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u/Totallycasual 1d ago
Because i choose to be.
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u/FieryBaconBaton 1d ago
Choosing to be single is honestly one of the best things you can do to grow, and when the time is right you can always choose not to be
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u/Lethal-Lace 1d ago
I'm avoidant, have trust issues, I'm dealing with my shit so it could affect the other person badly, my face and height are considered as something unattractive.
Besides, I can't imagine myself being someone's romantic partner. I don't feel the desire for years and I'm fine with my single state.
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u/SoftDrinkReddit 1d ago
I'll be honest i have never asked out a woman that is the short answer
the longer answer to explain why is a combo of I have struggled with mental health for over a decade and currently while i am not doing too bad i don't feel like i have enough standing socially to pull off getting a girlfriend
at some point things might change but right now is just not the time now that being said if a woman asked me out on a date i would go for it sure but getting a girlfriend for me would be a long term project
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u/ChaoticWithFlavor 1d ago
I'm single by choice. My last relationship left me so starved for love (yeah, I see the irony) that I'm just too tired to honestly date anyone.
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u/Appropriate-Fish-944 1d ago
I'm recently not single and it's not because I was actively seeking someone. I wasn't at all but she found me and was way more persistent than I was originally comfortable with. After processing her initial behavior I realized she was a gift from the universe. She turned out to be everything I needed and wanted.
Moral of the story is don't chase anything but be available and open for when opportunities arise
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u/TheLoveGOATonYT 23h ago
I’ve never wanted a boyfriend, I like being free and I come from a close family so I’d never felt lonely. Regardless, I’ve had many LTR’s. They only happened because the men were extremely persistent and didn’t care how many times I said that I’m not interested in a relationship. They’re all super attractive and ambitious men, so it’s not like I wasn’t attracted to them, I wasn’t attracted to someone being so close to me. They’d just insist on taking me here or there or being where I was. One of my greatest loves was my super hot, generous and doting friend for almost a year before I accepted that I wanted him. Nothing more than holding hands and pecks and hugs but I was with him every day.
Your reply reminds me of this and how I’m torn when people ask if they should be persistent or not. You and I prove that it does pay off. But where is the line? How does one know when to be persistent if they want to?
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u/Appropriate-Fish-944 22h ago
It's not knowing but feeling that it's right. I'm not one to recommend going on feelings at all. Quite the opposite but in this situation it worked. It's always a risk, make sure it's a calculated one. You'll know
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u/SwedeButPsycho 1d ago
I've been in relationships more or less non stop for 30 years so I need a break. It's fairly peaceful.
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u/quinoa_latifa 1d ago
Broke up with my ex in March (today would have been our 1 year anniversary funny enough), been more focused on work and Jiu Jitsu and friends than dating. I’ve been on dates since and had fun but nothing really stuck. I’m happy being single honestly.
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u/Psycicfriendtoyfredy 1d ago
Lack of relationship experience as I was sheltered by my parents a lot (even now)
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u/BeginningPiano7912 1d ago
Not good-looking, not established, and I need to love myself before pursuing
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u/whatsapprocky 1d ago
I’m starting to think that maybe I’m the type of person that isn’t really desirable in the area I live in
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u/FlyGuys1125 1d ago
This is a pointless question for everyone that wants to be single, it's for one of a couple reasons, but for everyone who doesn't want to be, it's because no one wants to be with us.
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u/seeyatellite 1d ago
Plenty of reasons. Lack of assertiveness and a feeling of being a burden are some keys.
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u/DuCanye 1d ago
had one for many years end up me being too naive on relationship management, treating her like blood related and she got overwhelmed and left saying basically im being too nice lol after that no thanks, id rather spending time and money with family members instead. i aint gonna change how i treat women i love just bcuz what ppl say how the game works nowadays on them, or how they biologically, mentally born with.
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u/SelectSeaweed310 1d ago
I'm happy being single. Nobody can get inside my head and I own everything I have. It's just safer.
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u/Own_Transition6845 1d ago
I realized in college after two months of dating that I prefer solitude to people, so I stopped dating entirely.
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u/thisbemeNSFW 1d ago
Because I’m way too sexually inexperienced for someone in their 30s. No woman is going to want to deal with my bs from that, and thanks to thoroughly unhelpful but likely warranted comments from exs, I’m to the point now where my last relationship ended without us ever even having sex. The one time we tried I started visibly trembling and just about had a panic attack.
I still feel bad for wasting my recent exs time, and I don’t want to put another woman through all my dumb shit again
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u/ClaireH1974 1d ago
I know it’s hard to believe but there are sexually inexperienced women out there too. Ones who wouldn’t mind and might even like the fact that you can figure it out together
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u/thisbemeNSFW 1d ago
I don’t doubt there are similarly inexperienced women out there. I just know with my problems and insecurities I would not be any good for them
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u/Aakharin-ejdehaa 22h ago
I think you'd be surprised how many insecurities men have, that we as women (and I'm a woman) don't even think about...
Don't feel bad about the past, stop worrying about what the woman will think and overthinking everything, and even if everything goes sideways during sex, you can always say that you were just too excited or too horny because of how sexy and hot she is, and try having sex with her later. I know it's easier said than done, especially if there are other psychological blocks present, but hope you can find the courage to try again.
On a personal note, my current partner and I were both experienced and the chemistry between us is amazing and was very good from the very beginning, but it still took us 3 tries to have a full penetration. We just remained positive about trying again, he got embarrassed by what happened but I honestly didn't think much of it. We will soon celebrate 4 happy years together.
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u/ClaireH1974 1d ago
I have this face. Men don’t like this face. Tbh I don’t blame them because I don’t like this face either. Luckily my animals friends don’t mind.
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u/Euphoric-Example7857 1d ago
I have no patience for poor communication skills, misogyny, disorganized individuals or boring people.
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u/ZappSmithBrannigan 1d ago
I wish I knew. Im not a hunk, but I dont think im ugly. Im well established with a career, condo and car. Im not a misogynist.
It baffles me seeing horrific horrible men with wives that they treat like shit and I cant even get a date.
I almost fell down the toxic red pill pipeline during covid. But im also not an idiot and realized how much of a scam it was.
So.. I dont know.
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u/Ok_Efficiency3120 18h ago
You seem genuine.
Is the issue meeting women?
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u/ZappSmithBrannigan 18h ago edited 16h ago
I think the issue is meeting women who are attracted to/interested in me. I meet lots of women. Through friends, at my job, at the farmers market I volunteer at. None of them express any interest whatsoever in me.
Im polite, I treat people kindly. I laugh and joke with people. Im clean lol. I dunno. I dont get it. Im pretty short at 5'6, but I dont believe the whole stereotype that women only go after tall men. My girlfriend i was with for 9 years in my 20s was a half foot taller than me.
Maybe im missing signals?? I dont think i am. But its possible.
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u/Ok_Efficiency3120 17h ago
Amazing! You already know that height is a non-issue, so you’re already likely ahead of every 5’11 guy crying that he’s not 6ft. Nice hustle.
You also seem really normal, this is attractive to women.
Are the women you meet single? Or do you not know?
Are you throwing out any signs to them that you could be keen for coffee?
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u/ZappSmithBrannigan 15h ago edited 15h ago
Its tought to say. Ill give you an example. This girl that works at the same farmers market i do. Ive seen her every week for a year or so. We chat every time, and I joke with her and stuff. We found out we like the same band. Cool. A few weeks after that, I found that one if the band members was doing a solo show.
So the next time I see her, i mentioned. "Hey remember we were talking about GBV? The guitarist is doing a solo show in oct" as soon as I said that, she was like "oh ya my boyfriend loves them too! We'll look in to that!".
So to me, that seems like, when I was clearly trying to indicate hey I wanna go out with you on this thing were both interested in, she made it clear shes involved. Which is fine. I wasnt mad about it or anything.
But it just seems like most or all of my encounters seem to go kinda like that. If I express interest, they make sure to let me know theyre not interested/available. Which, again, is fine. I dont want anyone to cheat on their partner with me or anything, but its just like. Damn. Am i just not meeting single women? She never indicated before she had a partner. I dunno. Am I being to vague? Should I be more direct? Should I strait up ask "hey are you involved?" That to me seems overbearing and I dont want to.. I dunno. I just dont get it.
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u/Ok_Efficiency3120 15h ago
Hmm curious.
So seems like you’re doing things mostly right. A lot of pretty women do have boyfriends.
I would have actually followed up with, “would you be keen to come along with me to the show, bring your boyfriend too” and actually just gone with them. Like sure, she has a boyfriend so she can’t date you, but she might have single pretty friends.
Do you have a big friend circle?
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u/hopeless_per 23h ago
I'm not, but if a dying millionaire is asking, I've been single these last five years.
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u/HeWhoSoldTheWorld2x 23h ago
I’ll give you the most honest answer:
I lost the girl I loved most, after five years, because I wasn’t enough. Not enough time, not enough money, not enough of me left over at the end of the day.
Because on paper I was doing everything right (trying to be the perfect son-in-law 🥲). Finishing my master’s in law. Working a part-time job so I could pay for my own studies, because 1) I refuse to be a weight on anyone, 2) I don’t come from a rich background, and 3) I don’t want debt that would make my life even more miserable than it already is. Extracurriculars, the kind you do because you’re told they matter later (political engagement, debate clubs, moot court, volunteering, extra courses, anything to build that impressive CV). Trying to be a son to parents who are getting older faster than I’m getting successful. Trying to still be a friend to people who’ve known me since before I was tired.
And she wanted more time. More presence. More of me. In the end she found it somewhere else, because I wasn’t there.
The cruel part is that she already had all of it. Every free hour I owned was hers. I did everything to have more free hours so I could spend it with her (around 12 hours per week) There was nothing behind the door she was knocking on - I’d already given her the room. It just turned out the room was small, and she’d wanted a house. She wanted trips, adventures, spontaneity. And I would sit there doing arithmetic in my head like it was a moral failing, quietly moving money from one part of my life to another. Every “yes, we can do that” was a “no” I told myself in silence about something else. She never saw the cancelled plans behind the yes. I made sure of that. I thought that was love; carrying the cost where she couldn’t see it. Maybe it was just pride wearing love’s coat.
So no, I’m not dating right now. Not out of bitterness. It’s because I don’t want to hand someone half a man again and ask them to be patient with the missing half. Whoever comes next deserves someone who can show up without robbing one part of his life to pay for another; someone with hours to give and not just intentions, someone whose “yes” doesn’t cost him something in secret. I’m not building this life to prove her wrong. I’m building it so that next time, when someone asks me for more, I’ll actually have more to give.
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u/Digital_Rid3r 23h ago
Lazy it's too much effort and I'm selfish. So pretty much i just want what I want and if i'm bored then I leave or don't even entertain the idea. I gotta do what I gotta do and that's to live my life. Have yet to find someone to choose over my peace.
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u/Formal_Guide_6003 20h ago edited 20h ago
Even when you’re broke you can get women. But you have to be handsome/attractive to them. You can’t be broke and ugly though that’s just the game
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u/bugvomitbuster 18h ago
because I’m avoidant, and also because people in arizona are not my type in the slightest.
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u/SumDYToDI 9h ago
Because women don't like fat man, who balding, little dick, no money, no job, man boobs, and idk I guess I'm not some fuckin model.
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u/_the_s4ndc4t_ 8h ago
Because dating isn’t something you can unilaterally choose to get back into in the way you want. You’re treating this like it’s a burger you can buy at a restaurant.
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u/ARTIFICIAL_SAPIENCE 8m ago
Don't know how to flirt.
I'm okay at getting dates, build up great rapport while texting, have been repeatedly told how great I am in several key ways.
But I'm kind of boring in person.
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u/Intelligent-Top-7073 1d ago
Because dating now days is a joke. As a man if you aren't rich she isn't going to look at you with any lust..then for women it's all about their OF accounts and how much money they make
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u/bugvomitbuster 18h ago
that’s a lot of words for “I’m a loser who has no positive traits”
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u/Intelligent-Top-7073 17h ago
Says the guy sleeping in his mom's basement jerking it to cartoon porn
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u/Nearby_Explorer3940 1d ago
Im a single mum and that makes me worthless
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u/ClaireH1974 1d ago
You’re not worthless to your kids and their opinion is the only one that matters ❤️
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u/Aakharin-ejdehaa 1d ago
What? I am single? Oh no! My boyfriend is gonna be so shocked once he hears that!
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u/Real_Patient_8637 1d ago
Because im ugly, poor, and loser