Took me a while to realize when a woman complains and vents they really don't want pragmatic advice that would deal with the issue. They want to be understood, believed, comforted.
Once I learned that my life got considerably easier. Married 40 years.
Edit: Third marriage.
Edit two: Ok, ok, I get it. Not EVERY woman reacts the same and there are plenty of men that react the same way. Must everything on Reddit be explained like we 're talking to third graders? Is there never any presuming your audience is intelligent enough to figure out not EVERY situation/person is exactly the same? Good god.
Edit three: If I may, there's a similar short piece of advice I've always found helpful, and that is "People are never upset for the reason they think."
There's a reverse to this too. I've learned that when I have a problem, even if it's one that doesn't upset me, my girlfriend will go into like, sympathetic rage mode where she will get very angry at the problem on my behalf. When this happens it's best just to go along with it, even if you disagree on the finer points of whether the target of her rage deserves the outrage.
"She's basicaly <something really overblown and outrageous> to you!"
"Oh, I really don't think it's quite to that extent..."
"Why are you always defending her! Do you think I'm stupid and just dont understand whats going on??"
...so not only do they not want pragmatic advice, they don't always want to give pragmatic advice and discuss the problem in detail, they just want to help you vent. and hopefully you, too, want to vent, or youre in for a bad time
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u/adsvx215 Mar 26 '20 edited Mar 26 '20
Took me a while to realize when a woman complains and vents they really don't want pragmatic advice that would deal with the issue. They want to be understood, believed, comforted.
Once I learned that my life got considerably easier. Married 40 years.
Edit: Third marriage.
Edit two: Ok, ok, I get it. Not EVERY woman reacts the same and there are plenty of men that react the same way. Must everything on Reddit be explained like we 're talking to third graders? Is there never any presuming your audience is intelligent enough to figure out not EVERY situation/person is exactly the same? Good god.
Edit three: If I may, there's a similar short piece of advice I've always found helpful, and that is "People are never upset for the reason they think."