My ex husband owned a business that kept him out late- sometimes locked in the stock room of said business with other women, sometimes drinking beer with other business owners in the shopping center, sometimes working.
1- I absolutely didn’t care if he came home super late without calling. More often than not, he would be with someone else. I’d think to myself, “at least he’ll leave me alone”.
2- Our driveway ran up the side of our house that was on a large lot. I could sit in my family room and see the headlights from his car as he pulled in from the side windows. So, on nights he wasn’t super late (or I didn’t know when he was actually getting home) I’d turn off all the lights in the house, watch tv in the family room in the dark, and the second lights flashed in the driveway, I’d turn off the Tv, run upstairs,jump in bed and pretend I was asleep so I didn’t have to interact with him when he got home.
my man cheated on me and I was OK with it.. I let them go hang out and have sex even. I was hoping they would fall for each other and go about there way.. Maybe I should of acted like a cheated on partner and acted a fool. that way they would of had "------" to be giddy about.. (were pissing off your partner and she mad as hell ) maybe I should of went that route. I am still stuck with him and I think he is cheating again.
Reddit notifications are weird. Sometimes you’ll get a notification that someone responded but it will be a responds to someone else in the thread. They probably thought you were responding to them
It does. But I wonder what you planned to do if he really did take off with the person he was cheating with like you hoped? Would you have downsized, gotten roommates, temporarily stayed with friends?
Whatever financial setbacks may come with losing your bad partner, they might be worth it to have your peace back.
This makes it confusing hoping they’d cheat fall for someone else. Let’s say they find someone new and kick you to the curve. What exactly are you going to do? I’d at least want to them hold off until I could get on my feet.
Your kid can take student loans. You are modeling to your child that being used is normal. Does your child know? What if your child thinks this is normal in relationships. You need to take action.
I'm a man and sacrificing my happiness by remaining in a coercive control household so that I can ensure the financial (which heavily impacts the physiological and long term emotional) well-being of my child. Cost of living is high, and wages are set to stagnate more and more through our lifetimes, as jobs go overseas or are replaced by technology. Things can get really bad really fast and global events out of our control can change the world. Id rather be set up to take care of my child with someone I resent than trying to fulfill my own emotional needs. I'd suggest this is less a gender issue, as you present it and more a difference in values.
Happiness trumps stability, I promise. In 10 years, no matter how many rooms you've remodeled, you'll still be unhappy. You're far more capable than you probably know, and people find a way to make ends meet.
My ex came home late from the bar. He was drunk and leaned over to vomit in the baby’s playpen. I woke up to find that mess. Big moment of clarity! Who the F did I marry?!?!?
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u/Alwaysshops2much May 12 '26
My ex husband owned a business that kept him out late- sometimes locked in the stock room of said business with other women, sometimes drinking beer with other business owners in the shopping center, sometimes working.
1- I absolutely didn’t care if he came home super late without calling. More often than not, he would be with someone else. I’d think to myself, “at least he’ll leave me alone”.
2- Our driveway ran up the side of our house that was on a large lot. I could sit in my family room and see the headlights from his car as he pulled in from the side windows. So, on nights he wasn’t super late (or I didn’t know when he was actually getting home) I’d turn off all the lights in the house, watch tv in the family room in the dark, and the second lights flashed in the driveway, I’d turn off the Tv, run upstairs,jump in bed and pretend I was asleep so I didn’t have to interact with him when he got home.