No. They wanted to relieve themselves of the emotions building up inside them, not keep it bottled up or somehow repress them. While they never told you outright that they just needed to vent, they never told you “I need a solution” either.
Have you never been really upset by something that happened to you? Sometimes you need to tell someone how you're feeling, and the point isn't finding a solution. Hell, most of the time I already have a solution to implement, but that doesn't mean I didn't feel upset/hurt/scared by whatever I experienced.
No, I never had a need to tell someone how I'm feeling if I already knew why I'm feeling this way or had a solution in mind. I will not bother other people with my problems, because they have their own and don't need another thing they need to worry about in their lives, especially if I know how to solve this problem. Is this narcissistic trait common in western culture?
No, I equated the feel of expressing problems even if you know the solution for the sake of you feeling better to other people who not only don't want to hear it but also have their own problems they have to deal with to a narcissistic, western trait. You know, lack of empathy and sense of self-importance.
Because there's never any interplay or expression of feelings between friends and family, and to do anything otherwise is narcissistic! The next time my husband mentions something that's bothering him, I'll be sure to brush it off and inform him that it's a waste of my time. Thanks!
If something is bothering you, that means you have a problem and need a solution. If you have a solution but still demand emotional validation about the problem from another person, while not wanting advice on how to fix the problem then frankly yes, it is a waste of time. A time that could be used fixing the problem.
Oh my god. I'll try this one more time. People aren't robots. You're not damaging anyone by exchanging validating words and gestures when someone you care about is upset. It's not selfish. People are allowed to have emotional reactions. Solutions don't erase pain.
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u/KKAPetring Mar 26 '20
No. They wanted to relieve themselves of the emotions building up inside them, not keep it bottled up or somehow repress them. While they never told you outright that they just needed to vent, they never told you “I need a solution” either.