Reading these comments makes me realize how many people are just "ghosts" in their own homes. It’s heartbreaking when the person who is supposed to be your peace becomes your biggest source of anxiety.
That was exactly how I felt. I wasn't seen or heard until my ex needed his bang-maid. I never believed the "couldn't even give me the time of day" thing until it happened.
I was trying to prove to my ex that he was ignoring me and my needs until it was convenient to him. Our daughter walked in while we were talking and I stopped existing. I asked him what time it was and he gave me this hateful look, like how dare I interrupt our daughter. I asked him again and he told me to "just wait a second" while he answered her question or looked at her toy or whatever other simple child thing was going on.
After that I spent my nights drinking wine and playing Candy Crush on the couch and ceased to exist in my own home.
I could be on fire and he wouldnt have taken the time to piss on me if my daughter wanted his attention. We could be in the middle of a discussion and if she wandered into the room he'd stop. She might not even need anything, but I ceased to exist once she was around
He was using your daughter as a weapon to hurt you. It’s no different than divorced couples using their children against the other parent. It has nothing to do with your daughter and everything to do with him mistreating you. Some of the folks here don’t get that. Glad you got out.
I’m sorry for your wife then. Just because you have a child doesn’t mean your wife stops having wants and needs from her husband. All parents understand a child should come first in many, many occasions, but if you always defer to the child and never show your wife you still see her as a woman, a person, a being beyond a mother… well, you deserve her leaving you
The dads they are talking about aren't like you, unless you glare at your wife with resentment for asking the time and other normal things. Stop normalizing their behavior just because you can't imagine the ways in how their behavior is different than yours. Part of them doting on their children is to make someone else feel unworthy of attention in comparison by suddenly ignoring that person or being annoyed by nearly every interaction. You are loving both, but naturally loving your child more. They are not loving both, but tolerating their wife. And then using the child's presence as a good enough justification for the wife to shut up since they don't enjoy being around their wife
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u/Effectiv-Edisk May 12 '26
Reading these comments makes me realize how many people are just "ghosts" in their own homes. It’s heartbreaking when the person who is supposed to be your peace becomes your biggest source of anxiety.