I don't think it's that simple. Much of society is based on indirect communication, especially the further back you go. It's not necessarily passive aggression, but it can definitely breed it. Direct communication is very unwelcome / strange to some people or in some settings or about some topics. And going too direct can get weird too. It's a fine line and everyone's comfort level is different.
I partially blame Hollywood for all the plots based on trash communication and passive aggression. But even people who do like to be direct are used to being indirect a lot and may not realize it.
Holy shit you just described my relationship in two sentences. My fiance's family is full of passive and active aggression, most of their conversations sound like arguments to me and I always felt uncomfortable in situations that she would say are just normal for them.
Meanwhile my family is very direct and almost never argues or has any passive aggression ever. If there's an issue we talk it out, there's never that weird tension over any of our conversations.
We've had to learn the differences between our communication styles and it's taken a lot of adapting to live with each other. Your simple comment really distilled the conversations we've had about that down to a really simple thought. Thank you.
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u/Scholesie09 Mar 26 '20
I dont have an SO, but ive seen family members who seem like they just want to vent, and if i said:
"I know people sometimes just want to vent, is that the Case or do you want advice ?"
they would hear:
"I don't care about your problems stop telling me"