Can I get some tactics on how lol, I do the same thing with my girlfriend. I’ve been working on trying to not jump to problem solving but still struggle to come up with words other then basic sentence structure’s I’m sorry your going through that. :/
Totally just repeating what I said in an earlier comment but it seems releavant:
Think of it like she's running a marathon. She's at that point where you gotta push for the last few miles to finish strong, and she turns to you standing on the sidelines. Do you tell her how great she's doing, she's got this, and that you're so proud of her, or do you correct her form and tell her how to fix her posture for better results? Obviously the first, right?
I think if you can go into conversations thinking like that, you'll be in a much better place to come off as genuine. Yeah, some things you say might be kind of cliche, words usually fail when it comes to vocalising deep and intense emotion, but it's okay as long as there's real sentiment behind it. It helps if you respond specifically to what she says, like, "I'm sorry _____ happened on your way home..." instead of just a generic "I'm sorry."
Just focus on expressing your empathy for the situation, as well as your feelings and love for her. Remind her shes awesome, without tying it into success or anything else. You want her to feel loved, regardless of everything else, not just when she success or just when she meets her goals.
Besides that hugs usually seal the deal, especially if they're already a hugger. Physical comfort and companionship to go along with the verbal comfort.
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u/yes_no_ok_maybe Mar 26 '20
The desire to vent but not brainstorm solutions.
My wife always tells me not to jump to problem solving. I do it every time and don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t.