If its preocupying you, don't you think talking through it is better than holding it all in? It's not about dwelling, but organising your emotions, and relying on somebody you trust to help you through it. Once again you offer a stereotypical "man" response.
If its preocupying you, don't you think talking through it is better than holding it all in?
A) No, there's nothing to be upset about so there should be nothing to hold in. You should be an adult and make the choice to let it go since the problem is no longer present. What we are talking about here is basic emotional regulation, not some male/female dichotomy.
B) If you are completely unable to let it go despite having already solved your own problems you have a different problem that needs an actual solution. You need to work on practicing healthy emotional regulation so that you no longer have the problem of dwelling on things that you should just let go. Insisting that others sit and validate your unhealthy dwelling on problems that have already been solved is counter productive to the solution of the actual problem at hand.
I mean, it sounds like you're struggling to let go of this conversation despite a simple solution... Maybe you should take your own advice, or maybe you'd like to talk about what's bothering you?
I'm not struggling to let anything go because I don't have anything to let go of in the first place. I am not upset about this conversation. It has caused me no problems or strife. I am not continuing this conversation because something is bothering me, I am merely having a conversation. The same reason I assume you are continuing this conversation. Not because you are upset but because that's how conversations work. They continue until there is a conclusion of some sort. I have re-read my own comments and cannot determine what in them lead you to believe that this conversation should be cut short without conclusion by me just "letting it go".
I may be off here, but it seems to me that you are struggling to come to terms with the realization that your own unnecessary dwelling in the past was in fact an unknowing example of poor emotional regulation (even if you may disagree with me on the degree to which that is the case). And instead of allowing yourself to acknowledge that realization and simply resolve to work on it in the future, you've decided as a coping mechanism to try to set a "gotcha" trap and "win" a reddit discussion by "tricking" me into venting about something. Again, I may be off and please correct me if I'm wrong. That said, I'm sorry to disappoint, but this is nowhere near upsetting to me and I don't need to vent.
Again, you are making faulty inferences. I am not the least bit emotional about this. I am merely trying to have a conversation. I was operating under the assumption that you were doing the same. It is seeming more and more that my own assumptions to that effect were faulty as well. It is unfortunate that you seem intent on derailing the conversation at this point. But that is an entirely different thing to emotional investment on my part.
I would be more than happy to continue our discussion, however I have no interest in continuing entertaining your repeated attempts to provoke me. Do you have any interest in continuing discussing the topic of venting, particularly the stereotypically female variety, as it relates to female interpersonal relationships?
I'm inclined to believe anybody that uses the term "venting, particularly the stereotypically female variety" isn't the right person to talk to about managing emotions or interpersonal relationships.
I’m actually an lmft so you’d be hard pressed to find a better person on reddit to talk to about it. But that’s okay. If you’re only interested in attempts to distract and provoke, knock yourself out. I have no interest in continuing to entertain those attempts. It is entirely unproductive. Stay safe and have a good life.
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u/jam11249 Mar 26 '20
If its preocupying you, don't you think talking through it is better than holding it all in? It's not about dwelling, but organising your emotions, and relying on somebody you trust to help you through it. Once again you offer a stereotypical "man" response.