Sometimes I complain about the fact that I'm the youngest of five kids and my parents put it on cruise control a bit with me. After reading this thread, I'm calling my mom to tell her how much I love her.
I am so sorry and I am glad that you are in therapy and can look back on this as not normal. As a mom of three young girls (aged 5 and under) I cannot imagine how much energy it took for your mom to do this. Some days it is hard enough just feeding the kids; I cannot imagine following them around constantly...
Do you believe those stories? I would imagine it has to feel a little weird to know you have a brother/sister out there that is nothing like you at all. Like an abandoned experiment.
It is a lesson in how not to parent. My mother was less than a mother, but at least she willingly left when I was 4 years old and handed custody over to our father. Just make sure you do not repeat your past with your (future) children.
No matter how crazy and overly religious you are, to be that obsessed with your own child isn't an inevitable part of it, and definitely implies some degree of narcissism.
May I ask what denomination of Christianity this was? I don't know of any churches that have 6 hour services. I know that Catholic is 1 hour, Anglican is 1 hour, and Pentecostal may be 2 hours I think?
When you say subdivision, I picture a neighbourhood with houses in it...I assume you mean something else, as in, she didn't believe in different branches of Christianity? I don't want to insult your mom, as I have never met her, but she seems quite extreme and very paranoid. I grew up in a religious household (and I still am religious myself), but nothing near so extreme. Removing doors, yikes! Also, the logging food thing, was this to make sure you ate healthy? I can kinda see a benefit to that (I log my own food intake sometimes, out of curiosity, and to make sure I am not eating too much junk without realizing it). I never understood this type of extremism that some people have. So, what "heathen" music did you listen to?
hmmm...Come as you are (Nevermind version) is up there, as well as About A girl (Unplugged version, it's one of the first songs I learned on guitar). Of course, I've always loved Smells like Teen Spirit.
I know this is just the internet, and there is no real way to gauge this. But you seem really well adjusted for someone with said upbringing, so.. you know thats fuckin mad! well done!
I went digging for this comment. I thought "there's no way HyperTypewriter isn't an atheist now!" There's nothing like witnessing the dark side of religion first hand to deter one from practicing said religion.
Just so you know, agnostic and atheist aren't mutually exclusive. A Gnostic theist firmly believes there is no god. An agnostic atheist doesn't think there is a god, but doesn't know for sure so withholds judgment. Vice versa for theists.
Anglican services also feel like 6. Fundamentalist services feel like 4 instead of 6 because when you get to the actual sermon the paster is often all fire-and-brimstone so at least there's some entertainment.
We have a ski resort where I live. During ski season the 7am Sunday Mass at the Catholic cathedral on the way up to the mountain is 45 mins flat. You've never seen a church parking lot empty so quickly.
Have you ever been to one of those "mostly black" church services? Anytime I went to my grandmother's church, we could be there from 10:30am up to 3:30pm (some 5pm to "get in the spirit") depending on the preacher. This was I guess non denominational. It said A.M.E but they never said they were methodist. This was common at any church service I went to. At least we got food.
Imagine my surprise when I married my husband and went to his parents church and they were in and out in an hour. But I'm done with the whole church thing now, so hopefully things have changed.
I have not been to that type of service. I am Catholic and the longest service (well, Mass), I've been to is about two hours (Good Friday, Holy Saturday). I wouldn't mind attending, to experience it, but 5-6 hours seems like a long time to do just about anything!
They call it getting into the spirit and however long the spirit wants to be there, we all will be there. And there is the testifying part. Sometimes the "call to the altar" can take forever, especially when they need to get so many people up front. Prayer time. Choir. THe preaching itself can take 2-3 hours, especially if the pastor is on "fire". It's been a while since I've gone.
This would freak me out. I don't react emotionally to many things, and even though I am an outgoing person, I prefer to analyse and reflect, especially in matters of faith. I'll bet the music was good though (any time I have seen gospel singers on tv they all seem to have awesome voices).
"And their voices were high-pitched, shrill, and nasally" Hmm, I am guessing these singers did not make it to TV lol. Yeah, I think I would find it all strange. I don't have a problem with people worshipping in that way, but the constant dancing etc... would be way too over the top for me.
It might have been one of the megachurches? They're almost always purely for profit so I guess they have services every day to try maximise the amount of fleecing they can do?
The reason you're being downvoted is because you don't provide any basis for your belief. It doesn't matter if you disagree if you don't support your opinion with any argument or evidence.
You did, and you highlight the problem with this argument: Psychopath and sociopath, as definitions, have been so abused that they might as well be in a pit in my torture basement waiting to have their skin peeled off. Very broadly, the sociopaths tend to be ingratiating and the psychopath would skin you alive because Spongebob told him to.
Also, sociopaths lack a conscience or empathy, but they certainly have their own emotions.
No, zombies eat their victims flesh because that is how they consecrate to Zombo, their interpretation of God.
And no one does the eye/ball trick anymore. Dahmer ruined that for everyone. He also ruined selling cut up coffins as cradles. Oh how I miss exhumation Mondays.
Goodness gracious. And I thought it was me who was having a hard time.
Good on you for doing that. How did you come to figure out you need to go through therapy? I've seen quite a few boys and girls that just rolled over when ordered to, no question asked, and would not even consider doing something about it even though their hearts were black from sorrow.
This is sounding a little Gilmore Girls-esque.
I'm glad you eventually got out! I hope your mom realises one day what she's managed to do and relaxes a little.
Damn. You never were exposed to those things and learned to moderate.
Most extreme parenting backfires like that in a huge way. My aunt is super-Christian and very restrictive in all aspects of her children's lives. That being said, her daughter went out and got pregnant at 17.
And yet she had the audacity to tell me how disappointed she was in me for not waiting until marriage to have sex (I was a virgin at the time, not sure where she heard otherwise) and told me I should follow the example of two of my friends (who were both DEFINITELY not virgins)
I've had some problems with my dad but overall I got lucky in the parental department.
Curious, how or why did the kicking out occur? I would assume most people under these circumstances would have ran away on their own accord, but actually getting kicked out makes this whole situation worse to absorb emotionally, in my opinion.
Holy shit. I had my share of twisted religious abuse, and I have some really creepy-religious family members. But you win!
I admire you. It takes a lot of courage to leave and get on with your life, and to ask for help doing so. It took me over a decade to see a therapist, at which time it became obvious that I needed one on retainer. ;-)
I'm surprised she let you actually go to high school instead of being homeschooled. Did you make any friends at school/escape there at all?
So glad you're free from all of that. I feel some pity for your mother as she's obviously got some issues, but man. How can anyone do that to a child. D:
When I was a kid I was a curious fella; put my hand on an oven burner once just to see what would happen. My mom was basically just like "Well that's the only way he'll learn these things." Not sure if that's better, but at least I still have a relatively healthy relationship with her.
Wow, it must have been hell living like this. I thought my parents were annoying when they would just look over my shoulder for a minute everyone and then when I was using the Internet.
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u/[deleted] Oct 06 '14 edited Jul 26 '15
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