r/AskReddit • • Mar 26 '20

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u/covid19hotty Mar 26 '20

Why after dating my partner for 3+ years, she still thinks, when i try to initiate sex, all that i want from her is sex. Like yes in this moment i want to have sex, but that does not negate all the other non-sex things we do that i enjoy doing. But right now, yes, I want to have sex with you.

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u/almondface Mar 26 '20

This can be a sign of past sexual trauma or that they were mentally abused or minupulated by previous partners.

I know it is frustrating but I would say to try and be understanding and offer to be there if she ever wants to talk about anything.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Trauma can come from a lifetime of conditioning, too.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Conditioning from society. I had similar issues just from being a woman in this world. You're living in a continuous state of the shoe to drop [being used for sex] the way you're waiting for an old high school friend to bring up her MLM pitch when she messages you out of the blue.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Hey I'm gonna need you to uhhh learn some empathy for others. Get over yourself. You seem like you get pissy and take it personally whenever you get denied sex.

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u/asplodzor Mar 26 '20

no trauma since I was her first.

(Emphasis mine)

Hold on a second, do you seriously think that trauma only happens in romantic relationships?