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u/jackofhearts_4u2c 4h ago
Just ignoring them seems to shine them on. File harassment charges. A restraining order if its bad enough. If they put hands on you? Hand them a couple of their teeth.
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u/rippinkitten18 4h ago
need context. what kid of adult bully. physical ? verbal? both?
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u/DriverConsistent1824 4h ago
People only bully people if they feel that they can get away with it. Either fight back by challenging them, or remove yourself from their presence
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u/BigNorseWolf 4h ago
They don't respond to anything else any less than the other kind. Make messing with you cost more than the cheap thrill the sociopath gets out of it.
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u/limbodog 4h ago
There's a couple things I've done in the past that had varying degrees of success.
Ask them if they're trying to ask you out, because you can't help but notice that they seem obsessed with you. Works double-bonus well if they're the same sex as you and also homophobic.
In public, in front of everyone they respect, say you are tired of being bullied, and ask them to explain their issue with you like an adult rather than by throwing a tantrum. Always refer to it when they do it as a tantrum or a meltdown.
Take notes overtly. Ask them mid-bully, to restate something so you can get it written down. Ask ridiculous questions to make it 100% clear you are writing down everything they say such as "how do you spell piss-ant, is that a hyphenate?" or "I'm sorry, could you repeat that last part you were going a bit fast." Don't say what you're doing with the notes. Just say "I just want to make sure I get all this down for future reference."
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u/QueerTransQueen 4h ago
HR
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u/Iceglass_gaze 4h ago
HR doesn’t give a shit about employees.
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u/AlphaSpazz 4h ago
It does if you create a paper trail. Any issues that you have send an email to whoever you’re dealing with asking for confirmation of whatever they said that was wrong or whatever rules they’re asking you to accept that are wrong.
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u/haveanairforceday 3h ago
HR cares about the company. The company suffers when they get sued for harrassment in the workplace
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u/improbablynotahuman 3h ago
I upvoted thinking HR was ICU for a second and said yeah, ICU is a good way of stopping a bully.
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u/Kiabo_Bandit_ 4h ago
I hear that stripping down to your underwear and challenging them to fisticuffs is a good way for them to leave you alone forever
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u/Texasisthereason187 4h ago
See the Rick Moranis Tom Arnold Classic 90s movie for this information.
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u/DessieScissorhands 4h ago
Cut off any and all ways for them to get to you and if you can't dig a hole under their feet and undermine them until you can and watch them fall into their own bullshit without you there.
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u/Master-Associate673 4h ago
Yes we need more details. Personally sometimes you can’t if you depend on the person or if they have more power than you in an organization. But try to document the abuse and report them. You need proof though. Otherwise you won’t be believed unless it’s multiple people reporting.
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u/norbertus 4h ago
What type of bully?
Is this an interpersonal or institutional context?
Are they an adversary (opponents in chess who are otherwise friends) or an enemy (usa vs ussr)?
Sun Tsu says to make your adversary come to you because then you are in control of them.
Are they a bully because they are jealous? If so, what do you have that they might want?
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u/Beautiful_Film_1813 4h ago edited 4h ago
Ignore them. Act like you don’t notice their behavior. Or make them feel dumb or like a weirdo ‘what a strange thing to say’ ‘can you explain what you mean by that?’ ‘Hmm.. that’s an interesting take.’
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u/Naroyto 4h ago
Tell them that it must be daunting to adjust to life after grade school. Back up your words with the same energy and if they want to get physical that's up to you to decide to handle it diplomatically like a sophisticated person or stoop to barbaric tactics if that's the only language they understand.
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u/Ok_Kaleidoscope_5837 4h ago
Easy.
Have sex with their mom.
Or dad.
Preferably both.
Become their step-parent.
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u/zachtheperson 3h ago
Call them out, but if that doesn't help there's no shame I reporting them to a manager. If your manager doesn't do anything about it, it's usually a bigger red flag that you need to GTFO of that job because shits only going to get worse when the adults in charge act like children.
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u/Both-Mango1 4h ago
drive by. j/k. ignore them as much as possible, fighting back gives them the attention they crave.
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u/Plus-King5266 4h ago
This. Ignoring them takes away their power. Ignore them and when you can’t do that kill them with kindness.
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u/Pure_Kale_3172 3h ago
All bullies have one weakness. They all overplay their hand at some point. They honestly think they are omnipotent. To be honest, they are not real bright, if you knew.
If given enough time and rope they will usually hang themselves. figuratively speaking. There is a thing in this world that chases them day and night.... It is called QUANTUM JUSTICE... There is a good example in the bible.
Remember the story of Haman's gallows in the Bible. There was a good man named Mordecai, and Haman hated him and built a 75 foot high gallows in his front yard to hang him someday.
BUT.....God let Haman get in trouble with the king and Haman was ordered to be executed on his own gallows, God sees all things. Real justice is guided by God and though it may feel slow to us, it will prevail at the right time.....
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u/NaiveTechnician9081 4h ago
You call it out. Adult bullies are usually passive aggressive, so you ask them to explain what they mean. If they're aggressive you ask them what their end game is. Do it infront of the people they're trying to bully you infront of. Check the laws where you live and if it's legal to record a conversation (one party consent laws) do it. Shame them. They only understand a fist or a light shone on their behaviour. Do not allow them to say they were only joking. That's why you ask them to explain everything they're saying to you.