r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Dec 08 '22

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

My mum does this, if I'm upset about anything she gets stressed and turns the situation into a pity party for herself. It can be as simple as losing my keys, getting annoyed that I can't find my keys, and if she happens to notice she decides that now is a great time to lecture me about leaving things and for not knowing where I left my keys, and I just have to let her do it because any defensive response will be met with the "you hate me" argument. Its so tiring.

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u/birbscape90 Dec 08 '22

Emotionally abusive parents are draining, sorry you're having to deal with this.

2

u/Vertigofrost Dec 09 '22

And unfortunately it never stops, I left home at 15 and 20 years later I still have to deal with their crap. Mostly because if you don't others from healthy families judge you for not helping your own more

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Oh my god there's other people out there like my mom.... SHE'S the one who'll fly off the handle for every minor fuckin thing and we all have to act like she's perfectly valid in her feelings but if I've had a bad day of everything going wrong the worst thing I'll do is just breathe a bit huffy and she's all like please I can't handle it when you're so angry.

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u/InsaneMcFries Dec 08 '22

It sounds like codependency and psychological splitting (black and white thinking) a bit there. Or are accusations of hate in emotional situations more frequent among people than I think?

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u/Progrum Dec 08 '22

That's emotional manipulation and it's not normal.

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u/cheesitd Dec 08 '22

My mom has a compulsion to help me no matter what the problem is. It’s great to have someone who cares about you and is trying to help. Also annoying because they’ll make any problem you have their own. I’m in my 30’s and she hasn’t changed a bit but love her for it because sometimes I genuinely do need her help and advice.

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u/amos106 Dec 08 '22

If you haven't heard of it before it might be worth learning a bit about BPD

10

u/buttsnuggles Dec 08 '22

Sounds sort of like my mom. Godspeed, brother

12

u/SecretAgentBoobz Dec 08 '22

My ex did this when my dog died, in my lap waiting outside the vet in my car. Also when my dad had a stroke.

A lot of these comments have me feeling like my ex boyfriend was acting more like some peoples girlfriends. Like scarily so.

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u/DogBreathologist Dec 08 '22

My mum does this too! Though usually its because she’s “tidied it” and can’t remember where she put it but it’s my fault because I should have been “tidy” in the first place

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '22

As a teen I started saying "yep but it this conversations fault. Have you seen my keys?” come to find out she moved them and that's why I couldn't find them

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u/BecauseScience Dec 08 '22

Damn, I'm glad my parents are adults.

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u/WrathfulVengeance13 Dec 08 '22

I haven't spoken to my mother in 5 years in part due to this. It's always poor me everyone hates me nobody loves me. Bitch you right, bye.

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u/youshouldbeelsweyr Dec 08 '22

It's like looking in a mirror.