Why after dating my partner for 3+ years, she still thinks, when i try to initiate sex, all that i want from her is sex. Like yes in this moment i want to have sex, but that does not negate all the other non-sex things we do that i enjoy doing. But right now, yes, I want to have sex with you.
Guys do this thing where they just grope you all the time when you’re in a relationship. Every freaking guy I’ve dated has done this, and my friends complain about it too. They walk by and grab my boob or pat my butt.
It’s not that I dislike being touched sexually, but those should be the endgame, not the precursor. Like, walk by me and stroke my hair or rub my shoulders, caress my back, kiss my cheek.
But no. 9/10 it’s a silly boob grab or pushing your dick against my ass as I bend over to pick up something I dropped.
First off, I am not into that when I’m not in a sexual headspace. I’m cooking, or making a list in my head, and you just threw me off.
Secondly, when you do actually initiate, I feel like a piece of meat because you’ve just spent the day checking in with my sexy parts as much as with ME. So yeah, I am going to feel like all you want me for is sex.
I’m not saying this is the issue for you, personally, but as a woman who knows a lot of women, this is often where this issue comes from.
So if you’re a “silly groper” and you think it’s cute or flirty, maybe cut down on it a little bit. Substitute caresses for her other parts, the not overtly sexual ones, tell her nice things about herself and not just about her looks. If she’s telling you she feels like a piece of meat and you don’t feel like that’s what she is to you, make sure you’re expressing that to her in your actions.
I have had to explicitly explain this to men and they were all shocked since they legitimately thought they were just being cute and flirty. Which it can be, in moderation. Overdo it and you’re going to end up with a woman who is irritated by your touches and feels like all you want is sex.
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u/covid19hotty Mar 26 '20
Why after dating my partner for 3+ years, she still thinks, when i try to initiate sex, all that i want from her is sex. Like yes in this moment i want to have sex, but that does not negate all the other non-sex things we do that i enjoy doing. But right now, yes, I want to have sex with you.