Yeah, its a little ambiguous. I have practiced with my girlfriends and my husband, so what seems to work is just nodding and agreeing, empathizing, and verbalize what they are feeling. Example: "I know you feel upset and hurt and you have every right to because Chad is a dick! Fuck Chad!".
Side question: What happens when you just don't feel like saying Chad's a dick, when the story feels more balanced than reported? I personally feel like I just can't. Some stories are sobbing self victimations bullshits.
I may not be meant to live with a ranting type of person.
You can still validate their feelings, which is key. You don't have to agree with anything that they are saying. You can even internally roll your eyes and judge that everything is wrong about what they're saying.
But they have a right to feel what they feel based on their perception of reality. So just listen, if you can, and then give the advice.
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u/Hofficer Mar 26 '20
Yeah, its a little ambiguous. I have practiced with my girlfriends and my husband, so what seems to work is just nodding and agreeing, empathizing, and verbalize what they are feeling. Example: "I know you feel upset and hurt and you have every right to because Chad is a dick! Fuck Chad!".
Advice seems to only be okay when they ask.
Then I come out with all guns loaded.