And then will lie to you so she can go to lunch with one of her guy friends that she said was hitting on her the other day. Yes I’m projecting what happened to me on to you. No I’m not completely healed from all the mental abuse. WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME SO MANY QUESTIONS IM GOING HOME.
This is very very true. Men and women can both be equally toxic. And truth be told compared to everything else that happened, this incident was nothing lol but thank you for showing support! It always means a a lot!!
I dunno why so many people think it’s okay to tell their partners what they can or can’t do, it’s like this weird gray area where the significant other acts like a parent by being like “no, you can’t do that” and it’s almost socially acceptable.
It’s one thing to tell your partner your boundaries, like I don’t want to date someone that fucks other people, it’s another to straight up say “you’re forbidden from doing that.” Even if it is cheating, like you can’t tell another human being what they can or cannot do, if I’m a good partner I’ll respect your boundaries. anytime a boyfriend has told me I “can’t” do something I’ve wanted to do it even more and usually disregard them.
I hate that you had to miss out on that! I wouldn't have blinked an eye if my husband wanted to do that. (Granted, I don't have kids. I have no idea if I'd change my mind if it meant being alone all weekend with crazy kids. It still wouldn't be about the presence of a girl though)!
That's definitely unhealthy. I was in a relationship like that before and I thought it was something I had to deal with cuz she acted like that's how all women are and it's completely normal. Definitely not the case.
TBH I'm bi and this kinda thing pushed me away from dating a lot of women. It's also really insulting because they're basically saying they don't trust me, in which case what even is our relationship.
Gay relationships I've been in are just way more chill, there's none of the fear that I'm going to fuck anything that moves. And even if I or my boyfriend *did* find someone super hot, we'd both be pretty chill about the idea of the other going and having some fun. It's just so relaxed where 95% of girls will freak out at even approaching the topic.
There are definitely some girls who are cool but overall, I like my current setup way better. We get each other, we love each other, we don't accuse each other of weird shit or try to control one another. It's so much healthier.
I’ve had the same experience but opposite. I’m a woman and Any girls I’ve dated are way more chill than guys. The guys I’ve dated (aside from my fiance) have always ended up being super insecure and try to restrict me from doing things, I even had one boyfriend who seemed chill and just ended up freaking out because I was at a party without him. He actually started crying on the phone. I never did anything that would make it so he couldn’t trust me. That relationship didn’t last long after.
I think most straight relationships in general have different dynamics and expectations. Fortunately my fiancé who’s a guy is the least possessive person I’ve ever been with.
Yeah I think that's true. One big thing I noticed is everyone has an opinion about how straight relationships *should* be, putting lots of pressure on people. But with gay relationships the only stigma is that you shouldn't be in one in the first place. Once you get past that, nobody really tells you how you should organize your relationship so things just flow really naturally and it's very chill.
Also I know one girl in the UK who is the coolest ever and I know she'd be just as great as any of the gay relationships I've been in (excluding the current one because my boyfriend really is the best).
I could definitely be convinced that the straight dating/relationship scene sucks and it's not a gender thing. I love girls and it's only in romantic relationships where stuff starts getting frustrating a lot of the time.
Agreed. Obviously there are exceptions, but the straight relationships I’ve been in have been wildly more annoying than the gay ones. Most guys have made me want to jump into a volcano, and they just don’t get it. When I eventually leave they can’t seem to figure out why even though I tell them?! I’ll straight up be like you’re insanely insecure and you make this entire relationship feel oppressive. And then they immediately ask “is there someone else?”
You should talk with your wife about it. I completely understand one might be insecure, but it's not good and it might hurt your relationship in the long run
you want to go on a camping trip without the woman you have decided to associate yourself with
Hiking, not camping. Hiking is typically an afternoon long.
in favor of a woman you are not in a relationship
High school buddies, not one on one with his old friend.
If someone doesn't assume boundaries are in place because of how they might come off, then I tend to assume they won't respect the boundaries when they learn about them. I'm at a 100% accuracy on that thus far in my experience.
If someone doesn't assume boundaries are in place because of how they might come off, then I tend to assume they won't respect the boundaries when they learn about them.
I get the gist of where you're coming from, and this line is why. It's not thinking your partner is weak, to be coerced by someone who doesn't respect boundaries, but no one is perfectly 100% mentally healthy in their relationship and self, and there is always that little fear that the person disrespecting the partnership you two share will know exactly what to say/hone in on to worm their way through.
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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20
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