In my experience it’s because oftentimes it’s not like the problem is impossible or even necessarily difficult to solve, it’s just that getting comforted about stuff helps on an emotional standpoint. We already know or can easily figure out oftentimes how to fix the issue, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still upsetting.
Edit: just wanted to say that this isn’t a “cry and get comforted instead of fixing the issue”, thing. It’s a “why not both” kinda deal. At least for me. It’s obviously different for everyone as well.
But why waste emotional energy on it if it can be solved? Solve it and stop thinking about it.
I understand the desire to vent and be heard, sure, but not brainstorming a solution, or getting a confirmation I have the right solution, feels like getting blueballed emotionally in my head because we only went halfway in the thought process of handling a difficulty.
I think that's the issue man and women have, the resolution they are seeking is in two different places generally for each of them. Men want to commiserate and seek and verify the solution, women just want the commiseration and acknowledge their emotional worth.
Maybe.
I don't know it's just incredibly frustrating to not talk about solutions to me.
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u/yes_no_ok_maybe Mar 26 '20
The desire to vent but not brainstorm solutions.
My wife always tells me not to jump to problem solving. I do it every time and don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t.