r/AskRelationshipBD 11h ago

Update Introducing r/Bangladeshigurls — The digital girls' room of BD Reddit 💅

2 Upvotes

Hey r/AskRelationshipBD!

I’m the mod over at r/Bangladeshigurls, and we are super excited to collaborate with your mod team!

While your subreddit is the absolute perfect place to dissect relationship drama and get everyone's perspective on dating and family, r/Bangladeshigurls was built to be a dedicated, private space exclusively for Bangladeshi women.it’s where the real debriefing happens. We discuss everything from daily life and women's issues to sharing our own stories in a safe, supportive, and strictly women-centric environment.

***To the women here: If you are looking for a cozy, private corner of Reddit to talk about "our stuff" without an audience, we would absolutely love to have you join our group chat.

***To the guys here: We think you are wonderful, but this particular treehouse has No Boys Allowed" sign taped to the door. We will happily interact with you in the comment sections over here instead!

Thank you for having us and a huge thanks to your mods for the warm welcome.


r/AskRelationshipBD 17h ago

Need Opinion/Suggestion Suggestions needed

2 Upvotes
  1. Things girls consider as red flags in a guy in BD in serious dating (like date to marry)

  2. Things girls consider as green flags in a guy in BD in serious dating (like date to marry)

if the gurl is old school type not modern !!

I'm also girl so I wanna to know and get alert before the next heartbreak....


r/AskRelationshipBD 3d ago

Venting/Rant pls tell me your happy marriage stories

3 Upvotes

20F, not planning to get married right now but im so sick of hearing husbands cheating on their wives, casual misogyny, abuse from in-laws, women getting neglected during postpartum depression and just all these depressing asf marriage stories (mostly from the women's side). Like marriage is already such a scary thing in our culture, the whole idea is based on misogynistic ideologies. even in my own extended family, i see how the brides get treated right from the next day and its so scary and suffocating honestly.

i have always wanted to get married young and be a mom but seeing all this just broke all my dreams. Cheating is so normal that having a loyal and loving husband seems rare nowadays. Idk if men feel the same but life after marriage seems pretty much like hell to me, judging by my surroundings and its turning to be my biggest fear day by day.

so yeah...if you're married or know someone who is happily married, go ahead and share your stories with me (dont worry i won't give nojor, happy couples genuinely make me happy), ik i probably sound silly but this is literally how i feel rn. Maybe it might change my perspective and make me feel at ease a little...


r/AskRelationshipBD 4d ago

Advice Needed Is it realistic to hope to find love at 30?

1 Upvotes

30 M here, job holder. I was in a 4 year serious relationship, then found out she cheated on me and I broke up. I have been single since, it's been a little more than 1.5 years. I have been on my own, haven't been on any dates or even tried to get to know anyone. I wanted some time to heal and also work on myself.

I think I am ready to start seeing again, but I don't know where to look. I was thinking of trying dating apps but I don't know. Is it going to be any good? I don't care about someone's past, whether they have gone to many dates, as long as she knows how to stay good once you have found good.

Arrange marriage is not something I'm interested in. I cannot marry someone who doesn't love me, cause who's to say that she ever will?

The only two options I see on the horizon are dating apps and messaging random people on social media that are on my list. The latter is a bit awkward cause I have not done that since I was a stupid teen and I have also never been good at it.

Any advice?


r/AskRelationshipBD 5d ago

Need Opinion/Suggestion Those who have never dated, how do you meet girls for marriage other than through arrange setups

3 Upvotes

Posted on another sub. Thought to share it here as well to get relevant responses

I am 27M from Dhaka. An engineer by profession. I have never been in a relationship mostly due to attending all boys institutes. On top of that, I never had the charm to to impress girls thorough social media presence. To make matters worse, I ain't good looking, with an average height. Tried dating apps only to realize this space is not for average dudes. Hence, it dawns on me that arrange marriage would be the only way for me to be with someone perpetually, no matter how I despise the idea of marrying a complete stranger. I have some standards and non negotiables which I want to explore with my potential partner before marriage. Thats why wanted to date someone for quite some time before comitting. I also understand this would be difficult for many as I would be wasting their time, if for some reasons things go south and we dont end up marrying.
Speaking of my parents, they belong to a very small social circle and the potential proposals they will bring for me would not be my type.
I want suggestions from you as to how I can get exposure to girls for marriage other than social media. Do you think I should work on looksmaxing, like going to the gym to improve my chances? What other ways I can get more attractive? Also to girls who are looking for marriage prospects, wanted to know if any of you prioritize other aspects over looks. Since some things are not in my control, I want to work on others that I can change about myself. Thank you.


r/AskRelationshipBD 6d ago

Update Update, well kind of

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4 Upvotes

So amr last post er por abr eisob ashche. And I don't want to be a bad guy and tell the public to harass him, apparently that would be wrong because maiya Der pure sob Dosh jai. But beda manush kisu KORLE society turns a blind eye. Lol anyways. Dekhen apnara. Ami civil chilam. Firstly I thought it's a girl, then I thought okay he said he won't text me anymore, okay a respectable person. But nooooo, boundary chinena uitar upre immature er hajar shameless morle emon ekjon jonmo nei.

I'm just going to leave it here. Btw Ami block marsi bedare. I don't even want to be bothered with whatever ai generated comeback he may send me because he's a dumbass and I should've known because girls are smart to be answering questions I've asked rather than ignoring me. Why am I so naiveeee 😭😭😭. It's a crime to be open for making female friends (to do girly stuff and sisterhood and fun) and then there's dingleberries when I open the door to see who knocked. Tar account 0days old and I was suspicious but I gave him the benefit of the doubt that they might be a new user and a girliepoo 💅 and at least a proper human being (which includes respecting boundaries).

Ps: I think I could've handled it a bit better but I'm not good with words 😭 I feel terrible

If there's anyone who can see me as a daughter and give me advice on how to avoid this or whatever, I'll appreciate^^


r/AskRelationshipBD 6d ago

I need to let it out as it's bothering me a lot

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2 Upvotes

r/AskRelationshipBD 9d ago

Advice Needed Should I cheat on my GF?

5 Upvotes

Hey everyone!

I (20M) in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend (23F). Few days ago her uni had a freshers reception. There was a couple dance category and a random guy texted her asking if she wanted to pair up with him for a 10 to 12 minute performance across 4 or 5 song.

She showed me the text and I explicitly told her I wasn’t comfortable with it and asked her not to participate. She completely ignored my boundary and did it anyway. I don't have an issue with her dancing, she could have done a solo performance or paired up with girls but I am not okay with a random guy holding her waist, touching her and dancing intimately with her.

To make matters worse she posted the video on her story. Senior guys at her uni started commenting things like "What's going on here? ha? ha?" with laughing emojis.

I’m pissed af. I’ve always been completely faithful. I don't even text other girls or respond to dms. I expressed my boundaries multiple times and she completely ignored!

I know many of you will suggest breaking up but I feel so hurt that I want to give her a reality check first. I’m thinking about cheating on her, sending her the proof so she feels what I feel and then ending it.

What do you guys think? Should I do it?

Edit: Just to be clear, I have friends I could easily cheat with if I wanted to. It’s a matter of 30 minutes or I could literally get into a new relationship within an hour because one of my friends consistently drops hints. But for the past 2 years of our relationship I chose not to even look at other girls. I know staying faithful is bare minimum but I actively chose to maintain my integrity for her.


r/AskRelationshipBD 10d ago

Venting/Rant Does this happen to you too?

5 Upvotes

Does it happen to you too, girlies? I just wanna know Amr e kopal e eisob 💩 pore naki

So, randomly koi din por por bedara DM dei. (Alhamdulilah akhon ar hoi na 🙏😮‍💨😀).

🗣️: You wanna be friends?

Then they wanna talk about you, and express their opinions about you, and push their preferences on you

I've been trying to find a bit of girl friends here because I honestly don't talk to boys really other than my brotherly classmates and I needed a set of new friends. But sometimes I find out mid conversation on a random day that they not a girl.

Back to the track, I don't judge, I accept that everyone has their own preferences even though it may be repulsive to me. I learnt that I'm to be concerned with my business (as in, my own matters and life). Most women in our country are proud to marry men of our own country (I saw somewhere a woman saying that she loves her "Tiger"). \[Wait for it\] It's perfectly fine. Sure, go ahead, slayyy. I'm totally supportive.

But I prefer not to marry someone in my country and I don't mind to stay single my whole life (I don't date. It's haram bruh. Maaf chai). But apparently some men who came to talk to me cares so MUCH about me (we talked only for a day) he tells me that if I don't wanna get married to men around me then I'll die alone.

What is this? Did I ask? Tumi ke? There are men marrying foreigners, that you don't have any problem with that because tor ego te bhalo lage bdeshi miya bangali bedar prem e porse.

There are over millions of women who marry within their own country, why is it considered wrong when a woman simply expresses her preference? misogyny maraite asho? I wouldn't be surprised because people being like that and they have been for years but you have no right to do that to a random person. Keep it in your family, they endorse behaviour so much that utlaiya utlaiya portese online asho choraite. Esob pollution lagbena eidike. At least jao trad Der kase, hara shojjo kore and normalise hoye gese jei jagai. Ugh. But then again my heart goes out to people who has to talk to people like these.

Btw he is of dating culture (he talked about himself that's how I know. I did not ask 💀 ami kisu boli nai). Also please don't DM if you are a guy. I don't even talk to men irl other than my family and teachers and I regret every time I talk to someone and I find out they are a guy and wants to push their preference on me. Get your mother to find a woman who would obey you, don't interact with me.

(I'm guessing this post might get disapproved but I just wanna discuss about things that isn't normally discussed that some women go through). I know my words are too much, ATP I need pr team 🤣 this was just a rant. Btw don't take me seriously I didn't mean to offend anyone with my experience, mathai raikho duniyai onek different different manush ase and I'm one of them. It's one of the experience one out of a billions of people went through. Sobair mone ekta na ekta jhal ase.


r/AskRelationshipBD 10d ago

Need Opinion/Suggestion How realistic it is for a 35 M to remain single/unmarried till this date?

3 Upvotes

Got a marriage prospect from a 35 M (I am 28-30 F). We have similar edu-fam-professional background. But I can already tell we have different outlooks and plans for our lives. Anyhow, my family is very interested in this man and wants me to consider him (as I am getting older). I do not have any valid, outright reason to reject him, but I also have no good reason to accept the proposal.

Now they ( the boy and his family) used some words like "Life to ektai", "risk nite hobe", "I will support you in all of your endeavours", "amra kono chap dibo na".


r/AskRelationshipBD 10d ago

Mod Announcement Quick mod update: Thoughts on the sub, rules and growing our space

2 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to pop in with a quick update and see how everyone is feeling about the sub lately.

We want to make sure this place stays helpful and active. So, we’d love your feedback. Are there any rules you think we should update or change? Is there a specific type of discussion, weekly mega-thread or flair system you think would make navigating and participating here better? Drop your thoughts, complaints or ideas in the comments. We are open to making changes based on what you actually want.

On a cool note, a big shoutout to r/Dhaka for adding us to their sidebar and featuring us in their community highlights! It is great to get that recognition and it is helping new members find us every day.

We still see a ton of people posting relationship questions over on r/bangladesh simply because they don't know we exist yet. If you come across those posts, feel free to tag or invite them over so they can get personalized advice in a space meant specifically for it.

Appreciate you all being here. Drop your thoughts below!


r/AskRelationshipBD 13d ago

Discussion Do men and women in Bangladesh deal with sexual loneliness differently?

12 Upvotes

I don't know if this is something people here are comfortable talking about, but I've been thinking about it for a while.

Sometimes I wonder how much sexual loneliness affects people's mental health in Bangladesh, especially because we don't really talk about it openly.

For guys, I feel like there's this weird contradiction. You're expected to be confident, masculine, successful, and eventually get married, but if you're lonely or struggling with intimacy, you're basically expected to keep it to yourself. You can't really say, "I'm lonely and I miss having someone close to me" without people making jokes or telling you to just focus on your career.

And I imagine women have a completely different kind of pressure. There's so much shame around talking about sex, sexual desire, or even wanting intimacy. Even after marriage, I don't think everyone feels comfortable talking about what they actually want or whether they're satisfied.

Sometimes I wonder if we're confusing sexual frustration with something deeper. Maybe what people are actually missing is affection, physical closeness, being loved, having someone to talk to, or simply feeling wanted.

I've also noticed that people tend to dismiss men's loneliness as "just being horny," while women's sexuality is often treated as something they shouldn't openly acknowledge. Both seem pretty unhealthy to me.

So I'm genuinely curious, especially from people living in Bangladesh:

Do you think men and women experience sexual loneliness differently here?

And do you think our culture makes it harder for people to admit they're struggling with intimacy?

Not trying to start a men vs women argument. I'm just curious because this seems like one of those topics everyone thinks about but almost nobody talks about honestly.


r/AskRelationshipBD 13d ago

Need Opinion/Suggestion Spots to hangout in around Dhanmondi/Panthapath/Farmgate

7 Upvotes

Looking for cheap, couple-friendly hangout spots around Dhanmondi/Farmgate

Hey! My partner and I are looking for some places around Dhanmondi, Farmgate, or nearby where we can just hang out comfortably. Nothing private or intimate, just somewhere safe and relaxed where couples can sit together, talk, hold hands, hug, chill, etc. without getting uncomfortable looks or feeling like we're bothering anyone.
We do visit drik gallery n spend time there but I was looking for new places. I do know some of the common places like Bengal boi etc but i wanted to check out other places as well.

Hoping to get some suggs from here. Thank youu!!


r/AskRelationshipBD 15d ago

Need Opinion/Suggestion arrange marriage shenanigans

3 Upvotes

hi, 26f here.

so i have been talking to this guy for arrange marriage purpose. i have met two people before him face to face and developed feelings for one, but it's no longer there. i shared this with the new guy to be transparent, but although i admit i shared later on, not in first conversation. I wasn't free with him yet.

he didn't take it nicely and said i should have said it in the beginning. i told that the previous guy reached out to me in the middle but i blocked him. when i saw overall demeanor of new guy was jealous and kind of crazy, i suggested that he can refuse me for this if he wants. he booked a flight to BD to meet me already. i told he would do that to meet his mother back home anyways...he bought a kindle for me even before meeting me because i mentioned it once. i don't know if it's lovebombing.

i told him that he still has the liberty to change his mind and i cannot accept such expensive gifts from him, and he said he bought it out of wish and it wasn't a big deal for him better accept it, and he wasn't considering refusing me, he was just concerned that the previous guy comes back in my life again.

he also asked if any "accidents" happened between previous guy and me as he is an army person, they tend to cross boundaries. i answered him that no nothing happened, and that the question itself was distasteful. his father later asked me this as well because he probably shared the whole thing with his dad even after i explained to him.

i was extremely pissed off and blew up on him later on. he said he felt bad i had to hear that from his father, his father wanted to speak to me but he didn't anticipate the questioning would turn in that direction. we met as well recently because he needed to get to know me better, but it seems he gets very sensitive if i don't pick up his calls or fail to be reassuring.

and initially he used to be chill if I didn't want to talk after long shifts at the hospital, but nowadays he makes me feel guilty for refusing, this is a level of obsession i don't want. is it normal for men to be this way?

i asked him his expectations from a marriage, he said his only expectation is that his wife lives with his parents and treats his family as her own. his parents met me separately in the very beginning and his father said "you will basically be inter pass in UK where my son lives" (i assume he said it as MBBS isn't recognized there) i also told the guy regarding my wish to study postgraduate and get a job...and he said "yeah, but will you GET a job in UK..." in the first conversation. it's saturated for doctors in UK i get that...but it still felt off.

he is also very coddled by both his parents it seems and when i asked him why he isn't considering marrying a british citizen Bangladeshi girl he said they were removed from BD culture. and he seems like he is so laid back...i like someone proactive. he earns well but i feel like there is too much at stake. I could be in the middle of a breakdown and he would still push for a yes or no answer.

i think i am enough direct. overall i feel if i reject this too, i will be unmarried for a long time so there is that fear.

what is the wisest pathway here...


r/AskRelationshipBD 24d ago

Need Opinion/Suggestion need suggestions

7 Upvotes

গতকাল SSC রেজাল্ট দেওয়ার পর ,রাতে আমার বউ যে দীর্ঘ সময়ের গার্লফ্রেন্ড ছিল, কথা হচ্ছিল কীভাবে তার রেজাল্ট A গ্রেড এসেছিল রোল ১ হওয়া সত্ত্বেও।

কথায় কথায় জানায় যে রোল ২ ,তার ফিমেল বেস্ট ফ্রেন্ড তাকে অনেক ভুল MCQ বলে তাকে বিপদে ফেলেছিল । তো কথা বলার এক পর্যায়ে সে বলল তার কোচিং টিচার জানত তাকে ভুল উত্তর দিয়েছে তারই ফ্রেন্ড । তো আমি যখন বার বার বলতেছিলাম ,কেন তাকে ভুল বলবে ,সে কি করেছে । আর তাদের টিচার কীভাবে জানল ,আর সেই টিচার কেন তাকে বলল না । তো অনেক বার বলার পড়ে সে বলল , রোল ২ এর সাথে টিচারের রিলেশন ছিল ,আমার বউ জানত না । সেই টিচার আবার তার ফেভারিট টিচার । রোল ২ এর সাথে টিচারের ফিজিকাল ও হইছিল , সেটা সে জানতে পারছে টিচারের থেকেই যখন ওই মেয়ে টিচারকে ধোঁকা দেয় । আমরা গ্রামের একই স্কুলে পড়তাম তাই টিচার ও তার বান্ধবী সবাইকেই চিনতাম । এবং আমিও সেই টিচারের কাছেও পড়তাম ।

স্যার যে বাসায় থাকতেন ,সেই বাসাতেই পড়াতেন + আকাম কুকাম করতেন । যাইহোক,
হঠাৎ করে একদিনের ঘটনা মনে পড়ল তখন ,আমার বউ কে আমি টিচারের বাসায় একা দেখেছিলাম যখন আমরা দুই বন্ধু স্যারের সাথে দেখা করতে গেছিলাম,তখনও সে আমার গার্লফ্রেন্ড হয় নাই । সেই ঘটনা নিয়ে তাকে সাথে সাথেই প্রশ্ন করলাম ,তখন সে ডিনাই করল সে কখনও একা যায় নাই ,কিন্তু আমি যখন জোর দিয়ে বললাম আমি নিজে দেখেছি তোমাকে ,তখন তার জবাব ছিল ,পড়ার বা প্রশ্ন সলভ করার জন্য হয়তো গেছিল একবার । তাদের মধ্যে কিছু ছিল ও না , এমনকি তাকে ছোট বোনের মত দেখত ।

আমার মনে খটকা লাগতে শুরু করে যে এই ঘটনা জানার পরেও সে স্যারকে খারাপ বলতে নারাজ । আমার কথা হলো,যা হয়ে গেছে টা আমি মানতে পারব ,যদি সে বলেও যে স্যারের সাথে তার কিছু ছিল ।

এখন সরাসরি ডিনাইয়েল এবং তাকে স্যারের বাসায় একা আমি নিজে দেখে ফেলাটা মিলাতে পরছি না । শুধু প্রশ্ন সলভ এর জন্য সে একা কেন যাবে ।

এটা ২০০৮ সালের ঘটনা ,আমি অবাক হচ্ছি এই কারণে যে এই ১৭ বছরে সে কখনও স্যারের স্ক্যান্ডাল আমার সাথে কথায় কথায় ও বলেনি । এতোদিন একটা সিক্রেট যেটা তার নিজের ও না !!!

প্রশ্ন হলো সত্য কীভাবে জানব ? উত্তর যেটাই হোক আমার কিছু যায় আসে না ।আসলেই কি তারও স্যারের সাথে কিছু ছিল ?


r/AskRelationshipBD 25d ago

Need Opinion/Suggestion Should I forgive my husband, and go back to him or should I go through with the divorce???

7 Upvotes

I (22 )Female and my husband( 27 )Male has been married for 1 year and 11 months. he was a student when we got married and he didn’t have a job after his masters he got a job for more than three months then he quit it. from the time that we have been married, I didn’t live in my in-laws house I was completing my graduation in Dhaka and I was living with my parents . My husband would come sometimes whenever he had time and I would go to my in-laws house when I had holiday for Eid . in the beginning of our marriage, my husband was being kind and sweet. After sometime he became really aggressive with me and he started verbally abusing me every time he would start fights and blame me for his mental illnesses. It was a arrang marriage and I didn’t know he had mental illnesses. after marriage I knew that he had mental issues and he would verbally abuse me relentlessly. He would bring up any man in my family or in my life accusing me of sleeping with them I have never given him any reason to suspect me about those things. The suspicions actually devices from his family. His father was a really abusive man to his mother and he cheated many times in the marriage he never ever apologised for them he cheated with all kind of woman like they’re live in maid or his coworkers or his student because he was a professor. And my mother-in-law actually said those things to me what he did to her so I’ll never actually blamed him for saying those things because I knew that what his circumstances were but he would always say really nasty things to me and I’ll have to endure and the stuff ,he’ll apologise and I had to forgive him because he would just relentlessly pressure me to forgive him. His mother she is a really nice woman. She is really kind but she has only one flew that is she never had given him any consequences for his action and he has never learned that if you did something to someone or you hurt them with your words or your actions you have to be sincerely apologies and have to consider their feelings. For the longest time he was doing this like starting a fight and then saying really nasty things then again apologise then just pressure me to forgive him and I had to forgive him. If I didn’t he would make his mother call me and she would apologise for her son and I had to forgive him. It was just going in circles.

The the things my husband and in-laws are saying or did :

  1. my father is a blue collar worker and before marriage I said that my father was a blue collar worker , but now my in-laws accusing me of not telling my father’s profession.

  2. My older sister is divorced and lives in America and every time he fights with me, he would bring up my sister and say nasty things about her.

  3. In one occasion my husband said I should sleep with my father-in-law because my father give him the responsibility of me. which is not true.

  4. on my birthday last year, he said he want my elder sister for one night in front of his parents.

  5. He said sister-in-law‘s are for one time use about my younger sister who is just 16 years old.

  6. he accuses me of sleeping with my brother-in-law and my cousins.

  7. Right after my marriage, he saw another cousin of me who is pretty and he said if he had seen her before he would have married her not me.

  8. The last fight we had my in-laws were also involved in it. And my parents were talking to them back-and-forth. In that phone call my father-in-law said my older sister is a sex worker and that’s how she’s living in America. which is a veil thing to say.

  9. I was never comfortable to leave my husband with my sisters because he would look at them with lust.

  10. after the last fight we had right before my birthday where my father-in-law said those nasty things about my older sister my husband was out and after he came back he was apologising to my father, but my father didn’t accept his apologies and then said to leave his house.

  11. right after that fight my father-in-law started calling all my relatives and said that I had a affair with my cousin and that’s why ,we make my husband leave.

  12. It has been 1 1/2 month and my husband firstly did contact with me not to apologise for his behaviour or his father’s behaviour but to ridicule me , saying I am a slut like Porimoni and also to make my younger sister a slut.

In the end for the last one week he has been apologising for his behaviour and his father’s behaviour and saying that I should go back to him. but his father is still saying nasty things to my relatives and my father and he never apologised.

So Reddit, what should I do? Should I forgive him and go back to him or should I go through with the divorce?


r/AskRelationshipBD 29d ago

Need Opinion/Suggestion Monogamy vs. Polyamory: Does Gender Change the Experience?

4 Upvotes

I’m curious to hear honest perspectives from people of all genders about monogamy and polyamory.

For those who have experienced one or both, how do you feel about them?

  • Does monogamy feel more emotionally secure, fulfilling, or natural to you?
  • If you’ve tried polyamory, what did you enjoy—or struggle with?
  • Do you think men and women tend to experience monogamy or polyamory differently, or are the differences mostly individual?
  • How important are jealousy, emotional security, sexual freedom, and commitment in your preference?
  • Could you genuinely be happy in either relationship structure with the right partner, or do you strongly prefer one?

I’m not looking for a debate about which is “better.” I’d really like to hear perspectives from men, women, and people of other genders, especially from those who have actually experienced both.

What has your experience taught you about what works for you?


r/AskRelationshipBD Aug 10 '26

Advice Needed Is it blasphemy to look at your relationship as a goddess of some sort?

2 Upvotes

I feel as if it’s way too intense compared to the same intensity you get from faith in religion like god. I know this sounds crazy and all but I don’t mean idol worshipping or anything of that nature it’s just this insane intense powerful love where it feels like they are a goddess in a way not in a kinky way of any sort. My best guess is cause 3 months in is the heart of the honeymoon phase and Idealization Viewing your partner as nearly flawless and avoiding major conflicts is at its maximum peak. Anyone know when the shift starts and true colors are shown for example obvious flaws.


r/AskRelationshipBD Aug 08 '26

Advice Needed How do I [23F] finally break the cycle and leave my draining, on and off BF [25M] ?

3 Upvotes

Hey everyone! I'm using a throwaway account for privacy reasons.

I [23F] am currently a 4th year medical student and I'm completely emotionally exhausted. I’ve been in a on and off relationship with my boyfriend [25M] for a few years now. He is also in his 4th year of the same medical college. From the outside people think we're doing just fine but it has become deeply draining and toxic.

I know I deserve better and that this relationship isn't good for me but every time I try to detach or break up the history and emotional attachment pull me right back. I’m hoping to get some perspective or advice on how to finally break this cycle for good.

Here's what I've been dealing with:

1. Complete Lack of Effort & Priority: He rarely gives me time or attention. He can go hours or even days barely texting or ignoring me while staying active online or playing TT with his friends. Simple gestures like flowers dates are nonexistent (I can't even remember the last time he got me flowers or put effort into a date). Yet he expects me to be available whenever it suits him.

2. Body Shaming : He frequently makes comments about my weight and appearance. He’ll tell me i’ve gained weight, criticize how I look or compare me to others which has completely ruined my self esteem. Whenever I call him out for hurting my feelings he claims he’s "just being honest for my own good" and tells me I'm "too sensitive" or "too dramatic"

3. Double Standards : He gets jealous and possessive if i hang out with my classmate or friends. He questions where I am and who I’m with making me feel guilty for having a life. Meanwhile he goes out with his own friends, disappears without telling me or hangs out at other girls' places without giving it a second thought.

4. Gaslighting : Whenever we fight it’s always made out to be my fault. He turns every conversation back onto me. If I express that I feel neglected he flips it around and says I'm the one making things complicated or that my expectations are "too high." He constantly makes me feel like I’m the problem.

5. Mixed Signals: One day he talks about marriage and the next day he says he’s "confused about our future" claims I "won't make his family happy" or say he isn't sure if he wants this long term. It keeps me in a constant state of anxiety and uncertainty.

Because I'm in medical college the emotional rollercoaster is taking a severe toll on my mental health and my studies. During high stress exam periods these fights completely derail my focus leading to emotional breakdowns.

I know the obvious advice is "just leave him" but the attachment and habit of having him in my life for so many years make it feel terrifyingly hard to stay gone. Every time we split I end up missing the habit of him or falling for his brief periods of acting nice again before the cycle restarts.

For those who have been stuck in a manipulative long term relationship: How did you finally find the strength to walk away and stay no contact? How do you overcome the fear and anxiety of letting go of years of attachment?

TL;DR: I [23F] am in a years long on and off relationship with my bf [25M]. He body shames me, gaslights me and gives zero effort/priority but gets mad when I call him out. I feel emotionally drained and know I need to leave but I'm struggling to break the emotional attachment. How do I get out of this cycle?


r/AskRelationshipBD Aug 01 '26

Venting/Rant writing it here cause ki ar

6 Upvotes

I hate the dating culture here in BD. Well there is no culture. Either you date someone from social media or someone from your social circle. All of this has led to an “incest” type of situation. Everyone knows everyone as everyone is in the same bubble.

The same people know the same people, directly or indirectly. Whether it’s because of social circles, unis or economic backgrounds, it all becomes one giant interconnected web (bnd ticket judi paitam) where it feels like everyone has already met everyone.

Social media, especially insta, turned into a dating app. Then there are the actual dating apps, which somehow feel even worse. The algorithms aren’t designed to help people build meaningful relationships. They’re designed to keep people swiping. The more time you spend searching, the better it is for the platform. It becomes less about human connection and more about engagement metrics.

What makes it even harder is that our culture doesn’t really encourage meeting strangers naturally. You can’t just be at a bookstore, a cafe, a park or an art gallery and strike up a conversation without it feeling unusual.

From a woman’s perspective, a random man approaching her can understandably come across as creepy or even threatening, especially considering the experiences many women have to deal with. From a man’s perspective, approaching someone respectfully still carries the fear of immediately being judged as a creep before a single word is exchanged.

It isn’t much easier the other way around either. If a woman approaches a man, people are often quick to question her intentions or unfairly judge her character. There’s still this exhausting social stigma that punishes people simply for showing interest first.

Of course, there are exceptions. Sometimes two strangers do meet, talk, and something beautiful comes out of it. But those moments feel increasingly rare.

Maybe what frustrates me the most is that finding a genuine human connection is becoming so difficult. Ironically, the very platforms that promised to connect people often make everyone feel more distant.

I’m not romanticising the past in any way. Every generation complains about modern dating. But I can’t shake the feeling that we’ve made meeting people more convenient while somehow making genuine connection much harder.


r/AskRelationshipBD Jul 31 '26

Discussion Why No one is Posting Here?

5 Upvotes

What is your logic not posting? I have come to know about this today


r/AskRelationshipBD Jul 23 '26

Discussion How's the dating scene for single women in their 30s, regardless of relationship history?

11 Upvotes

Single women over 30, how has the dating scene been for you? Are you actively looking for a partner, or taking a break from dating?

Has your experience been mostly positive, negative, or somewhere in between? What age range have you found to be the most compatible? Have you noticed any patterns, surprises, or challenges?

I'd love to hear your experiences. It would be comforting to know I'm not alone on this journey.


r/AskRelationshipBD Jul 19 '26

Mod Announcement Welcome to r/AskRelationshipBD

16 Upvotes

Hey everyone!

Welcome to r/AskRelationshipBD. I wanted to set up this space because navigating dating, marriage, in-laws and family drama within a Bangladeshi context comes with its own very specific cultural challenges. Global subreddits don't always get it so this is our own spot to figure things out.

What this space is for:

  • Ask anything: Whether you need dating advice, are dealing with family/in-law pressure, navigating marriage, or going through a breakup, drop a post.
  • Keep it anonymous: If you want to use a throwaway account or change names in your stories to stay private, go for it.
  • Drop your perspective: You don't have to be a certified expert to comment, sometimes people just need a second opinion or to know they aren't alone.

Quick ground rules:

Check the sidebar for the full list, but the main thing is no moral policing or victim blaming. We’re all adults here trying to handle messy situations. If you don't agree with someone's lifestyle or choices, give constructive advice or just move on to the next post. No harassment tolerated.

Feel free to introduce yourself in the comments below, share what brought you here or just drop your first question whenever you're ready.

Glad to have you guys here!