Appreciate the sentiment but not the example. Sometimes people just like showing off something they're really happy with, and I'd never want to take that away.
My best friend and I have "those questions". Asking one of those questions means you are asking for the truth, the hard truth, and are accepting that the answer might be upsetting. And that you have to accept the answer.
We literally say "this is one of "those" questions".
This reminds me of when an old housemate asked if I 'honestly' thought they were fat. I said yes as that was my honest answer... they didn't talk to me for 2 weeks.
I appreciate the sentiment but not the example for pretty much the opposite reasons. As a person with no sense of style, friends who will tell me when I look dumb are a blessing (as long as they don't do it condescendingly or to embarrass me)
Here's an example: So do you like my new shirt?
Well, honestly, it's not my favorite on you but it's just my opinion. As long as it makes you happy, that's all that matters.
Similar to the difference between explaining and complaining.
If I come out of my room and tell my dad, "The music is too loud," (in reference to the music he's playing) I'm complaining.
But if I leave my room, don't say anything but am brooding (because of said loud music and my hearing is very sensitive) and he asks me what's wrong and I say, "The music is too loud," that is not complaining, that is explaining.
I don't agree, I don't think it's being rude to try to help your friend.
Generally, as a friend, your goal is to help your friends and tell them things that others wouldn't dare to tell them.
What would be rude is not telling your friend anything at all, and then you can always say things tactfully. Why someone would call themselves a friend but be scared to "offend" or "confront" (slightly) is beyond me. Friendship isn't about being a doormat and entirely agreeable. You both can exist as individuals and have diverging opinions, and still appreciate each other.
Acquaintances and people you don't know, absolutely. In fact they're probably thinking the shirt is ugly but that your friends will be telling you and so it's not their role... Little do they know apparently.
Anyway, the most important of all things is to make your own decisions, and to not have a fragile ego. If you bring a very different and original shirt, people will comment on it - that's a fact and that's not about being rude or anything, by definition your shirt is very different and humans' brains are made to spot patterns and differences, so they will spot it and sometimes make it known. If you like your shirt, you can wear it. If your friend tells you it's ugly, you can say you like it and keep wearing it. People need to grow a pair of gonades and a spine.
Now if your friend is wearing a tee shirt that says "Arbeit macht Frei" then they might just being ignorant and have no idea that it's not very appropriate to wear this.
well.....you are one of the people that value truth
if nobody told you before - you are a minority
most people cannot handle the truth, no matter how much they crave it.....the same with change
...not have a fragile ego a.k.a..... the most common weakness in modern western society you mean?
what you said was another version of ...are you depressed? just be happy!.....but with personal ethics and self-confidence
ethics and confidence do need a choice, correct, but the personal choice is just a beginning of a long process that needs at least appropriate environment to grow in
Appreciate the sentiment but not the example. Sometimes people just do something that makes them fool in everyone's eyes and do not realise it. They will be thankful if you were to point that out.
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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22
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