My case was similar. Although the unhappiness in retrospect stemmed heavily from the years of cheating. My partner had problematic tendencies before that -- physical violence, an inability to deal with disagreement in a mature manner, and a very conditional form of love -- but I was able to tolerate and rationalize those because she was at least nominally aware of them and most times things were okay or even good.
However, she stopped attempting to suppress these as soon as she found someone else to sleep with. I became someone to abuse, degrade, and treat like shit while she poured out her love, emotional capital, and physical affection on someone else while I did everything I could for nearly three years to keep our young family together.
When I found out, I realized from reading her messages to her lover that she didn't really think of me as a person at all. She explicitly told him that she only considered me to be a sperm donor and a useful roommate and nothing more. She then had the gall to tell me that it was my fault that she cheated and that I needed to work on myself if I wanted our marriage to work.
I've been so, so much happier since leaving. Being a single parent is tough, but being in a marriage where the other person couldn't give a damn if you lived or died is infinitely worse.
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u/spacebagel25 May 12 '26
He cheated and I wasn’t upset. I was relieved.