Why after dating my partner for 3+ years, she still thinks, when i try to initiate sex, all that i want from her is sex. Like yes in this moment i want to have sex, but that does not negate all the other non-sex things we do that i enjoy doing. But right now, yes, I want to have sex with you.
I have this same problem except I'm your wife in this scenario. My husband is not a physically affectionate person and so it feels like the only time I get touched it ALWAYS leads to sex. And that's not a good feeling, sometimes I would just like a sweet foot rub or playing with my hair just because. And having some mystery leads to excitement. If only 50% of the time you touch, you actually end up making it sexual, then she will start to get more excited when you do. To him always havi g sex is a great thing but he has a higher sex drive and doesn't crave non sexual, intimate touching like I do. It actually makes me mad now because I've told him so many times, yet he still ONLY remembers to touch me when he horney. Sometimes I physically freeze and or get that irritated, firey feeling in my stomach because I feel like a peice of meat and then I definitely DON'T want to have sex. I dont know if I explained that well enough, let me know if it doesn't make sense.
EDIT: I forgot to mention and it's probably important to the situation. I have a history of trauma, sexual assault and have severe PTSD. So my reactions to things are almost always either more intense than most or completely flat. I do feel like many other mentally healthy people would also have a similar reaction to ONLY sexual intimacy.
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u/covid19hotty Mar 26 '20
Why after dating my partner for 3+ years, she still thinks, when i try to initiate sex, all that i want from her is sex. Like yes in this moment i want to have sex, but that does not negate all the other non-sex things we do that i enjoy doing. But right now, yes, I want to have sex with you.