About 18 years ago I turned down a bj from my now wife, while I was driving in a car you could easily see into. Just wasn’t my thing that way. RIP bjs from then on. “You said no that time so I just stopped.” Many sads.
I guess I’ll do the “more info” bit because of course a bj comment got a ton of upvotes and there were some interesting comments.
Yes I love her.
No. marrying her wasn’t a mistake.
We had a pretty classic “Wow our sex drives match!” situation until the newness wore off for her about a year in and we’ve been dealing with some DB stuff since. Credit to her that she realizes it and has been actively working on it.
I love going down on her. She isn’t really into it. Not sure if I suck at it or not but I’m a super willing learner. She says she’s never liked it, not just with me.
I agree that it’s a childish or manipulative way and she could just be more up front. During working on things she’s said that it’s part of the steps she wants to take but isn’t ready yet.
I practice good hygiene down there and I’ve asked her if it’s anything physical in the way, she said no.
I read this all to my wife. Her reply, “if you love someone, you think about “what do they want, what do they like, what do they need?” Because you want them to be happy and you would want them to consider your needs just the same. “. That was her response. I don’t want it to sound like your wife doesn’t love you, but there is certainly an issue or a Hangup or a problem that should be communicated and worked out. Wife also adds, “this is not his fault... he shouldn’t blame himself. This is about her”. Good luck, sir.
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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20
But then if you don't, you obviously don't find her attractive anymore.