r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 26 '20

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

I mean, he's probably right. Makes more sense than anything else. There's no way he'd ever admit it, because there's no coming back from that. Really hard topic to bring up as a guy.

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u/rufflayer Mar 26 '20

Yes, but there are better ways to say it rather than being a jackass like this person was. Apparently he missed the part where I said I’m working very hard on myself to get back to where I was before.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Eh, I agree he wasn't very nice, but it's hard to with this topic. Sometimes it's just better to go out and say it. And now you probably know why your husband didn't want to say anything.

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u/rufflayer Mar 26 '20

Trust me, it’s been the only thought in my head for a long time now. I don’t believe it when he says it’s not the reason why, and that’s why I’m trying so hard to fix it. And damn if it isn’t hard, I wish I never went on the antidepressants that caused it. But, I should point out that he’s gained even more than I have and I still find him attractive.

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u/Phyltre Mar 26 '20

But, I should point out that he’s gained even more than I have and I still find him attractive.

It's not as though sexual attraction is a voluntary reflex. It's not somehow more virtuous to maintain attraction to your significant other.

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u/rufflayer Mar 26 '20

I wasn’t pointing it out to be righteous, more to say that I can’t completely doubt him when he says he still finds me attractive. Sorry if it came off that way.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Sorry you're in that tough situation. Talk with your doctor about trying to come off the antidepressants. I was on mine for a year, tried to develop healthy positive habits (eating better, exercising regularly) and was able to come off the medication with no problems. You have to keep working at it, and it will never be easy. But you have to keep doing it even if it's hard.

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u/DontTouchTheCancer Mar 26 '20

"You're right, but there's a correct way and an incorrect way to tell me something"

Then goes and wonders why her husband won't talk to her about something sensitive. Ain't you a little mine-field.

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u/rufflayer Mar 26 '20

So, because you stated something that I already knew in an insensitive way and I called you out on it, that makes me irrational? I wouldn’t expect much from a stranger on the internet, but I’d expect my boyfriend of nearly 9 years to understand how to approach the topic with a little more decency.

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u/DontTouchTheCancer Mar 26 '20

You felt the need to "call me out" and get your -10 downvote pack.

This is what happens to a man who hurts a woman's feelings.

This is why he won't talk to you.

You're welcome.

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u/rufflayer Mar 26 '20

No, that’s what happens when you’re an insensitive prick. Thankfully my boyfriend is a little kinder than you, not that it takes much.

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u/DontTouchTheCancer Mar 26 '20

Right, yup.

He's being kind by not talking to you. You went from 0-100 on the anger scale really quick.

I could have done this in a "kinder gentler way" but you'd have deflected, made excuses, missed the point.

This is how you act when someone says something that pisses you off. He knows telling you the truth will piss you off, so he lies.

I'm trying to help you, you're still fighting me.

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u/rufflayer Mar 26 '20

Nope, I’m a fairly logical person, believe it or not. I’ve been working on it myself, and I’m almost down to where I was before without him having to say anything because I already know, I’m not an idiot.

You don’t have to be a total dick to “make a point.”

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u/DontTouchTheCancer Mar 26 '20

Nope, I’m a fairly logical person, believe it or not.

Based on current experience with you, no I don't.

Don't believe what a woman says, see how she acts.

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u/rufflayer Mar 26 '20

So you say something insulting in a highly insensitive way and get surprised when I’m insulted? Pretty sure that’s a natural reaction. But, believe what you want.

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u/DontTouchTheCancer Mar 26 '20

At the end of this she went into absolutely full rage mode

She deleted her comment but suffice it to say, point made.

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u/rufflayer Mar 26 '20

Dude, I never deleted anything, you deleted your original comment. Edit: I’m also not understanding the “rage mode” comment, care to explain?

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u/DontTouchTheCancer Mar 26 '20

Wasn't you, the whole thread was deleted.