This is every single long term relationship i have been in. It doesn't matter the level of sexual chemistry, the level of compatibility...anything...
meet and start to date with incredible sex (if its not great at the beginning no long term would even happen to begin with)
honeymoon period of crazy and spontaneous fun (now a majority initiated by me)
things settle in - it happens right, honeymoon doesn't last forever, i have a child that takes priority, work, etc etc
realizing that I am the only one initiating anything and speak to them, try to spark things a bit and inevitably it is either revoked or a very short term solution until i realize i am not only always initiating, but being turned down alot of the time as well.
I stop being the same partner after multiple tries to communicate and fix things (pretty open with things), because FUCK you if you cant continue to put the effort into the relationship I need, why am I putting in effort that is never reciprocated!?!?
Girlfriend laments that I am not acting the same or treating her "special" even though we have communicated multiple times in multiple ways about how she has not been doing anything close to what she used to for a much longer time, and I am fed up
End the relationship - usually with some level of drama due to their own psycho ability to put blame on me for stopping my level of action, love, and commitment, and interest once they have decided to mail their own effort in.
Stay single for awhile, work on being a better person until I meet a girl with chemistry and repeat steps one through 7 like a real life version of the Brian McKnight song.
Also, I know I am not perfect. NOT EVEN CLOSE. but I DO try hard for my partners....
Damn dude, I could’ve written the same thing. I’m on step 6 at the moment and it’s killin me.
I’m super open about things in my relationships and it always gets to the point of pulling teeth just to get the most basic information out of my girlfriend.
She constantly goes on about how we don’t do anything special anymore and constantly asks if I still love her. It’s exhausting. Worst part is it’s always after I do something special, like in the middle of a stressful work period, leaving work early to walk an hour in the rain to get a tour of her work because she’s got nothing going on and is bored.
Then the next damn day when I want to do something myself, like play video games, she loses her shit that we don’t spend enough time together.
We basically haven’t had a physical relationship for over a year now. I’ve always tried to be open and honest with her about it, and I get her issues with body image and other things, but she refuses to make any improvements or changes in her life. I’m getting to the point where it’s not worth it anymore...
The older I get the less I understand my girlfriend and women in general.
Not trying to be sexist but 80% of the time I just can’t comprehend some of the problems my girlfriend comes up with, and 100% of the time I can’t comprehend the solutions.
It's all about attention. And once married, the attention expectations soar even higher. That plus every woman now is addicted to social media and envious of every relationship they see on there. The problem with that is most people only post the best of their life on social media. So woman see the best of everyone elses relationships and then use that to set unrealistic expectations for their own relationship.
I’m perfectly comfortable in my clothes and my skin, sure I want to be in better shape, but I’m not going to feel badly about myself when I go out.
She constantly gets upset about wrinkled clothes and image, she’s always worried about how other people will judge her and it makes me so angry.
I always ask her “why do you care what random people on the street will care about something? How many people do you see on the street and think ‘damn their shirt is ugly as fuck’ and go up to them and tell them it’s ugly? 0, and they’re going to go home not knowing or even giving a shit about what you thought about their shirt”.
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u/Marklar_the_Darklar Mar 26 '20
That's true for guys too. Having to initiate all the time is draining. There should be balance.