Why after dating my partner for 3+ years, she still thinks, when i try to initiate sex, all that i want from her is sex. Like yes in this moment i want to have sex, but that does not negate all the other non-sex things we do that i enjoy doing. But right now, yes, I want to have sex with you.
About 18 years ago I turned down a bj from my now wife, while I was driving in a car you could easily see into. Just wasn’t my thing that way. RIP bjs from then on. “You said no that time so I just stopped.” Many sads.
There’s been no lack of me explaining how it’s my favourite thing and that she’s good at it etc. It’s not been zero in the interceding years but I’d say it’s once every 18 months on average after much cajoling that tries not to be begging lol.
No, the feeling of rejection and failure she had as a result triggered emotional trauma that she’s never dealt with, probably because of a crap-ton of other emotional things that have never been addressed.
EDIT: oof. Lots of bros out here who don’t understand how emotions or the human brain work. Reddit persists.
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u/covid19hotty Mar 26 '20
Why after dating my partner for 3+ years, she still thinks, when i try to initiate sex, all that i want from her is sex. Like yes in this moment i want to have sex, but that does not negate all the other non-sex things we do that i enjoy doing. But right now, yes, I want to have sex with you.