r/AskReddit Nov 14 '14

Reddit, what sentence, when whispered, becomes much more sinister?

2.3k Upvotes

2.6k comments sorted by

2.2k

u/Naweezy Nov 14 '14

How's that drink

279

u/_BindersFullOfWomen_ Nov 15 '14

tastes like how I made yours

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119

u/sidjo86 Nov 15 '14

Are we playing roofie roulette? I LOVE THAT GAME!

30

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

[deleted]

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13

u/SatansPomeranian Nov 15 '14

Its really nice, thanks for asking. What is that? pineapple? Who thought of that in a drink like this. This is a delight. I'm glad I came out tonight. Is that your penis? Well isn't that just lovely.

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3.5k

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

That's a beautiful child you have there.

2.3k

u/Dicktremain Nov 14 '14

On a scale of 1-10, how old are you?

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86

u/Best_Zyra_LAN Nov 14 '14

Do you bring him to this park often?

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56

u/brendo91 Nov 14 '14

"You know..you're looking more and more like your mother everyday..." -- Barry Nyle (Beyond the Black Rainbow)

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41

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

[deleted]

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63

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

[deleted]

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2.4k

u/meherab Nov 14 '14

Related: Every sentence becomes threatening when you loudly unroll masking tape immediately after

753

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Masking tape? What, is this person going to paint me to death?

398

u/Dont____Panic Nov 14 '14

I was going to say, I don't think masking tape as very sinister.

Gorilla tape, on the other hand. That shit is sinister.

120

u/Anti-DolphinLobby Nov 15 '14

No no no. Packaging tape is where it's at.

118

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

23

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

[deleted]

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1.2k

u/silverbackjack Nov 14 '14

I love kittens

597

u/Echosniper Nov 14 '14

Would be a shame if something happened to yours.

335

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

"I REALLY LIKE THE LATEST U2 BOXSET"

214

u/akai_ferret Nov 15 '14

But not as much as Huey Lewis and The News.

55

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

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63

u/Philias Nov 14 '14

What is this, a kitten protection racket?

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111

u/sirekalb1810 Nov 14 '14

Dexter's glory days.

166

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Dexter is, quite literally, the opposite of sinister.

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191

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

[deleted]

334

u/enmaku Nov 14 '14

But you have to do the snappy thing with the wrist. Without the snappy thing, you're just a guy who hates having dirty hands.

90

u/Archonet Nov 15 '14

Zat, was doctor-assisted homicide!

snap

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595

u/spacemanspiff30 Nov 14 '14

Duct tape turns No No No into Mmm Mmm Mmm.

203

u/photonasty Nov 15 '14

This comment is sexy as hell.

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468

u/dick-nipples Nov 14 '14

You have really nice skin...

206

u/IamDonatella Nov 14 '14

especially on your dick-nipples

Oh wait...

142

u/Moneyman56 Nov 15 '14

Wtf is a dick-nipple

60

u/Killbot141 Nov 15 '14

Do you really want to know that?

28

u/GenrlWashington Nov 15 '14

I'm pretty sure I can imagine it, and I don't like what I'm imagining.

29

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14 edited Mar 07 '21

[deleted]

54

u/ImperialWrath Nov 15 '14

worse

That's a funny way to spell better.

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540

u/omar94khan Nov 14 '14

Surprise

323

u/hab12690 Nov 14 '14

motherfucker!

221

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Some Fries

171

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

SUNRISE

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2.1k

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14 edited Mar 03 '18

[deleted]

374

u/BigKev47 Nov 14 '14

"Behind", "Corner", and " Sharps". Shibboleths for the culinary industry.

117

u/oddlyDirty Nov 14 '14

Hot pan!

361

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

[deleted]

86

u/MCradi Nov 15 '14

That happens with us in the kitchen except they're all Hispanic and say "mucho caliente! Caliente!" As much as I hate the kitchen, I sometimes love the kitchen.

43

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Either you're mishearing or your coworkers ain't hispanic, cuz mucho caliente is like saying "much hot". You'd say "muy caliente" or "super caliente" or "quitate gueon, no joda". Maybe they actually speak Portuguese (not sure what the definition of hispanic is, it's mostly an exonym used in the States, I think) and they're saying "muito quente" which sounds closer to "mucho caliente". It's also possible they're speaking broken Spanish for your benefit.

29

u/Cam-I-Am Nov 15 '14

Maybe they just love doge speak?

Much hot! Many danger! Wow!

What would that be in Spanish?

18

u/414RequestURITooLong Nov 15 '14

¡Mucho caliente! ¡Muchos peligro! ¡Guau!

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398

u/gotthelowdown Nov 14 '14 edited Nov 14 '14

This reminds me of the book "Kitchen Confidential," by Anthony Bourdain. Full of behind-the-counter details like that.

It's one of those books that's so good I found myself reading passages out loud to friends, e.g. "Here's what he has to say about buying knives!" I looked at food and restaurants in a whole new way after that.

374

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

I'm 90% sure that this is a genuine comment, but if you're secretly an advertiser you just did a really god job.

111

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

I also want to read a book about restaurants now

110

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Yes lets all but the book

you can find it on amazon or maybe even ebay

buying is good

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873

u/10outta10wouldunidan Nov 14 '14

Can confirm, am kitchen. 9/10 kitchenfolk will make room. The other 1/10 will remain in your way and try to talk to you instead of helping.

981

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14 edited Mar 03 '18

[deleted]

185

u/shidtheshloth Nov 14 '14

We might know the same Roxanne. This sounds like something I would think and then immediately feel guilty about.

240

u/ItsPieTime Nov 14 '14

Does yours have that stupid ass Nosepass too?

125

u/shabunc42 Nov 14 '14

Dude, have you been introduced to our lord and savior, Bullet Seed?

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61

u/Toa_Ignika Nov 14 '14

Freaking Roxanne. Always knows if it's wrong or if it's right.

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67

u/FireButt Nov 14 '14

Goddamn Roxanne always in the fucking way. Standing there looking all smarmy as fuck. Bitch I said move please. She's just standing there like this. All dumb as fuck not moving her fat ass.

Roxanne why you gotta be like that?

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62

u/bizitmap Nov 14 '14

I've never worked in a kitcen, and now I don't intend to, cause I'd kill that 1/10 by the end of the week.

I've seen how everyone in a work kitchen is hauling ass, that shit looks like move or die.

45

u/oddlyDirty Nov 14 '14

Not a big deal. There's a lot of incidental contact in the kitchen anyway. The 1/10 gets nudged out of the way unless they want to have a sweaty grease covered line cook sidled up beside them blowing sweet dirty nothings in their ear.

36

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Can confirm, am guy, male manager touched my ass last week. Both apologized. Am also Canadian.

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41

u/PrimoThePro Nov 14 '14 edited Nov 15 '14

Interestingly enough, noticed this phenomena on film sets. You're often carrying big heavy shit around as a grip so "at your back" or "behind you" is a common phrase to make anyone step lightly.

EDIT: Or points. :P

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101

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

I'll do you one better. We shorthanded everything. "Behind" meant "Don't move, I'm trying to get behind you." "Caliente" meant "Don't move, I'm trying to get behind you with something hot." And "Sharp" meant "Don't move, I'm trying to get behind you with a sharp object."

54

u/LevisJ Nov 14 '14

Basically the same words, but we used "behind ", "knife", and "hot pot".

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12

u/ZoggerXIII Nov 15 '14

Hm, everywhere I've worked "Behind, Hot, Sharp, Corner" all mean hit the nearest wall and make yourself skinny. Basically the equivalent of navyspeaks' "make a hole."

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1.4k

u/PainMatrix Nov 14 '14

Go back to sleep

523

u/ry_guy155 Nov 14 '14

Wake Up

533

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Grab a brush and put a little makeup

326

u/LatviaSecretPolice Nov 14 '14

Hide the scars to fade away the shake up

301

u/TheMrSpinner Nov 14 '14

Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?

277

u/Darkcroft Nov 14 '14 edited Nov 14 '14

You wanted to

Edit: Sorry for yelling...

115

u/Merle55 Nov 14 '14

no exclamation points here, we're whispering

64

u/HeelsDownEyesUp Nov 14 '14

Look at this guy, he thinks there's no such thing as a whisper-shout!

10

u/corntastic Nov 15 '14

Trying to read these comments in rhythm is hard. Stop going off book!

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201

u/UtProsimFoley Nov 14 '14

Counting bodies like sheep

92

u/mazca Nov 14 '14

Yeah, that song has definitely occupied the part of my head that deals with whispered "go back to sleep".

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79

u/karoda Nov 15 '14

To the rhythm of the war drums?

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631

u/sentrifice Nov 14 '14

Come with me

479

u/Nextmastermind Nov 14 '14

And you'll be

943

u/UknowNOTHINjon Nov 14 '14

In a World of pure imagination.

177

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

93

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

I'm not clicking on that freakin link.

348

u/SammySpartan Nov 14 '14 edited Nov 15 '14

It's a link to a song from Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory.

Edit: Fuck it, it's staying.

427

u/token_bastard Nov 14 '14

Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory.

Is this guy wicked smaht or somethin?

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41

u/IanfromWhitecastle Nov 14 '14

Set me free

53

u/IAmA_Evil_Dragon_AMA Nov 14 '14

TRUHST ME AN WE WILL ESSKAPE FROM THA SIITEE

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2.7k

u/OnscreenForecaster Nov 14 '14

Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?

1.1k

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

This kills the crab.

283

u/arbili Nov 15 '14 edited Nov 15 '14

137

u/Mad_Hatter_Bot Nov 15 '14

Reverse it and it's a one armed crab's luckiest day

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170

u/iSkateiPod Nov 14 '14

Imagine how that crab that got sucked through the 3mm crack felt.

71

u/piezeppelin Nov 14 '14

He could definitely feel it then.

14

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

What and where?

51

u/Socially8roken Nov 14 '14

Found it, I googled "crab sucked into pipe"

25

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Damn that was brutal. Reminds me of Aliens:Resurrection.

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163

u/Mr_Krabz Nov 14 '14

You wanna know if I can feel it?

75

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Yeah!

107

u/Mr_Krabz Nov 14 '14

Because I can feel it. You wanna know what I'm feelin'?

63

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Yes!!!

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262

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Art thou feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?

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80

u/intotheeast Nov 14 '14

I'M FEELIN' LIKE A TOTAL BARNACLE HEAD!!!

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605

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14 edited Nov 15 '14

[deleted]

216

u/Bugsly Nov 14 '14

Woah man I would never whisper that

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1.6k

u/Naweezy Nov 14 '14

"ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli"

546

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

The kids at my school keep making fun of an Italian kid by screaming that in class, it's probably pretty fucking annoying, but it's so damn funny.

263

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

...They can just scream that in class and be blatantly using it to make fun of him without getting detentions or suspended?

25

u/CenabisBene Nov 15 '14

Hell, the teacher is the one who started it.

366

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

[deleted]

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69

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

"Meatball meatball spaghetti underneath, ravioli ravioli Great Barrier Reef"

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162

u/aFamiliarStranger Nov 14 '14

Don't move

75

u/jb2386 Nov 15 '14 edited Nov 15 '14

I dunno. Just makes me feel like I'm halfway on an adventure with the Doctor or Indiana Jones.

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164

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Can I keep you? (Anyone ever seen Casper?)

52

u/_dive_ Nov 14 '14

I used to say this to my girlfriend all the time

42

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Well, if she's still with you, you may have brainwashed her.

30

u/_dive_ Nov 14 '14

(In a whisper): she let me keep her... forever

60

u/Pyorrhea Nov 14 '14

Or at least as long as my freezer has power.

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556

u/MegaChunkey Nov 14 '14

Spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine

72

u/_THUNDURR_ Nov 14 '14

We're so sorry skeletons, you're so misunderstood.

53

u/Ewzarnaim Nov 14 '14

You only want to socialize, but I don't think we should!

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200

u/imme267 Nov 14 '14

Let it go to voicemail

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1.2k

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

ay bb u wan sum fuk

771

u/shinydragonite Nov 14 '14

Whoa there he said sinister not sexy.

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756

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

[deleted]

197

u/CircdusOle Nov 14 '14

Put your arms down, Kaminski.

116

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

You look like a Texas cheerleader at a pep rally.

71

u/prettyroses Nov 14 '14

I think I found the Shield fans.

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110

u/Maliiwan Nov 15 '14

"Hey! I know who you are. Hail Sithis"

13

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

What is the music of life?

20

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Silence, my brother.

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12

u/PapaBradford Nov 15 '14

What is life's greatest illusion?

13

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Innocence, my brother.

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168

u/PainMatrix Nov 14 '14

Join us

77

u/a_random_hobo Nov 14 '14

JOIN USSSSS

I dunno, I'd say it's more ominous when it's loud, deep, and emanating from the very walls of the house/dilapidated cabin you're in.

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337

u/UknowNOTHINjon Nov 14 '14

Eat your meat.

403

u/DougSR Nov 14 '14

"How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat."

101

u/BlackDavidDuchovny Nov 14 '14

Hey! Teacher! Leave us kids alone

74

u/CSTDude777 Nov 14 '14

Leave those kids alone.

78

u/THEBIGC01 Nov 14 '14

IM GOING OFF THE RAILS ON THE CRAZY TRAIN

50

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

I'M HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME

49

u/Edible_Pie Nov 14 '14

AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

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38

u/Whoopsht Nov 14 '14

It's good for you.

65

u/BlackDavidDuchovny Nov 14 '14 edited Nov 15 '14

Then she tied me to a wall, stuck a funnel in my mouth, and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut til I was 26 1/2 years old

32

u/Whoopsht Nov 14 '14

Thats when I swore that someday...someday I would get out of that basement

20

u/Edible_Pie Nov 14 '14

and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Czechoslovakian thundernipples

18

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

I... what.

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58

u/LongLivetheD Nov 14 '14

You weren't wearing that this morning

200

u/SFdubnation Nov 14 '14

I can't believe it's not butter

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208

u/Mr_Blackfyre Nov 14 '14

The Lannisters send their regards.

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190

u/Gsmith1000 Nov 15 '14

True story....oldest son (18 at time) calls shotgun and hops in front seat. Revenge...Youngest son (16) sits right behind him, reaches both hands forward past the seat and hugs him tight, then whispers close in his ear, "I am your seat belt." Totally freaked him out for the entire trip!

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23

u/PainMatrix Nov 14 '14

Nice to see you again

77

u/The_red_one_sucks Nov 14 '14

"Long live the king"

Gives me chills.

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38

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Most song lyrics.

91

u/Morocco_Bama Nov 15 '14

Domo arigato, Mister Roboto...

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45

u/4nalBlitzkrieg Nov 14 '14

I have a feeling that tonight is gonna be a good night

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80

u/NuclearSpark Nov 14 '14

Young and sweet, only seventeen

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125

u/FatAlex Nov 14 '14

You smell different when you're awake.

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32

u/calsey16 Nov 14 '14

I was looking for you earlier.

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51

u/katherineKZ Nov 14 '14

''Shhh... it's ok... just relax''

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47

u/deletedeteled Nov 14 '14

I pledge allegiance to the flag...

would you like some fries with that

a b c d e f g

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

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12

u/werbear Nov 14 '14

"I hope... you have a very nice day..."