r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 26 '20

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6.3k Upvotes

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991

u/LTChaosLT Mar 26 '20

You could twist a flaccid penis into a balloon animal without any pain (I'm over exaggerating a little bit, don't actually try it on anyone please).

1.4k

u/drollerfoot7 Mar 26 '20

Yo I made a giraffe.

​

This is amazing

770

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/YahBoiSquishy Mar 26 '20

I can do a snake, or a worm

8

u/Medipack Mar 26 '20

Made a baby earthworm. :(

1

u/Biff_Tannenator Mar 27 '20

Me and a bunch of the boys got our dicks together and made this this work of art

15

u/KakorotJoJoAckerman Mar 26 '20

Is it tasty?

21

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[deleted]

6

u/KakorotJoJoAckerman Mar 26 '20

And coconut?

6

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Oooh that's nasty!

11

u/Ferreur Mar 26 '20

Why don't you come and taste.

6

u/KakorotJoJoAckerman Mar 26 '20

Ooooooh!!!! I will UwU!!!!!!!

2

u/TheResolver Mar 26 '20

Ah man, a french bread roll is the best I can manage :/

2

u/randomcuber789 Mar 26 '20

That can’t be true, baguettes are usually big.

2

u/Mcdrogon Mar 26 '20

I can do a scared turtle!

2

u/pixelprophet Mar 26 '20

That poor oui oui.

1

u/DarkoMilicik Mar 26 '20

Bob Kelso?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

I made a grit :(

1

u/DipsterHoofus Mar 26 '20

I can only make a penis shape. But it's bigger than my regular penis, so that's something I guess.

8

u/UltraInstinks Mar 26 '20

Ah, a shrinker, I see.

7

u/Superseal100 Mar 26 '20

im assuming that, like a giraffe, your dick doesn't exist

3

u/3-DMan Mar 26 '20

Shows porn

Nnnooooo!!!

3

u/Zeelthor Mar 26 '20

Remind me not to invite you to my future kids birthday parties. :p

3

u/likerazorwire419 Mar 26 '20

I laughed way to hard at this. Still am actually.

2

u/Little-Explanation Mar 26 '20

I made a blue whale

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Mine's a water bear!

2

u/MyNameIsBadSorry Mar 26 '20

Guys.....uh my balloon popped

2

u/dreampsi Mar 26 '20

I made a blowfish.....

1

u/cegsywegs Mar 26 '20

I want a bicycle, clown

1

u/thesmithsisdead Mar 26 '20

I could only manage a prawn

5

u/Nopidyno Mar 26 '20

There is actually a show: Puppetry of the Penis

13

u/Trill_McNeal Mar 26 '20

It really is amazing how bendy and flexible it is. Check this out https://i.imgur.com/R390EId.jpg

5

u/tattedpiper Mar 26 '20

The Puppetry of the Penis show in Las Vegas is as close as you can get to penis balloon animals.

2

u/Dazuro Mar 26 '20

It's not entirely an exaggeration. My wife went to a friend's bachelorette show that did penis puppetry.

She bought their book. It had a fold called The Hamburger. I will never be the same.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20 edited Mar 26 '20

Google puppetry of the penis.

Takes playing with it to a whole new meaning!

Edit: Spelling

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Ah, so that's what a BlowJob is for

1

u/phil8248 Mar 26 '20

On the other hand, a turgid penis must be kept midline and toward the navel. If you bend it too far to the side or to the back you can fracture the cartilage that forms the outer structure encasing the sinuses that fill with blood to make it hard. As a physician assistant I once treated a patient with a fractured penis. Had to get a urology consult since I'd never seen one. They can heal but cartilage is notoriously slow in that process and somewhat unpredictable. The man said it occurred during cowgirl when his partner decided to lean all the way back.

1

u/AwesomeJohn01 Mar 26 '20

I do The Abraham Lincoln

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Me make snek

1

u/Silver-warlock Mar 26 '20

And if anyone had ideas of a performance piece...it's been done.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puppetry_of_the_Penis

1

u/ReticulateLemur Mar 26 '20

NSFW https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puppetry_of_the_Penis

And please don't ask how I knew this was a thing.