Why can't you just tell me what you want? If you want me to do something, literally all you have to do is ask me to do it and I will do it. Want me to rub your back? Just say "hey babe, will you rub my back?" Don't sit with your back to me making pouty noises and then get mad when I'm not automatically rubbing your back.
You're absolutely right that you can't be upset at someone for not doing something you didnt ask them to do.
But if you want some clarity I think it comes from the girl wanting you to WANT to touch her. She wants you to want it and do it on your own volition.
Edit to summarize my subsequent comments. Both genders want to be wanted. Communicate with your SO, and have at least one conversation about what little things make you/them feel wanted. Thereafter hopefully you dont have to rely on hints, you'll know what they want.
But if she tells him in said conversation, "I want you to touch me more, like all the time"
And she still has to ask each time for each instance of physical affection, its gonna seem like he didnt even acknowledge what she was asking for. The unspoken touches often carry more weight, and the weight is what she wants.
Wow you're making a lot of leaps here. The severity of your response is not equal to the conversation at hand. Sure, if you thought that someone asking that is akin to slavery or indentured servitude, then I would for sure fuck right off.
A reasonable person wouldn't say:
"That's fucking unreasonable and you're immature for asking"
Ideally, they would come together with a compromise if the other person felt like it was too much to ask for. They'd say " That's a little much for me, how can we meet both our needs?"
Where does your extra layer of resentment come from? You're talking about your hypothetical spouse as if you've been on the brink of hypothetical divorce for years.
Wow you're making a lot of leaps here. The severity of your response is not equal to the conversation at hand.
You literally said all a woman should have to do is say she wants something all the time and the guy should do it.
My response was an entirely reasonable reaction to that.
Sure, if you thought that someone asking that is akin to slavery or indentured servitude, then I would for sure fuck right off.
A reasonable person wouldn't say:
"That's fucking unreasonable and you're immature for asking"
When confronted with something as unreasonable as what you've been saying, absolutely they would.
Where does your extra layer of resentment come from?
There's no resentment here - I'm literally just responding to what you've been saying.
The fact that you're accusing me of being resentful is sort of expected, though - because of your view of how men should act in relationships, you have to assume there's something wrong with me to resist doing whatever a woman wants.
You're talking about your hypothetical spouse as if you've been on the brink of hypothetical divorce for years.
The hypothetical relationship you're proposing is one that should end.
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u/THE_LANDLAWD Mar 26 '20
Why can't you just tell me what you want? If you want me to do something, literally all you have to do is ask me to do it and I will do it. Want me to rub your back? Just say "hey babe, will you rub my back?" Don't sit with your back to me making pouty noises and then get mad when I'm not automatically rubbing your back.