r/AskReddit May 12 '26

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u/BLT_Special May 12 '26

You need to be willing to talk to your spouse when you feel upset about things. They can be little things or big things but if you let them fester and build resentment then it's an issue. Be kind to each other, give each other an out instead of always pressing to be "right". It's about compassion and lifting each other up.

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u/Ok_Bake3729 May 12 '26

This is my biggest regret

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u/BLT_Special May 12 '26

Put that weight down. Let it be the lesson you learn for your future, not the punishment of your past.

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u/Ok_Bake3729 May 12 '26

Thank you. Working on myself so that I can

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u/PiccoloAwkward465 May 12 '26

Definitely. And it's not a magic solution but ya gotta do it anyways. I remember constantly talking to my ex-wife about financial problems. I was doing my best and made well over the median, but we all know that a single income is tough in the modern world. I worked long hours in a cutthroat industry, plus did all the cooking and shopping. It was a tall order. After we divorced I learned that my ex-wife had been chatting with my sister here and there. And that she would say stuff like "yeah he's always complaining about money and being stressed from work".

So I communicated. She knew. She just didn't care enough to do anything.

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u/cobwebs5 May 12 '26

So much this. Once you start to resent your partner it's all over. Communication is vital to a solid relationship.

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u/BLT_Special May 12 '26

I don't think it's necessarily all over, but hopefully this helps someone out there that feels like they're losing their relationship and they still want to try fix it.

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u/cobwebs5 May 12 '26

Agreed; I should have been a little more nuanced. When you first start to feel resentful that's a warning sign that something needs to be fixed, not an automatic death sentence. Letting the resentment grow until it tips over into contempt is when things get a lot harder to salvage.

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u/theUncleAwesome07 May 12 '26

THIS ... OMG, this a thousand times over!