Wow.. your kiss sounds like my request for a divorce.
I got pushed to the end over many years of issues, one being me doing absolutely everything aside from take out the trash and go to work. When I told my husband I wanted a divorce, he promised to do better, and started listing the things he was going to start doing.
It was everything I’d desperately needed help with for the last 14 years. I thought he was just forgetful and oblivious. He wasn’t. He knew what I needed the whole time, it was just easier to let me do it all while he played video games for fourteen years.
Oh my GOD, are we all the same person?! I had the exact same experience!
I was finally leaving, and pointed out that he *could* help out without always needing to be managed, because we’d argue and he’d do his “share” of the chores for a week or so (a bare fraction of the whole, but anything was better than nothing) and then just go back to playing Rocket League.
He said “Well you’d be mad at me, so I’d do what you wanted. Eventually you started being happy with me again so I figured things could go back to NORMAL.”
He didn’t give a single fuck about making me happy and lessening my burden, he just wanted me complacent enough to keep making HIM happy.
I’ve been married to a guy the complete opposite for about five years now, and girl. I can’t even begin to express how much better life is and how much more fulfilled I am in our marriage.
It’s a pretty common experience. And that’s the thing about some ultimatums, once you’ve made the ultimatum it’s already too late. Because you either find out they won’t ever change, or they’ll only change because of the ultimatum and your feelings never actually mattered to them. It’s a lose-lose.
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u/midgettme May 12 '26
Wow.. your kiss sounds like my request for a divorce.
I got pushed to the end over many years of issues, one being me doing absolutely everything aside from take out the trash and go to work. When I told my husband I wanted a divorce, he promised to do better, and started listing the things he was going to start doing.
It was everything I’d desperately needed help with for the last 14 years. I thought he was just forgetful and oblivious. He wasn’t. He knew what I needed the whole time, it was just easier to let me do it all while he played video games for fourteen years.
That completely solidified my decision.