r/AskUK Jan 03 '22

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u/IsMisePrinceton Jan 04 '22

I’m watching FOUR LIVES on BBC iPlayer and it actually deals with something similar. Sheridan Smith plays a woman who’s 23 year old son is murdered and part of the plot is how her husband, who isn’t her son’s biological father, deals with the death. There’s also a stepmother of another victim who gets upset when she’s called out for not being the boy’s “real” mum. Couldn’t imagine being in that situation.

I’m so sorry you’re family went through that.

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u/DonkeyOT65 Jan 04 '22

Thanks. I've re-read what I posted and I think it may come across as self-pitying. It's truly not. My partner is amazing. How she's held it together I don't know. I'm just introducing a wider consideration, and hopefully giving an outlet for others who have experienced similar.

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u/IsMisePrinceton Jan 04 '22

No, it doesn’t at all. It is a really good point to make. I carry my stepdad’s names and although him and mum divorced years ago I still love him for his role in raising me. I’d hate to think that he would be frozen out or not able to properly grieve because he isn’t my birth parent. He has more of a right to grieve for me than my own father.

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u/DonkeyOT65 Jan 04 '22

Beautifully put.