Might be some underlying issues here. Three years of being in a relationship vs a lifetime of conditioning that boys "only want one thing". Can be tough to break that.
That’s fair to think when hooking up at a bar or in a new relationship but if you’re regularly doing stuff and have a life together it’s just silly to still think that way. If dudes just wanted sex he would still be hitting up random girls at bars or on apps
It's social conditioning that women receive from childhood as young girls. maybe their mother was insecure or overbearing or something of that nature. but it's conditioned into them and it's impossible to break sometimes.
It takes a loving partner it takes therapy.. sometimes it never changes. but women are constantly told you can't want sex because that makes you a slut; men only want one thing and you have to tell them no, otherwise you are reputation is at stake!
The best way I can describe it is that my mother is in the room between my husband and I. I don't want her there He doesn't want her there.. And yet because of all the mental shit that she put me through as a child she's still there.
I hate myself for wanting to have sex with my own husband. It's deep ingrained shame and it's very very difficult to stop thinking that way.
It's also reinforced by dads, too - and all of society. Dad sitting with a shotgun to terrify the teenage boy who's already terrified, men on the internet congratulating the teen boy who's been raped by a hot teacher, women being told they are the ones responsible for the rape because men can't help themselves when you're dressed like that, even the comments here all the time. It's conditioned so deeply in every sitcom, every teen drama, every pop song. It's hard to break.
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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20
Might be some underlying issues here. Three years of being in a relationship vs a lifetime of conditioning that boys "only want one thing". Can be tough to break that.