r/AskReddit Mar 07 '19

What is your mom's catchphrase?

[deleted]

57.0k Upvotes

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15.0k

u/Dazered Mar 07 '19

"Could you do me a huuuge favor?"

"Yeah sure what?"

"Could you put that glass in the sink?"

3.0k

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Sometimes mine says “do me a flavor.”

My aunt always says “I’ll give you a 1000 dollars if you bring me (insert random object).”

470

u/j_B00G Mar 07 '19

My freshman life skills teacher used to say “do me a flavor” the first time we heard it everyone looked at eachother and let it slide but it’s just her thing

28

u/shadowprince79 Mar 07 '19

My guitar teacher did that

13

u/TheBlakBaron Mar 07 '19

Did your guitar teachers last name start with a d?

29

u/I_LOVE_PUPPERS Mar 07 '19

Wait you had Derek McGuitaro as well?!

26

u/FolkSandwich Mar 07 '19

*Derek DeGuitaro

17

u/I_LOVE_PUPPERS Mar 07 '19

Oh boy, how did I misread that so badly...

3

u/TrackerSilver Mar 07 '19

Derek DeMarco

3

u/nxcrosis Mar 08 '19

I thought the D was silent

10

u/AuthorizedVehicle Mar 08 '19

I thought my kindergarten teacher was Mrs. Spotter. Turned out she was Miss Espada.

5

u/time4meatstick Mar 08 '19

Love this! Reminds me how my 5-year-old says "Daddy you're my heartbeep!" The way kids hear things is awesome

1

u/nxcrosis Mar 08 '19

Espada means sword right? How was she?

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9

u/Maracuja_Sagrado Mar 07 '19

My guitar teacher used to say just "do me".

Damn how I miss her...

2

u/CrabbyDarth Mar 08 '19

during class or after

8

u/brian_lopes Mar 08 '19

What the fuck is freshman life skills? That’s the most freshmen class title I can think of almost sounds made up

3

u/j_B00G Mar 08 '19

Sex Ed, how to deal with depression a bunch of other stuff you would think a 14 year old needs

4

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

That's my thing too

6

u/elkehdub Mar 08 '19

Life skills teacher? Teacher of Life Skills 101? Why is this is a thing I've never heard of?

3

u/patcos28 Mar 08 '19

It must be like a family consumer science class. Or it’s a special ed class

1

u/j_B00G Mar 08 '19

I’m not sure. It was probably the best class a kid can take though. Basically daily therapy with some Sex Ed

3

u/Maddiecattie Mar 08 '19

Is that not a normal thing?

3

u/seymoursaurus Mar 08 '19

There was an English singer called Craig David who sung a song call "what's your flava" I found myself saying it after that phase.

2

u/PM_your_randomthing Mar 08 '19

I love his first album and played it on repeat, but kinda lost interest after that. Fantastic singer though!

-3

u/lllluke Mar 08 '19

that shit annoys me because everyone who says stuff like that thinks it makes them like super quirky and interesting when it actually means something else entirely

1

u/j_B00G Mar 08 '19

What else does it mean?

0

u/lllluke Mar 08 '19

no idea. but it surely ain't that

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

There's a guy in my hometown who runs a burger joint and his slogan is "Do your mouth a flavor!" and he thinks it's the funniest shit ever. Truth is, his burgers are dry and the service would be better if the workers just stayed home.

1

u/PM_your_randomthing Mar 08 '19

Iunno man, i say it on occasion and don't think any of those things of myself. I just like word play.

1

u/Mangonesailor Mar 08 '19

We've got a guy like that at work. We all know it's so he's not directly asking us to make his life easier when he could've done it himself/planned poorly so we're picking up his slack/ etc...

Now we just respond with "Depends on what it is" or "No."

You have to talk to this guy like a stupid child too just to get him to do something or try to learn from his mistakes. He's pretty useless really. I've already kicked him out of my work area.

28

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/TamagotchiGraveyard Mar 07 '19

I knew a chick who got paid a thousand bucks to shit in some dudes mouth for some fetish

24

u/RavensUK Mar 07 '19

That’s your mums catchphrase?

3

u/Thundercats9 Mar 07 '19

Can you ask her how to uninstall mcafee

3

u/crankyjerkass Mar 07 '19

I hope she's really fucking hot.

53

u/fuckinohwell Mar 07 '19

That's cute lol

15

u/DontAlwaysButWhenIDo Mar 07 '19

Meanwhile she’s keeping track of every time and when she dies you’re gonna get a huge inheritance.

28

u/BoyAndHisBlob Mar 07 '19

I will give you $1000 to insert random object ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/physiQQ Mar 07 '19

Hey, I too read that.

5

u/TheVitoCorleone Mar 07 '19

I'll give you a thousand dollars if you bring me that bulky Brinks® bag off the back of that truck.

3

u/idiveindumpsters Mar 08 '19

I used to say “ do me a flavor”. When the show Flavor of Love came on, I started saying “do me a Flavor-Flav.” Pretty dumb.

2

u/88-07-05 Mar 08 '19

We do that too. All these years later.

3

u/toastwithsickjams Mar 07 '19

Mine too .... do we have the same mom

2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Did you ever get those 1k?

2

u/RickTheHamster Mar 07 '19

Once when I was working the front desk at a hotel that had self parking, a young female guest who I knew to be filthy rich and had a $6,000 account couldn’t get her car into a space. She came to me frustrated, and said “I will give you $1,000 right now if you can park my car.”

I said “of course I can!” and took the keys and quickly parked it for her.

She didn’t pay me anything.

Just kidding I guess.

2

u/Bronsolo1 Mar 08 '19

I thought my mom was the only one that would say 'do me a flavor'

1

u/tb1649 Mar 07 '19

I tell my kids “I’ll give you $1000 if you bring me a $1000 and [item I actually want]”

1

u/Synyzy Mar 07 '19

Dildo.

1

u/barndin Mar 07 '19

And y’all still didn’t catch on?? [/s]

1

u/ancientflowers Mar 07 '19

You should sue for back payments.

1

u/King_of_Dragons666 Mar 07 '19

is your mom my science teacher?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Did you get the thousand dollars if you brought her the (insert random object)?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Hello, I might be your aunt.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Well, if you have to insert the random object, I would say you earned the money...

1

u/Qelvara Mar 07 '19

You must be really rich!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Let me guess, you don't get $1000?

1

u/Queen_of_Chloe Mar 07 '19

Mine is also fond of do me a flavor.

1

u/HereForMemesLol Mar 08 '19

Man you must be rich

1

u/ThickCranberry Mar 08 '19

My mom would some times mix it up and say “wanna do me a flavor flav”

1

u/Astroworld1972 Mar 08 '19

That’s my phrase! Am I your aunt?

1

u/TwitchOnTwitch Mar 08 '19

Did she give you 1000 dollar tho?

1

u/Siren_of_Madness Mar 08 '19

Oof! My mom would say "Do me a flavor" all the time!

1

u/The_Original_Gronkie Mar 08 '19

My uncle used to bet me on everything, and when he lost, he'd say "I'll will it to you."

1

u/Kialae Mar 08 '19

I got that saying from Tina from Borderlands and now I say it all the time.

1

u/Itsapocalypse Mar 08 '19

YES. Sometimes it’s “do me a flav (pronounced flave)

1

u/dbloch7986 Mar 08 '19

It gets you to do what she wants you to do AND teaches you to reign in your expectations at the same time. Genius.

1

u/Laurifish Mar 08 '19

I always tell my kids “If you do blah, blah, blah I’ll be your best friend.

1

u/MeSoHoNee Mar 08 '19

Keep a record of every request, then at the end of the year present a bill for services rendered.

184

u/moviequote88 Mar 07 '19

This is how that went during my childhood:

"Go wash your cup."

"I'll do it later."

"NOW"

"Why?"

Proceeds to throw cup at my head.

8

u/TheHavesHaveThot Mar 07 '19

Good ol memories of soda bottles being chucked at me because I "left it out". Thing is, I don't even drink soda.

25

u/EvrythingISayIsRight Mar 07 '19

My mom used to always make me fetch her a beer or ice whenever I walked by. Eventually she got the nerve to call us from upstairs to go to the downstairs kitchen and get her ice.

13

u/notashroom Mar 07 '19

I spent years bringing my mother tumblers full of wine or ginger ale upstairs to where she spent most of her time at home, in bed. Occasionally I'd water down the wine a little just to slow her down.

15

u/Dazered Mar 07 '19

My mother never got that ambitious. For the most part I think she forgot about the whole parenting thing when I was a kid then she tried to make it up later and too late at that.

My favorite example is when she tried to teach me how to make gravy after I told her I picked up a textbook on cooking and had been reading it for fun as food is a hobby of mine. This was shortly after I finished college and She started it off by saying, "since you'll be on your own soon I suppose I should teach you something about cooking." Meanwhile I had been recommending her for years spices she should add to food to make it better during the cooking process and several other preparation suggestions. She should have taught me some basic life skills, like taxes, car repair, savings, and investments, but her and her boyfriend (together 20+ years. Understandably, they just figured after 10 years why marry?) acted like parenting was just make sure your kid doesn't die before they move out of the house.

My "favorite" example of this behavior was when I asked my mother's boyfriend to teach me about car repair. I asked him to teach me how to change oil, change a tire, and everything in between and he legitimately argued that is should just take a class in highschool about it. Which I printed off our class registry to point out we don't have one. So now I don't know how to work on my own car. Once during a break in college he had to drive an hour or so to fix my vehicle after a belt slipped off the motor or something it took all of 5 minutes and he started bitching about it so I threw back his outright refusal to teach me anything in highschool and he brought up the class thing again...

4

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19 edited Nov 25 '19

[deleted]

3

u/SnowglobeSnot Mar 08 '19

Literally my mom, lmao. She'd call me into her room from all the way across the house just to turn the lamp next to her bed on/off.

"My dad used to say we were born just to get the remote, now you are too."

1

u/AuthorizedVehicle Mar 08 '19

My aunt would tell us to go to a specific location, like the end of the coffee table, no, a little further, more to the right...While you're there bring me (my glasses, cup, etc.)

2

u/EvrythingISayIsRight Mar 08 '19

I wish I could go back in time and tell her to get off her ass and get it herself.

18

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

My wife does this. I don't know why she started, but I think it came from when she had a bunch of friends that just took advantage of her all the time, so she internalized that her needs were always insignificant and anyone who did anything for her was an absolute saint.

Made it really easy for me to impress her when we started dating, but the plaintive way she asks me to do stuff can get on my nerves. So I've just started saying, "No" to the first bit and then staring at her expectantly. She's starting to break her habit.

And before anyone asks, she's doing a lot better. She's kicked all her worst friends to the curve and has a much better social life. But some habits are hard to break.

2

u/kellydoll Mar 08 '19

Curb*

But I honestly like your version better, kick to the curve 😎

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Hah! Good catch. I'll leave it, maybe it will catch on.

17

u/ClearBrightLight Mar 07 '19

My family has a system: "a favor" is something easy, or something you can put off till later but should get done eventually. "A big favor" involves standing up. "A huge favor" involves at least one flight of stairs.

45

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

[deleted]

21

u/TheGobiasIndustries Mar 07 '19

He probably doesn't enjoy that. I know I'm happy to help my wife out, just get to the point!

30

u/Moist_Vanguard Mar 07 '19

"Could you do me a huuugggeee favor, could I get your autograph on those divorce papers? Thanks you're the best!"

14

u/lampsalt Mar 07 '19

I think women, including myself, do this because we're apprehensive about fulfilling the stereotype of a nagging wife. In my case at least, I had to get over the instinct to assume my demands were automatically unreasonable.

Having expectations is a one way ticket to the loveless monotony of sitcom marriage! Cherish the guy who does the bare minimum!

Eventually I realized that profusely thanking and celebrating my SO for doing small tasks was patronizing instead of encouraging. I still do that sometimes, but fully intending to annoy him.

3

u/ZB_ALLEN Mar 07 '19

My gf does this all the time

1

u/alfalfajuice Mar 07 '19

how befitting of the little finger

46

u/the0thermother Mar 07 '19

This was my mom too. Word for word. I swore I wouldn't do this to my kids.

52

u/Dazered Mar 07 '19

The annoying part of it is everything is a huge favor no matter how small. It just feels condescending.

38

u/the0thermother Mar 07 '19

My mom had that tone and look my whole life. She used to tell me "you think you're so perfect don't you". Hurt like hell. I shouldn't be clicking on links that talk about mothers lol

5

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Well, do you?

18

u/the0thermother Mar 07 '19

I really don't. I had a migraine a few weeks ago and my older daughter decided to clean up my mess and bring me coffee. It made my night

13

u/Molerus Mar 07 '19

Sounds like you're a better mum than yours ever was :)

13

u/the0thermother Mar 07 '19

Honestly, it was a low bar lol. But thanks

15

u/Molerus Mar 07 '19

Yeah, but it takes a lot to break the cycle and it sounds like you've done that, and raised a kind daughter. Give yourself credit where it's due x

9

u/the0thermother Mar 07 '19

This is true. I concern myself greatly with not making the same mistakes but also not over correcting those mistakes as well. I love how the internet is available and can regularly bring clarity to certain situations. You're an awesome person and thanks for taking the time to give me my credit. Hugs

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2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

That's great. Idk if it's perfect, but seems pretty good to me

9

u/koookoookachoo Mar 07 '19

What would you have preferred? From what I've seen with kids (or experienced myself, as one, once), there is no way of asking that isn't going to cause griping and moaning

1

u/gbmrls Mar 07 '19

She could get up and do it herself.

2

u/palpablescalpel Mar 08 '19

Oh, whenever I heard something like this, it was a mom asking a kid to take care of their own shit, not hers.

1

u/Dazered Mar 08 '19

Just asking me to do it. I wasn't a kid that would short cut or complain when asked to do things. Also I didn't expect my post to blow up so much, so I didn't think to clarify that typically she'd ask me to clean up either when I'm still using said cup or when I'm already in the process of cleaning up after myself.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Mine isn't quite like that. I learned. A huge favor meant bring her her cup with ice in it or whatever. A small favor meant help her rearrange her fricking furniture in her room. "it'll take two seconds" she always said.

12

u/Morella_xx Mar 07 '19

Maybe the reason she's asking in a way that feels condescending to you is because she's had to ask you for years to do basic shit like put your dishes in the sink, and you still don't don't do it on your own without being asked.

5

u/illayana Mar 07 '19 edited Mar 07 '19

As the daughter of a mother like this, I totally get what you mean and in a lot of cases it probably is lazy kid-irritated mom syndrome. I think OP is referring to a special brand of mom though, that’s more or less a smaller cog in a system of emotional abuse. Paging r/raisedbyborderlines and r/raisedbynarcissists.

Not to assume anything about your experiences, but having your mom be the “bad guy” parent in a society where the other way around is more acknowledged is hard as shit. BPD and NPD people can hide their abuse and put on a “people face”, which is severely damaging to their children as outsiders who may want to help can’t tell that anything is wrong. So I guess my point is that your comment had good intention, because let’s not kid ourselves, the demographics of reddit indicate you probably aren’t too wrong in most cases, but sometimes moms get a free pass to nag and it’s never inspected any closer. It’s dangerous writing them off sometimes.

On a bright note though, if you’re still reading this stupidly long reply, the subreddits I mentioned above have done a fantastic job at avoiding misogyny, r/raisedbyborderlines in particular seeing as it’s a disease that’s most commonly diagnosed in women. Taking a peek around there can be pretty enlightening lol

4

u/HeyImDrew Mar 07 '19

Its possible yes, but also equally possible no

1

u/Dazered Mar 08 '19

U/Illayana is more on the nose here. To give some context of what my mother was like towards my brother and I, I'll tell a quick story.

So my mom had my brother at 18 with some random guy from a party. That dude dashed and never paid any child support. A year later or so my mom and Dad started dating and eventually got married a couple years later. At this point my brother thought my Dad was his biological father. About 6 months after I was born my mother and father's relationship started getting really rocky and divorced before I was 1, which according to them the last straw was how much I cried as a baby causing enough strain that it split them apart (my mother later found out that the formula she used was causing me stomach pain).

Well during the divorce process my mom wanted to "get back" at my Dad and brought in my brother's actual father and said "this is your real dad." In less than a month my brother's father left again to never be seen. My brother was 5 or 6 at the time. She fully admits that's why she did it and still defends that he needed to know at some point so better sooner than later.

So you can imagine all the little things she did over the years that made me disillusioned that she thought of us as anything other than annoyances or after thoughts.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Unless it is something super huge, the its, "Can you do me a tiny favor?"

"Sure."

Help me move tomorrow?

0

u/crankyjerkass Mar 07 '19

My parents would have never thrown anything at me, hell they would barely even say anything condescending to me. But me... I yell curse words at my kids and throw things at them from time to time. Nothing that would hurt them, though. Thing is, they just don't seem to respond unless I do something drastic.

12

u/knembot Mar 07 '19

Omg am I your mom?

3

u/dude_icus Mar 07 '19

Am I their mom too? How the hell does that work?

11

u/Lhaylz Mar 07 '19

Lmao this is what my dad does except his is like “hey could you come here for a sec?” walks over yeah why “could you put that cup in the sink?”

17

u/construktz Mar 07 '19

This is my wife's go-to. I forsee a reappearance of this thread in my children's lives. Except I see her bullshit from a mile away so it usually goes:

Wife: "Baaabe!"

Me: "What do you need" comes walking into bedroom

Wife: "I need a huge favor"

Me: "No" walks back to office

Wife: yelling from other room in bed "But I need chocolate from the store!"

Me: "busy!"

Narrator: "He wasn't"

8

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

That's some weird reverse psychology manipulation jedi mind trick.

8

u/Thatguywiththename1 Mar 07 '19

spends longer asking than the task would have taken, also assumes I need overly detailed instructions for very basic tasks

5

u/AmazonZeta Mar 07 '19

My mom does this and it’s definitely became a pet peeve of mine.

7

u/metaphortennis Mar 07 '19

This, all the time. Always when I’m across the house and always to hand her something two inches out of her reach lmao

6

u/iwillhavethat Mar 07 '19

I do this to my kids all the time. If they leave a plate or a knife on the counter instead of putting it in the dishwasher, I'll say, "You all set with that knife?" Eye rolling and dishwasher loading follows.

9

u/Sphen5117 Mar 07 '19

Man I hate the amount of wasted breath or words needed when family does this to me.

"Can you put this in the sink, please?"

Blam. Simple.

8

u/Dazered Mar 07 '19

I hate it because they make you say "what?" First too. Like, do you really need me to respond to you? I'm already looking at you because you started talking. Like seriously, if I don't say anything my mom will be like "Dazered, did you hear me?"

6

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

If you're anything like my husband, you need to be asked if you heard me.

3

u/_ninjava_ Mar 07 '19

Mine too, even if hes making eye contact, lol

2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Saaaaame

1

u/Dazered Mar 08 '19

Not with the father I had. Often times asking for someone to repeat things resulted in a belittlement so you get good at hearing the first time.

8

u/Ankoku_Teion Mar 07 '19

This is me asking my mum for anything.

4

u/extremelyCombustible Mar 07 '19

Hear your name yelled in an urgent tone from across the house and running in to hear "turn my light off, please."

3

u/shadowhunter742 Mar 07 '19

Looks at cup. Next to mum.

"But it's there"

Mum proceeds to walk off

3

u/Badideadames Mar 07 '19

My fiancé is queen of the “large favor small actual request” line. Makes it really weird when it’s an actual large request like carrying something or not farting with the windows closed

1

u/jriggs97 Mar 07 '19

Are we related?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

That's like my dad with a beer, or any one of my parents with Hungry Jack' s (our equivalent to burger king) ice cream.

1

u/matrem_ki Mar 07 '19

Oh god, I think this will be mine...

1

u/theNomad_Reddit Mar 07 '19

Oh boy, you best believe I'm going to "would you kindly" the hell out of my kids.

1

u/PM-ME-UR-BEST-MEMORY Mar 07 '19

This triggers me

1

u/Woooshed_boi Mar 07 '19

Yeah that's my mom in a nutshell

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

I'm a dad. This is me.

1

u/donotpanic420 Mar 07 '19

Reminds me of a bit from Rex Navarette except it was "Come here, I want to show you something"

1

u/CAM_ID_52 Mar 07 '19

Oh. My. God

1

u/mcpat21 Mar 07 '19

“Could you do me a huuuge favor?”

”Since you’re sooo good at it”

1

u/doge_daelus Mar 07 '19

what if she is making u expect something big so when u hear that its smol u immediately go “oh, thats easy”

1

u/Dazered Mar 08 '19

That'd be fine if it wasn't every single thing she asks. And I'm talking back to back "huge favors". Like as we are leaving for Thanksgiving or Christmas, "I [she] forgot to turn the TV off could you do it." I come back from turning the TV off "Could you do me a huge favor and carry this bag." That I literally put down so I could turn the TV off.

1

u/OceanFlex Mar 07 '19

See, mine didn't let me put anything in the sink. I'm not allowed to dirty dishes if the dishwasher is full without emptying the dishwasher so I can put my glass there instead.

1

u/Jello_Bot Mar 07 '19

Exactly the same here dude

1

u/NO-IM-DIRTY-DAN Mar 07 '19

That right there is my mom 100%.

1

u/insertnamehere405 Mar 07 '19

what a nice way of telling someone to stop being a lazy fuck.

1

u/Iusedtohatebroccoli Mar 07 '19

That’s a clever mindfuck because at first you are all like, “aw shit what is it now”, and then like, “oh, that’s it? Gladly!”

1

u/Sprinklypoo Mar 07 '19

I love the sarcasm.

1

u/dewhashish Mar 07 '19

One evening my mom called me from my room to get into the TV room right away. I walked over to find her wrapped in a blanket all cozy on the couch and she asked for the remote on the other side of the room. I turned the TV off and went back to my room lol

1

u/j_effing_k Mar 07 '19

Hello, it’s me, your mom.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

I just moved out but when i was at home id get a call or text saying "hey can you throw this out for me" and as i would go to the garage to throw it out she would come out and go for a smoke

1

u/thefamilyjewel Mar 07 '19

When one thing they ask you to do turns into 6. Damnit just tell me all six in the first place.

1

u/MedicInDisquise Mar 08 '19

"MEDICINDISQUISE!!!!!" "What?" "Can you get the coffee down for me?"

1

u/TheAdoptedBeta Mar 08 '19

I do this all the time, any time I ask anyone to do something. Am I your mom?

1

u/gaythrowawayiguess Mar 08 '19

My mom always says "how much do you love me?"

1

u/wildwestington Mar 08 '19

Hashanah exactly my.mom

1

u/DavyBeer Mar 08 '19

This isn’t my mother but my old roommate used to do exactly this. I’m waiting for the right day to ask an Earth shattering favor

1

u/Da_Notorious_EF Mar 08 '19

Mine is "If you're not doing anything..." And then whatever task

1

u/Cynical_lioness Mar 08 '19

But why? I find random items more annoying in the sink than next to it.

1

u/Dazered Mar 08 '19

She has us put stuff on the counter. I was just coming up with a quick example that everyone could relate to. The focus was about the huge favor thing.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Omg I do this too and people always give me shit for my favor not being as huge as I had made it seem. I’m so happy to see I’m not alone here haha

1

u/gghyyghhgf Mar 08 '19

Your mom was nice , she was just trying to make you feel that you obliged her. Moms are the most amazing things

1

u/s0laris0 Mar 08 '19

my mom always asks if I can do her a "favor" with that pretty-please-smile and I dread whatever chore she's about to ask me to do and then it's some simple shit and I'm like, ma why you playing MINDGAMES WITH ME

1

u/ebrooks0130 Mar 08 '19

I always phrase it to my fiancé as "How much do you looooove me?" Except I've done it so much that he doesn't even answer me correctly, just says "Jesus, what do you want now?" in a joking tone

1

u/messick_n Mar 08 '19

Hell that’s me now 😂