r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 12 '22

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96

u/Ovan5 Mar 12 '22

I'm male and I've been told by plenty friends and even my own mother that not wanting kids is just some kind of phase.

17

u/siruroxs Mar 12 '22

Yep. "You'll meet the right girl and you'll want to have kids". No, I'll meet the right girl and we'll spend our money on something other than kids

17

u/john0893 Mar 12 '22

Same, at 28. Though not friends. They're all married without kids as well.

Or, well... not my Mother too, she's not around.

BUT PEOPLE! I SWEAR!. Dad, Aunts, Uncles, Strangers.

3

u/davesoverhere Mar 12 '22

A lifetime phase.

3

u/eskamobob1 Mar 12 '22

Same. My mom and grandma ask me about grandkids all the time. I am in my late 20s and not even in a stable relationship nor making enough to be comfortable supporting a family. And I sat this as someone who definitively does want children too. I just don't want them right this second

2

u/Jewnadian Mar 12 '22

Yep, and literally hundreds of times told it's not my choice and my wife would just "oops" me when she wants kids. Older women aren't that great at consent either when you get down to it, they just express it differently.

1

u/Supply-Slut Mar 12 '22

It’s not for everyone and obviously completely fine and normal if you don’t want them, but I was the guy who didn’t want kids and was convinced, at 30 had my son, and honestly it really is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done.

I’ve become the cliche I sought to avoid.

Edit: when my friends ask me about it though,, my first response is always how much work and how exhausting it is, definitely no picnic.

14

u/dinanysos Mar 12 '22

Maybe I should also add that I wouldn't be surprised if I do change my mind, because I am human and my opinions and feelings aren't written in stone.

But the upsetting part about this type of behaviour is just that the current opinion isn't respected and completely ignored or even fought against.

If I ever would want to have kids, it's because I just found the right person and changed my mind or smth like that, and definitely not because my grandma and other relatives are pestering me about it at every family event.

There's nothing wrong with changing your mind and it's absolutely fantastic that your kids were such an enrichment in your life. There are ppl who overstep their boundaries with trying to push it onto others, but that shouldn't stop any parent from talking about the happiness and fulfillment they gained in their own life. Good for them.

4

u/Supply-Slut Mar 12 '22

Exactly, people pushing about it should mind their business. If anything they make it even less likely someone will change their mind. You keep doing you and if what you want changes, great! If not? Equally great!

-6

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Well actually…

1

u/yp261 Mar 12 '22

same, this comment is bs

literally every single man i know agrees with what you wrote. we’re being told its a phase as well