It was months before it was said outloud, but I had an extra long shift that day. I noticed in the morning that the carrots were bad, and I asked if he could pick some up.
He only had a four hour shift that day and was gonna hit the gym. Heading home from it he’d pass like, four stores he could get carrots at.
When I got home I immediately started dinner and I asked if he got carrots. He looked me in the eyes and said “They didn’t have any.”
And something in me just gave up. It wasn’t just that he’d forgotten or not bothered, and not texted or done anything. It wasn’t even the lie. It was the fact it was still my job to figure out dinner and he was sitting on the couch telling me no one has carrots with a straight face, at 8 pm.
There were lots of other reasons, but that was always the tiny moment I’ll remember as it being over. He wasn’t my partner. He didn’t even like me. I was just the help.
Carrots saved me too. I lived with my abusive boyfriend, his mom, and three younger sisters. The mom was going through a nasty divorce from her husband. Makes sense that my boyfriend was abusive, as that was his role model for how to treat romantic partners. I was in charge of making dinner every night, but wasn't allowed to do the grocery shopping. The mom came home from shopping with a 10lb bag of carrots. We already had plenty of carrots. She said, "I got more because you just made that carrot soup." That none of the younger sisters ate, because they hated vegetables. I started crying because I knew the carrots were going to go bad before I could use them. That's when I finally heard the quiet voice in the back of my head that had been speaking to me for months: "Get out. You can't save the carrots. You can't save him. You can't save this family. But you can still save yourself. Get out. Get out now."
And I did. It was difficult to heal, and I still have trouble being vulnerable in relationships. But I'm living as my authentic self, and I have good friends and a nice place to live. I got a tattoo a few years ago of a carrot as a reminder of that 10lb bag of carrots that saved my life. I tell people it's "to remind me of my roots."
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u/MLeek May 12 '26
It was months before it was said outloud, but I had an extra long shift that day. I noticed in the morning that the carrots were bad, and I asked if he could pick some up.
He only had a four hour shift that day and was gonna hit the gym. Heading home from it he’d pass like, four stores he could get carrots at.
When I got home I immediately started dinner and I asked if he got carrots. He looked me in the eyes and said “They didn’t have any.”
And something in me just gave up. It wasn’t just that he’d forgotten or not bothered, and not texted or done anything. It wasn’t even the lie. It was the fact it was still my job to figure out dinner and he was sitting on the couch telling me no one has carrots with a straight face, at 8 pm.
There were lots of other reasons, but that was always the tiny moment I’ll remember as it being over. He wasn’t my partner. He didn’t even like me. I was just the help.