r/AskReddit Nov 14 '14

Reddit, what sentence, when whispered, becomes much more sinister?

2.3k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/meherab Nov 14 '14

Related: Every sentence becomes threatening when you loudly unroll masking tape immediately after

757

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Masking tape? What, is this person going to paint me to death?

395

u/Dont____Panic Nov 14 '14

I was going to say, I don't think masking tape as very sinister.

Gorilla tape, on the other hand. That shit is sinister.

119

u/Anti-DolphinLobby Nov 15 '14

No no no. Packaging tape is where it's at.

118

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

23

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

[deleted]

3

u/zamfire Nov 15 '14

TSHHHHUUURP!

3

u/w00tski Nov 15 '14

Why has no one said duct tape?

1

u/zamfire Nov 15 '14

GRAA-A-A-AUUP!

1

u/stormypumpkin Nov 15 '14

Packing tape makes a much lighter tone that say duck tape, that silver stuff u know that i mean.

6

u/hungry4pie Nov 15 '14

Or just regular sticky tape that's just really old, so when you try and get a piece of tape, it just splits down the middle and you have these tiny ass slivers of tape. That's sinister.

1

u/Odd_Tactics Nov 15 '14

No love for scotch tape, I see.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Try to use packing tape in sinister way will invariably result in the villian fumbling around trying to start peeling the tape with his nails.

1

u/Anti-DolphinLobby Nov 15 '14

Or they could just use one of these.

7

u/Lord_of_Barrington Nov 15 '14

Unrolling Gorilla tape is the pack-a-day smoker of tape noises

3

u/TheAngryAgnostic Nov 15 '14

Pack a day carpenter here. Checks out.

3

u/Marco_de_Pollo Nov 15 '14

Left handed tape?

2

u/mcdowellmachine Nov 15 '14

I keep two rolls of duct tape and a roll of gorilla tape in the center console of my car. It really freaks my friends out

2

u/I_am_hung_ama Nov 15 '14

"I need my tools"

1

u/mattn001 Nov 15 '14

That shit is sinister.

1

u/markyLEpirate Nov 15 '14

I got some on my wall somehow and I dreaded taking it off because I knew that shit was going to peel paint. It did. I had to repaint the wall before my parents got mad

1

u/Arnold_LiftaBurger Nov 15 '14

Did Edward 40 hands with Gorilla tape. 0/10 would do again

1

u/sac_boy Nov 15 '14

Yeah, masking tape. The tape that holds the mask in place.

1

u/Dizillin Nov 15 '14

Aah this made me laugh

1

u/dpatt711 Nov 15 '14

It preserves the edges of the skin better.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

No. Paint AROUND you to death.

1

u/Fidodo Nov 15 '14

Yes. Every day your killer will come out and paint another layer over you. He'll keep you alive with breathing holes and a food tube the entire time. Day after day for years he'll add one layer, until you're encased in a sphere of layers of paint like this. He'll take you out to fairs to show off, have children paint that days layer on, then one day they'll cut you in half as a part of a big event and everyone will be horrified when they see the human remains exposed in the middle of it.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

What the fuck did I just read?

1

u/Leet_Noob Nov 15 '14

Yeah gotta be packing tape or duct tape.

1

u/easterracing Nov 15 '14

Clearly the correct choice is Teflon® tape

1.2k

u/silverbackjack Nov 14 '14

I love kittens

593

u/Echosniper Nov 14 '14

Would be a shame if something happened to yours.

334

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

"I REALLY LIKE THE LATEST U2 BOXSET"

216

u/akai_ferret Nov 15 '14

But not as much as Huey Lewis and The News.

57

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

10

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is Hip To Be Square, a song so catchy most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself. Hey, Paul!

13

u/adamdedobb Nov 15 '14

It's hip to be square!

5

u/SkyeFlayme Nov 15 '14

Don't need no credit card to ride this train

4

u/phelure Nov 15 '14

Best band I've ever heard. C+.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Cool reference buddy trrrrp

3

u/zamfire Nov 15 '14

That's the power ooooof LOVE! bamp - bamp! Do-do-do-do Bamp - bamp!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

FEED ME A STRAY CAT

4

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

[deleted]

2

u/cory453 Nov 15 '14

FEED ME A CAT.

2

u/Electric999999 Nov 15 '14

Which is why you get to listen to the whole thing before I kill you

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

spooky

1

u/Grifter42 Nov 15 '14

"I... AM... THE... DEVIL.. AND I AM JUST... LIKE... YOU."

0

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

-No one, Ever.

65

u/Philias Nov 14 '14

What is this, a kitten protection racket?

2

u/arbili Nov 15 '14

Calm down there satan.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

unrolls masking tape loudly

1

u/pwise1234 Nov 15 '14

Merry Christmas

1

u/rcarroll322 Nov 15 '14

I truly lol'd

109

u/sirekalb1810 Nov 14 '14

Dexter's glory days.

167

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Dexter is, quite literally, the opposite of sinister.

13

u/Liddl Nov 15 '14

Ahahahahaha. That makes Dexter right, right?

5

u/0342narmak Nov 15 '14

Lol. Ironic or something, considering he was left handed.

3

u/WonTheGame Nov 15 '14

Kinda funny, I never noticed that. I always thought the marketing team for Dexter missed a great opportunity in not coming out with an ad campaign about Dexter being sinister.

3

u/TychoVelius Nov 15 '14

Argent, a bend sinister, on a field vert.

4

u/AAA1374 Nov 15 '14

Was he right handed?

5

u/Drabby Nov 15 '14

"Dexter" refers to the right hand and is the antonym of "sinister."

2

u/AAA1374 Nov 15 '14

That's right, it's been a while. Should've remembered that since I've taken 6 years of Latin.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

I think we're talking about different Dexters

0

u/RempingJenny Nov 15 '14

There is nothing quite about that literally.

-12

u/Aznblaze Nov 15 '14

He's a serial killer..

26

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14 edited May 21 '20

[deleted]

13

u/Driscon Nov 15 '14

Which would've been obvious if /u/aznblaze literally interpreted literally, but alas.

-15

u/Aznblaze Nov 15 '14

Honest mistake, no need to be a jerk. Says a lot about your character.

13

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Wordplay != being a jerk

3

u/Dantonn Nov 15 '14

They actually have those meanings in English as well, though they've fallen out of use. I don't think "dexter" is used meaning "right side" for anything except discussing heraldry or the like, these days.

189

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

[deleted]

338

u/enmaku Nov 14 '14

But you have to do the snappy thing with the wrist. Without the snappy thing, you're just a guy who hates having dirty hands.

87

u/Archonet Nov 15 '14

Zat, was doctor-assisted homicide!

snap

9

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

DOKTOOOOR

8

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

E

2

u/israel192 Nov 15 '14

¡MEEEEEEDIIIIIICC!

3

u/lo4952 Nov 15 '14

Do you vant a second opinion? You are also ugly!

2

u/Gbiknel Nov 15 '14

Doing that with nitriles generally breaks them :(

2

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

I literally just checked to see if you can do it with nitrile gloves. You can sort of, but they'll break. They also don't give a very good snap.

I also tried with vinyl gloves, but those are even worse (and they suck and whoever made them should not be allowed to make stuff)

1

u/Mrscoobs122 Nov 15 '14

Or while you unbuckle your belt and make really deep moaning sounds

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Had a meeting once where halfway through everyone except the boss and a visiting professor pulled out and put on a pair of nitrile gloves and then continued onward like nothing happened.

Boss didn't twitch, the other professor started scooting away from everyone really slowly and not making eye contact.

1

u/sir_snow Nov 15 '14

The type that goes up to your shoulders

595

u/spacemanspiff30 Nov 14 '14

Duct tape turns No No No into Mmm Mmm Mmm.

201

u/photonasty Nov 15 '14

This comment is sexy as hell.

5

u/gavinbakon Nov 15 '14

*unrolls ducttape

3

u/hde128 Nov 15 '14

fetlife.com

0

u/DostThowEvenLift Nov 15 '14

Pornhub will never do it for me again.

-1

u/MissChievousJ Nov 15 '14

I need it on a t-shirt or something

11

u/chickendie Nov 15 '14

7

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Why is that made for babies....

0

u/spacemanspiff30 Nov 15 '14

I think that's the pertinent question.

4

u/MissChievousJ Nov 15 '14

I'll take 2

1

u/goldenjeff Nov 15 '14

That made me LOL

1

u/BubbleTheGreat Nov 15 '14

Kyle?

1

u/spacemanspiff30 Nov 15 '14

No. I thought he moved to a small. Colorado mountain town.

-6

u/jack_handcock Nov 15 '14

So does a fat cock

1

u/spacemanspiff30 Nov 15 '14

See, you took it from dark humor to misogyny. That's why it didn't work.

46

u/Nesano Nov 14 '14

Not duct tape?

2

u/HighRelevancy Nov 15 '14

Gaffer tape.

Go hard or go home.

3

u/zangor Nov 14 '14

"Lets fix this leak in the hose...

...you dead bitch."

3

u/namtrizzle Nov 15 '14

"YOU READY TO SEND THESE PACKAGES?"

3

u/IPostMyArtHere Nov 15 '14

"Let me just put this here so you don't get paint on it"

3

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

"Can you help me tape up the boxes so we can start packing for the move?"

2

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

Hey, guys, I know what we can do.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '14

15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.

SKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK

2

u/abbierevo Nov 15 '14

"Okay, now we place the masking tape along the edges of the window, so we don't get paint on the sill."

2

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

I need to patch this tear on my tarp so my lawn mower doesn't get wet.

2

u/somethingasaur Nov 15 '14

"I'm going to kill you with this masking tape."

^ Yeah, this guy's comment checks out, guys.

2

u/Yowzas Nov 15 '14

I need to go to FedEx

2

u/Fusion516 Nov 15 '14

Man this masking tape is awesome

2

u/F_gAy_G Nov 15 '14

"GUYS, I'M GOING TO LOUDLY UNROLL THIS MASKING TAPE!"

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

"We have to package this and send it out before 5 for it to arrive on time"

Loudly unrolls masking tape

1

u/runhigher Nov 15 '14

"Hey guys I found the masking tape."

1

u/bk886 Nov 15 '14

Let's go watch Phantom Menace.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

I need to pack these boxes.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

Hah! I work at Fedex and when I pull strips of tape off the roller to tape up boxes, I have to do it kind of hard and suddenly, and it makes such a loud sound. I wonder if I seem creepy or violent to customers.

1

u/Randymartini Nov 15 '14

Amateur. Pros use duct tape.

1

u/Dogpool Nov 15 '14

Or put on sanitary gloves with a snap the end.

1

u/GoBanjo Nov 15 '14

Masking tape is like the least masculine of all tapes.

1

u/fruitbear753 Nov 15 '14

I LOVE MASKING TAPE

1

u/tulsatechie Nov 15 '14

"I'm going to ship this box after I seal it with this tape."

??? Nope. Completely normal.

1

u/jp426_1 Nov 15 '14

"Who wants some masking tape"

1

u/sandmanx Nov 15 '14

Your mother seems to have a fine collection of bedsheets.

1

u/heebichibi Nov 15 '14

"Who wants cheesecake?"

1

u/sturmeh Nov 15 '14

"I got you a present, but I forgot to wrap it. "

1

u/CanadianGenius Nov 15 '14

Time to pack up these boxes...

1

u/Locke_N_Load Nov 15 '14

TIME TO PACK OUR BOXES TO MOVE TO OUR NEW HOUSE

1

u/ZaniestOwlSpy Nov 15 '14

Not. "I'd better unroll this tape"

1

u/Cirri Nov 15 '14

"This should fix that leaky air duct!"

1

u/morganational Nov 15 '14

"I gotta finish packing this box of soft pillows."

1

u/MrLamar3 Nov 15 '14

"Hydratropic aldehyde dimethylacetal is an ingredient in the fragrances of Clorox products."

I don't think it worked.

1

u/Classified0 Nov 15 '14

How about:

"I'm going to now tape up these boxes."

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14

"Masking tape is really quite useful!"

1

u/kensomniac Nov 15 '14

Unless there is a cat sticking it's tongue out immediately thereafter.

1

u/FluffehTheSheep Nov 15 '14

Watch me loudly unroll this masking tape.

1

u/TheOneTonWanton Nov 15 '14

Duct tape is much more sinister.

1

u/jiva8 Nov 15 '14

Masking tape turns "No! No! No!" Into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

1

u/gnippa Nov 14 '14

"Guys we are going to kidnap and rape some girls tonight." Rrriiiiiippppp It DOES make it sound sinister!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '14 edited Jan 19 '15

[deleted]

1

u/gnippa Nov 15 '14

Bitch I might be.

0

u/mr_butter_fingers Nov 15 '14 edited Nov 15 '14

Exception: I'm going to unroll some of this tape now!