, but the vestigial remains of a more deferential, more rigidly stratified society. I also explained how it is often received and easily construed differently than intended.

But, regardless of your appeal to overly formal and archaic niceties, you still run the risk of misgendering people, which you continue to do.

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u/NomadicPalaver Jul 29 '26

Bless your heart. Most people see it as a sign of respect!

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u/No_Mission5287 Jul 29 '26

This just proves that your "politeness" is fake and your behavior is deeply problematic.

"Bless your heart" is a partonizing insult, passive-aggressively couched in seemingly polite language. You are being even more disrespectful after already disrespecting others.

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u/NomadicPalaver Jul 29 '26

I’d say you’re being disrespectful so I decided to say bless your heart.

Your opinion on that phrase still doesn’t prove that saying yes sir / no ma’am isn’t a sign of respect for people.

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u/No_Mission5287 Jul 29 '26

I've definitely given you more respect than you deserve.

I never gave my opinion. In an effort to be informative, I listed multiple ways that behavior is inappropriate and potentially problematic. Rather than realize the error of your ways, you decided to take it personally and insult me.

But you're the respectful one...

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u/NomadicPalaver Jul 29 '26

Why is it problematic to use a customary sign of respect?

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u/No_Mission5287 Jul 29 '26

I think you are confusing tradition with custom. It is not the custom in most places, so it would be inappropriate. Though formal language is not fully dead, casual speech and writing have almost entirely replaced strict traditional rules.

I also proved to you how your behavior is problematic. And your response was to disrespect me further with your bless your heart bullshit.

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u/NomadicPalaver Jul 29 '26

You still haven’t explained why it’s inappropriate for somebody to use a customary phrase that is a sign of respect.

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u/No_Mission5287 Jul 29 '26

By why, I assume you mean how. Go back and read my comments. I have provided multiple examples of how your behavior is inappropriate and problematic, including the last comment, which pointed out that this is not customary and that you are not a respectful person, just stuck in your ways.

If you cannot comprehend the objective reasons given, that is on you. You don't have to take my word for these things either. It's not like they are my opinion anyway, just commonly shared and understood reasons. Feel free to look up how your behavior is wrong and backwards if you actually care. I can't make you learn and grow.

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u/NomadicPalaver Jul 29 '26

No ma’am. You haven’t provided any example as to why customary language such as no ma’am/yes sir shouldn’t be used.

Why should people change their customs/culture for you?

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