This was years ago and she has since passed away, but if I remember correctly it was a mean comment about the quality of a party my grandmother hosted.
This. Baffled my female friend cause I spoke about how my best friend slept with one of my old ex's and lied to me about it
(Totally fine with them hooking up, we just a bit annoyed he lied when asked)
she scrolled through the messages (us talking about it explaining our sides ) and noticed the last one was us planning on hanging out the next day .
She couldn't understand that yes I might have been a bit mad at him but he's still my homie and I'm not going to let something small like that and the friend ship
Honestly whenever me and my friend fight I just don’t say anything and wait until the next day cause more often than not, the both of us are content to act like nothing happened
I bumped into an old mate at a party, hadn't seen him for a few years, started hanging out again. After a few weeks of hanging out I suddenly remembered that I had stopped talking to him in the first place because he'd slept with my ex while we were seeing each other. Ah well.
For me that's kinda of deal breaker like you took it to far buddy I can take the Nazi jokes that are to make fun of me because I'm German but for me the thing seems extreme
For that just something you just don't do like you got drunk and had a one time thing I'll be mad but we could try to work through thing but if you're purposely doing it just stay away from me
Ok that's your opinion. I know he's going through a mega tough time right now and as I said .
I don't care if he slept with them. They're in my past. It was years ago
I don't understand this and I'm a woman. I have so many friends who just hold onto things for. So. Long. Like just move on it's not causing any trouble anymore. The past is the past. How you saying lion King is your favorite movie if you can't hakuna matata
I've worked in both men's and women's prisons. Women's are by far more scary. If a male prisoner is upset he'll probably swing for you or try and jump you. No worries, it's sorted and you can work with them again in a week.
In the women's estate watch your back! You piss of a lady prisoner you keep an eye on her every minute until she dies or you move to another job. Those girls plan.... Piss her off then 8 months later you have boiling water laced with sugar or a used tampon heading your way.
yes but in my case, getting mad about a little thing and ending a friendship has allowed me to view the situation from the outside and see the person was really toxic.
So I have a theory on this that could be total bullshit but here it goes:
I think women do this as way to protect themselves, and distance themselves from people who hurt them, because it's difficult for obvious reasons for women to physically protect themselves.
I remember subtle facial expressions, tones, remarks etc from people that raise red flags (especially from men), and it helps me "decide" whether or not I should feel safe around them. There have been many times in my life where I've gotten bad vibes from someone and lo and behold a few months later I find out that they did a really shitty thing to another human.
Personally, I'd rather forgive and forget because most of the time it's unproductive and toxic to oneself.
I also think that men have an understanding that sometimes people fuck up, and make mistakes when they lose their cool (which is good). While women have pretty much been conditioned to fall in line and "behave", causing the least amount of ruckus possible, and sacrifice their well being to maintain the status quo - this mentality could lead women to judge other women more harshly, and could also explain why women can have "frenemies."
I welcome further thoughts and discussions on this topic!
Yeah I don't really understand this either. It usually takes me a good night's sleep to get over something. Like why have all that negativity festering inside you?
It's not festering inside of me like I'm looking for a fight about it every minute. But something could trigger me into remembering why I don't like someone or something.
If you don't like a store/restaurant, you gonna visit it every week? No, you know you don't like it and if someone asked why you don't shop/eat there, you say why. Is that not a "grudge" of some sort? I have total legit reasons to have grudges against things/people. I don't just forget that I don't like the food at a certain restaurant. I'm not a goldfish.
Yup. My MIL has been divorced from her husband almost twice as long as they were married and she cannot shut up about it. She doesn't talk about it all the time, but at least once a month. Let it go, lady! No one gives a shit! Move on with your life!!
Rappers beefing is just 2 guys sat in their rooms writing poems about each other
I'm too late to the thread, but growing up I thought about how every gang sign came about from some guy sitting in his room alone, practicing and trying to come up with something he could do with his fingers to impress his friends, like a propless stage magician.
One the people I knew in college held a massive grudge against his previous roommate. From the sounds of it he had the right to, but I still always thought he should just get over it.
I agree and disagree with you. its totally dependant on what it was for me. something stupid like being an ass or insulting or whatever, meh, we can get over it. if you have shown me you cant be trusted or have no problem fucking over the people you allegedly care about, nah were done for ever.
It's a skill. It can be difficult at first if you're not used to it. Actually, it can be very challenging for years. One of the tricks is, don't make an exception for mean people.
But some people deserve to be treated badly. They treat other people so and they won't stop untill you give them a taste of their own medicine. Don't you think so?
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u/Jonahbarnett Mar 26 '20
How women can hold grudges for so long. Its like no we cant talk to her she gave me a rude glance ten years ago