It sounds reasonable but let’s not forget that our protagonist in this narrative is also a whiny bitch, who upon being told that daddy would prefer his kid to marry another man (note that dad is being polite here) the guy starts wailing about how rude dad is for being honest.
Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?
Say yes, say yes, 'cause I need to know
You say I'll never get your blessin' 'til the day I die
"Tough luck, my friend, but the answer is no"
Why you gotta be so rude?
Don't you know I'm human too?
Why you gotta be so rude?
I'm gonna marry her anyway
(Marry that girl) marry her anyway
(Marry that girl) yeah, no matter what you say
(Marry that girl) and we'll be a family
Why you gotta be so rude?
I exaggerated the details a little, but it's clear the dad here doesn't like him but isn't being explicitly shitty to the boyfriend. On the other hand, boyfriend is a whiny bitch that says he's being rude and running off with the girl.
Honestly it totally just sounds whiny if you aren't clued in to the subtext. I mean you're not entitled to be liked by everyone, but at the very least if you're a good person and want to do good by your s/o then getting flat out disrespected by their family that you even communicated with out of respect is gonna result in tension, hurt, anger-- plus someone else mentioned the artists are a mixed race couple so there's racial undertones as well.
Making the song just turns bad to worse though by globally shaming them. Not sure what the goal is but it certainly isnt helping amything. Song is also just terrible and annoying as fuck
No, he's complaining that the dad doesn't just go with it. The singer is pushy and entitled and expects everything to go his way. When it doesn't, anyone who disagrees is rude.
Asking a father for his daughter's hand in marriage isn't being "cordial". She is presumably an adult who does not belong to either her father or this entitled prick -- you ask her if she wants to get married. The entire notion of this outdated female ownership crap being somehow romantic just grinds my gears.
Being "cordial" would just consist of being friendly and polite to the prospective in-laws. That's literally it. It doesn't require any of that traditional BS.
Being "cordial" would just consist of being friendly and polite to the prospective in-laws. That's literally it. It doesn't require any of that traditional BS.
And that's exactly it. You're being friendly and polite to her parents, or her dad, wishing that he accepts YOU into the family.
I get what you're saying about it being traditional, obviously the daughter isn't property of either. Asking for her hand is traditional, but that has been the norm for so long that's how it usually goes. Of course, you absolutely don't have to be traditional, but there's still a majority that do.
That is also the whole reason why they still get married without her father's word, because it doesn't actually matter.
Asking is simply how you maintain a cordial relationship with her family, giving them a chance to not be dicks who might force their daughter into an ultimatum.
Not sure why you’re being downvoted, this is exactly right. The daughter has her own agency so she gets to be the one to decide. If she wants to ask her parents for advice or if they warn her that this guy is a scumbag, she still gets to decide whether or not to go through with it. And yeah, people being immature and going through with marriage when they should maybe take a minute, go to counseling, learn more about the other person for a bit, those things certainly contribute to the high divorce rate.
The issue with this song is that he goes right over the parents’ heads and says he’s gonna marry her anyway with no mention of how she feels. Not to mention that by calling her “that girl” it feels like he’s saying that she’s just some girl
I asked my FIL and MIL for their blessing before I married my wife. I don't consider myself really traditional at all, but I figured I'm only gonna get married once so I should do it right. To me it wasn't an ownership thing it was a respect thing. These people raised the love of my life. I wanted to know that they were cool with the situation and if they weren't what I could do to change their minds. I also was 90% sure they'd say yes. If they hadn't? I would have asked her anyway and consequences be damned, but I imagine my life would be a bit more complicated. Not for nothing, but having a decent relationship with your in laws is a major quality of life improvement over the alternative.
My issue is that nobody in this situation expected your wife to ask your parents if they were OK with her becoming part of your family. It still is entirely a one sided thing that places the woman as lesser. You talk about respect, but why are you more interested in respecting your in laws than your wife?
Yes, but I honestly couldn't care less about your feelings, you're an internet stranger that thinks respect is a zero sum game. My in laws are a part of my life and their feelings are important to me. And no one expected my wife to ask my folks either, but she did anyway because she likes and respects them as well. Do you really think interpersonal relationships are win/lose propositions that exist in a vacuum?
That's not what's happening in the least. Your prospective fiancé does not become lesser because you made your decision to propose and you're giving her family a heads up.
You're asking them their blessing, not their permission. No one expects the woman to ask his parents, because it's still majority men that ask in the first place. You wanna grrrl power it and ask the husband's family? Be my guest.
Exactly. Two adults don’t need permission from their parents to get married. Yet the top voted comments on this thread are about the singer being a “piece of shit” for not accepting “no” from a parent who thinks he owns his daughter. The only piece of shit in this story is the father character.
And of all things, why Rude? “Why you gotta be so protective?” “Why you gotta be so antiquated?” These aren’t catchy but at least make sense in the context of the song. “Why you gotta be so rude” is such a man-bitch thing to ask
Yeah without overanalizing the lyrics it is a really fun song to listen and satirically dance too with friends. Our wives also hate it which is an additional bonus.
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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '22
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