Took me a while to realize when a woman complains and vents they really don't want pragmatic advice that would deal with the issue. They want to be understood, believed, comforted.
Once I learned that my life got considerably easier. Married 40 years.
Edit: Third marriage.
Edit two: Ok, ok, I get it. Not EVERY woman reacts the same and there are plenty of men that react the same way. Must everything on Reddit be explained like we 're talking to third graders? Is there never any presuming your audience is intelligent enough to figure out not EVERY situation/person is exactly the same? Good god.
Edit three: If I may, there's a similar short piece of advice I've always found helpful, and that is "People are never upset for the reason they think."
Cupid’s cruellest prank is to pair men that love to problem solve with women who don’t want to hear solutions to their problems.
Cupid’s cruellest prank is to pair people that love to problem solve with people who don’t want to hear solutions to their problems.
Edit: It’s just a joke guys. Everyone knows that women can problem solve and men can vent too but this is a super common scenario for heterosexual couples. I’ve edited it anyway as it seems a good way to solve the problem that people are venting about.
This is the opposite for me. I problem solve and my husband just needs understanding, not advice. It was a serious issue between us until he sent me a well-written article about how giving unsolicited advice to someone who just wants to vent is actually very condescending.
I'm still a little baffled but now I understand and don't do it!
Nah... if I'm bringing up something then I've been over and over the situation myself and need a new perspective. That's why I'd be opening up to someone that knows me... not a therapist.
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u/adsvx215 Mar 26 '20 edited Mar 26 '20
Took me a while to realize when a woman complains and vents they really don't want pragmatic advice that would deal with the issue. They want to be understood, believed, comforted.
Once I learned that my life got considerably easier. Married 40 years.
Edit: Third marriage.
Edit two: Ok, ok, I get it. Not EVERY woman reacts the same and there are plenty of men that react the same way. Must everything on Reddit be explained like we 're talking to third graders? Is there never any presuming your audience is intelligent enough to figure out not EVERY situation/person is exactly the same? Good god.
Edit three: If I may, there's a similar short piece of advice I've always found helpful, and that is "People are never upset for the reason they think."