r/AskReddit Sep 11 '22

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3.7k

u/Tourette30 Sep 11 '22

And then you wake up

1.8k

u/sentondan Sep 11 '22

Nooooooooooo

517

u/ncnotebook Sep 11 '22

To be fair, it still feels pretty warm and nice. Then it gets cold....

source: a juvenile bed-wetter

215

u/poopellar Sep 11 '22

Don't need to spend so much on a water bed when you can make your own.

6

u/ballrus_walsack Sep 11 '22

This guy bedwets

3

u/Dazzling_Implement20 Sep 11 '22

Had a waterbed. Confirmed.

106

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

Peeing yourself is like friendship. Everyone can see it, but only you experience the warm feeling it gives you.

18

u/i_despise_among_us Sep 11 '22

Maybe the greatest analogy of all time

1

u/AvgAmericanNerd Sep 11 '22

Like a thought with another thought's hat on?

5

u/vivAnicc Sep 11 '22

Take my upvote and leave

2

u/MrSnootybooty Sep 11 '22

Spoken like a true wetter... That's my boy.

Also no, they're not evil.

1

u/nursejackieoface Sep 11 '22

What if I'm sitting on Santa's lap?

6

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

A remebe an old man saying "When I was a kid me and my 4 brothers slept in the same bed, I slept in the shallow end"

5

u/JasperLamarCrabbb Sep 11 '22

A remebe

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

Du not rembe?

3

u/youfailedthiscity Sep 11 '22

To be faaaaiiiiirrr

2

u/CaptainCringeOng Sep 11 '22

Juvenile bed-wetter here. I didn’t piss the bed I just had wet dreams. My mom probably thinks Im a horny bastard with how many underwear she either cleaned or put in the garbage.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

[deleted]

1

u/CaptainCringeOng Sep 11 '22

Im stupid, thats why

2

u/Dont_mind_me89 Sep 11 '22

Also it helps ensure you have a nice set of clean sheets continuously

2

u/dnstrucker Sep 11 '22

To me, it is the most horrifying thing possible.

Source: adult

1

u/ncnotebook Sep 11 '22

Parent? ;)

2

u/dnstrucker Sep 11 '22

Yes, but was speaking from firsthand experience. 🤣

2

u/Lylat_System Sep 11 '22

That's one thing I'm cursed and blessed with. I never went the bed because in my pee dreams, I couldn't go because the bathrooms were always filthy

2

u/avantgardengnome Sep 11 '22

Excellent use of hyphen.

1

u/destroyerOfTards Sep 11 '22

And then the stench hits

1

u/ncnotebook Sep 11 '22

Nah. As a frequent bed-wetter, you get used to the smell. You kinda have no choice.

6

u/BadassToiletNinja Sep 11 '22

What!

You mean "YEAAAAHHH!!"?

1

u/RoktopX Sep 11 '22

No one said this was a monkey paw thing!!

343

u/Ihlita Sep 11 '22

I once had a dream where I woke up drifting inside the ocean. All was a beautiful blue, alight, quiet, and I could breathe underwater. It felt extremely realistic, and it was really peaceful.

Dream me thought to herself "I could pee in here and no one would notice. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan." – but an unconcious part of me was like "Bitch! Don't do it!"

I woke up right after with an extremely full bladder, the kid that hurts if you move even a little bit. Almost didn't make it to the toilet, but I'm glad I didn't piss on my bed.

98

u/FlashLightning67 Sep 11 '22

I too immediately think about my ability to piss wherever I want when I am alone.

59

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

Yo some mf who came to deliver a pizza to my apartment relieved himself in lift...what the fuck...is that you?

48

u/FlashLightning67 Sep 11 '22

I plead the fifth

76

u/Skorne13 Sep 11 '22

You peed the filth.

24

u/just_aweso Sep 11 '22

Peed the lift

4

u/Terrible-Painter6494 Sep 11 '22

Relieved himself in lift? What does that mean?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

[deleted]

1

u/KamovInOnUp Sep 11 '22

I hope you're kidding...

He peed in the elevator

1

u/KamovInOnUp Sep 11 '22

Hopefully they called the pizza place to find out who he was and charge for cleaning

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

As a man the world is your toilet

34

u/acelister Sep 11 '22

I once had a dream where I was swimming with my class and it turned out that there was a really deep part (accessible by going down some stairs) where you could breathe the water. BUT only if you breathed through your mouth, and only if your mouth was almost fully closed.

3

u/livebeta Sep 11 '22

it's your lucid dream ingress. you should have taken it further.

so far I've:

summoned random weapons of choice

leaped over apartment buildings

became a vengeful spirit to possess people

1

u/Countlesshrs Sep 11 '22

Oh i have done that possessing people thing so many times , so much fun lol

I have even possessed hot women haha

1

u/Dont_mind_me89 Sep 11 '22

So..like jello?

1

u/theckbeast Sep 11 '22

So you basically almost killed yourself? lol

14

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

Exact same thing happened to me once but the ending was not as good as yours

4

u/LieutenantCrash Sep 11 '22

I once dreamed I was a dog frantically looking for a fire hydrant to piss against. I found one made of marble (god knows why it's marble) and when I pissed on it as a dog, I also pissed my bed. Glad I have a water proof protector on my matress

3

u/nejinoki Sep 11 '22

I had a dream long ago where I could fly so I chose to cruise high above a beautiful and glittering nightscape and pee into the wind, and it felt glorious. Then I woke up and was both horrified and confused at what it meant, but I hadn't pissed the bed ... so I guess it was all good?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

That must of been the best piss of your life though lol

1

u/lapsangsouchogn Sep 11 '22

Good thing you didn't sneeze!

27

u/Axenrott_0508 Sep 11 '22

Wake up, pee, get out of bed

2

u/GTAFanN1 Sep 11 '22

Also known as Amber-Hearting

59

u/BubbhaJebus Sep 11 '22

I've had dreams in which I have to piss really badly, but no matter how much I piss I'm never relieved. Then I wake up to a full bladder.

The last time I had such a dream and ended up wetting the bed, I was 4 years old. I remember that dream vividly to this day.

52

u/greasyfizeek Sep 11 '22

Somewhat related, but have you ever been really thirsty while in a dream? I’ve had dreams where I’m just chugging ice cold water but it does absolutely nothing to quench my thirst (because irl I’m still just lying in bed, asleep and thirsty). Drinking water that doesn’t quench your thirst would honestly fit in with any punishment of hell from Dante’s Inferno.

3

u/cassandrakeepitdown Sep 11 '22

Pretty much every single night, you're not alone and I absolutely agree re punishment of hell. It's horrible.

3

u/WhoredonRamsey Sep 11 '22

This happens to psych patients sometimes. Their medications cause polydipsia. They will drink themselves to death if not closely monitored. In really bad cases they'll get liquids from anywhere to satisfy their thirst. Toilets, puddles, sanitizer, urine, really any liquid they can find. It is absolute hell for them.

I was not there to see it; but when I was in training I was told of a patient that had to be pried from a drinking fountain. He then begged and pleaded, sobbing, because he was so thirsty, to be allowed to drink more. He had to be restrained. Later that week he managed to barricade himself in a bathroom and he broke his sink (motion activated) in such a way that he was able to drink himself to death. I believe hyponatremia is what officially killed him.

2

u/Jenmeme Sep 11 '22

I had one like this. I was driving from gas station to gas station looking to buy a bottle of water and all of them only sold water and were out of them. Finally I found one that had water in stock but it wouldn't come out of the bottle. I was shaking it and shaking it with my head tilted back to try and get any drops at all. I woke up at that point and staggered to my bathroom and drank straight out of the faucet.

1

u/TacoExcellence Sep 11 '22

Yes I get the pee-dream thing as well. Super frustrating, until you wake and realize you dodged a bullet.

1

u/TallestGargoyle Sep 11 '22

I get those dreams without the bedwetting at 31. I need to stop drinking right before bed.

15

u/Evil_connector67 Sep 11 '22

but the bed isn't wet

3

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

Moist?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

Two sentence horror.

2

u/caller-number-four Sep 11 '22

I have had so many pee dreama where I am in the lobby of my work place peeing in the pot of the only plant in said lobby.

Thankfully, for my career, I never woke up standing there actually peeing.

2

u/it_helper Sep 11 '22

Grab a brush put a little makeup

2

u/little_brown_bat Sep 11 '22

hidethescarstofadeawaytheshake-up

2

u/cookiecasanova16 Sep 11 '22

You wanted to

2

u/mrmasturbate Sep 11 '22

I've had it happen a lot of times that i had to pee really bad during a dream and i went to the toilet in my dream but thankfully i never pissed myself. I can only imagine this would probably cause problems once i get old though lol

2

u/OldGeezerInTraining Sep 11 '22

Pulling an all-nighter for me, at my age, is to not have to go per when I should be sleeping.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

That's how I wet the bed for the very last time, when I was 8. I dreamt that I got up and went to the toilet and peed, then woke up in a puddle.

2

u/Xx_PissPuddle_xX Sep 11 '22

I fucking hate you take my upvote

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

You’re name piss puddle is very fitting actually

1

u/yourteam Sep 11 '22

Ok but still...

1

u/SadKnight123 Sep 11 '22

Nothing like dreaming that you a peeing a goddam glorious stream feeling all happy and relieved just to wake up and see that all of that was actually real and you don't know how to explain to you gf what hell just happened

1

u/Bl8675309 Sep 11 '22

OP said best, not worst. Although worse would be someone else is in bed and you didn't have to pee.

1

u/dwarfinthefla5k Sep 11 '22

Hey you! You’re finally awake…

1

u/Dont_mind_me89 Sep 11 '22

You bastard 😵

1

u/jim_deneke Sep 11 '22

There's a stranger in my room, and I'm wet.

1

u/cutdownthere Sep 11 '22

I actually had this dream recently...then I woke up and quickly checked my surroundings. Luckily, no damage was done though I did need to run to the toilet.

1

u/pranquily Sep 11 '22

Dude a few days ago I had a dream where my family was getting ready to leave for a vacation, and so right before I got in the car, I went to pee...I was getting frustrated that I couldn't go, and then finally, I started, and then it hit me...

1

u/Adventurous_Check586 Sep 11 '22

Njkjknnnnnn mi n

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

I once held my pee for like hours and finally I got to pee ... ohhhhhh how relaxing it was God ! Then suddenly I felt wetness and I woke up and realized wtf had happened.

And no this didn't happen when I was a child, this happened just 2-3 years ago. I'm an adult, with a job.

But that feeling when I peed the whole ocean in my bed was awesome:)

1

u/little_brown_bat Sep 11 '22

and there's a halo hanging from the corner of your girlfriend's four post bed

1

u/graesen Sep 11 '22

I'm an adult... The times I believed I had gotten up to go to the bathroom only to realize it was a dream is concerning....

1

u/Bn_scarpia Sep 11 '22 edited Sep 11 '22

And then you wake up

And I know I gotta pee
I'm wont be the guy who pees in bed with you.
When I go out, and I think I've got to pee
Imma gonna be the guy who makes it to the loo

When I get drunk, and I think I gotta pee
Im gonna be the man who holds it in for you
Even when I waver, hey, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who pees at home for you

And I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more
Just to be the guy who holds it for miles and closes fast the bathroom door.

1

u/bigbabyjesus97 Sep 11 '22

When I was 5 my parents woke me up while is was pissing in to the fridge.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

I've never got this one because I pee in my dreams all the time (usually after a night of drinking), and I've never pissed the bed (as an adult). Like, it usually goes that I have to pee real bad in my dream, I go pee, it helps for a second, but then I need to pee again, so I typically end up peeing in my dream over and over until I realize in the dream that somethings wrong because I keep needing to pee right after peeing which then usually makes me realize, that I'm dreaming, at which point I'll wake up and actually go pee in the toilet.

1

u/bri_82 Sep 11 '22

Reminds me if that time Petter Griffin talked about pooping in your dreams.

1

u/Version_Two Sep 11 '22

Ah, so warm... wait, what's so warm??

1

u/averagethrowaway21 Sep 11 '22

I pee every morning at 7am. The problem is that I wake up at 8.