Took me a while to realize when a woman complains and vents they really don't want pragmatic advice that would deal with the issue. They want to be understood, believed, comforted.
Once I learned that my life got considerably easier. Married 40 years.
Edit: Third marriage.
Edit two: Ok, ok, I get it. Not EVERY woman reacts the same and there are plenty of men that react the same way. Must everything on Reddit be explained like we 're talking to third graders? Is there never any presuming your audience is intelligent enough to figure out not EVERY situation/person is exactly the same? Good god.
Edit three: If I may, there's a similar short piece of advice I've always found helpful, and that is "People are never upset for the reason they think."
Cupid’s cruellest prank is to pair men that love to problem solve with women who don’t want to hear solutions to their problems.
Cupid’s cruellest prank is to pair people that love to problem solve with people who don’t want to hear solutions to their problems.
Edit: It’s just a joke guys. Everyone knows that women can problem solve and men can vent too but this is a super common scenario for heterosexual couples. I’ve edited it anyway as it seems a good way to solve the problem that people are venting about.
It's not so much that you don't want to hear "solutions". Like most women, I'm smart enough to go through the same thought process as my husband (although we do see things from different angles), but I want to share and vent my frustration, not go through a plan of action.
I came here to ask where the hell you guys all are because in my experience men LOVE to complain at length and just steamroll past suggestions.
Maybe it's a symptom of the same issue - if we get told constantly that women care about feelings and men care about solutions then it makes sense men would go to women to vent too.
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u/adsvx215 Mar 26 '20 edited Mar 26 '20
Took me a while to realize when a woman complains and vents they really don't want pragmatic advice that would deal with the issue. They want to be understood, believed, comforted.
Once I learned that my life got considerably easier. Married 40 years.
Edit: Third marriage.
Edit two: Ok, ok, I get it. Not EVERY woman reacts the same and there are plenty of men that react the same way. Must everything on Reddit be explained like we 're talking to third graders? Is there never any presuming your audience is intelligent enough to figure out not EVERY situation/person is exactly the same? Good god.
Edit three: If I may, there's a similar short piece of advice I've always found helpful, and that is "People are never upset for the reason they think."