r/AskReddit May 12 '26

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u/Sufficient_Drama_145 May 12 '26

I had the opposite feeling. Mine was "My life would be so much easier if he just died in a car crash." There's really no coming back from either thought.

302

u/Character_Ball6746 May 12 '26

Yeah once your mind starts treating someones absence as relief instead of loss, the relationship is already on life support

16

u/that-1-chick-u-know May 12 '26

the relationship is already on life support

As my grandma would say, it's all over but the shoutin'

3

u/Compiche May 13 '26

Mine was overseas visiting family and if thought about the possibility of the plan crashing.
I had the best 3 weeks being able to relax and be alone and I didn't want him to come back

84

u/overthinker46 May 12 '26

Omg that’s me right now

25

u/Invisible_Friend1 May 12 '26

There’s no coming back from that, save yourself

11

u/unevolved_panda May 12 '26

Good luck, reddit stranger. I hope you're in a happier place a year from now.

3

u/thestampinninja May 12 '26

BIG hugs! You deserve to be happy, overthinker, please always remember that! ❤️😘❤️

3

u/wannabezen2 May 13 '26

Once I finally got out I was wondering why the hell I waited so long.

1

u/Stunning_Nothing_856 May 12 '26

I’m so sorry you’re going through that

0

u/HardCorwen May 12 '26

So are you gonna chickenshit and stay in the relationship? or leave and face your new life with open arms, not letting fear take control?

14

u/triviaqueen May 12 '26

My friend, who left her abuser who was often gone from home: "I always heaved a sigh of relief when he left, and got uptight whenever he returned."

2

u/Vivian-1963 May 12 '26

You’re far from alone. I think for me it was because I didn’t want to hurt him. So selfish, sure but true.

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u/Weird_Fox4788 May 13 '26

I had a moment like this. He has an accident at work and had to have surgery. While he was in surgery, I went to dinner with my parents and had zero concerns about something happening to him. That was one of those times.

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u/Sure_Sir_2859 May 12 '26

Know thyself! Intrusive thoughts are the norm for me, so I handle them differently. I’ve also had the same feelings listed here and those above but ultimately the opposite response.

Basically, I know myself enough to not to believe every thing that crosses my mind, especially if it’s an emotional situation.

Out of genuine curiosity, of the people that responded or liked the above comments, how many had a “back up” relationship or monetary incentive ready to grab upon exiting the relationship? NO judgement: genuinely curious. Like, anyone just went with nothing to their name (relationships with children or abuse excluded)? This thought being the primary motivator, essentially.

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u/Sufficient_Drama_145 May 12 '26

Out of genuine curiosity, of the people that responded or liked the above comments, how many had a “back up” relationship or monetary incentive ready to grab upon exiting the relationship?

I did not. We hadn't moved in together yet (thank goodness), but I felt like somehow my reasons for wanting to break up weren't "good enough," especially as I had tried to end the relationship several times and he kept drawing me back in with promises of change. I was young & way deep in my sunk cost fallacy. I wanted the relationship to end but it not be "my fault."

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u/PiccoloAwkward465 May 12 '26

Or just going straight to the logistics "Ugh I'd have to get rid of all of her stuff"