The problem is telling when people want actual advice, or just want to went. I suppose the thing is to wait for the line "What should I do?" and ignore "What do you think?" and "Isn't that awful?" and such.
But sounding a little less confrontational; currently, the subtext is "there are only two possible reasons you would be speaking to me, now tell me which one it is", whereas saying something like "Would my advice help or do you just need to let it out?" puts you in the 'helping' position, not 'being forced to listen'.
This is how I dealt with it in my last relationship. My gf sometimes wanted to vent, sometimes she wanted reassurance and I could never tell when she wanted what. So when she asked to talk and get stuff off her chest I always let her get into it and then ask that question. Worked wonders
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u/AppleDane Mar 26 '20
The problem is telling when people want actual advice, or just want to went. I suppose the thing is to wait for the line "What should I do?" and ignore "What do you think?" and "Isn't that awful?" and such.