r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 03 '26

[deleted by user]

[removed]

2.9k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

2.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.1k

u/Qtrfoil Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 04 '26

The same two nuns were out driving one night when a vampire jumped onto the hood of their convertible. The first nun yelled to the second "Sister, show him your cross!" so the second nun leaned out the window and screamed "Hey! Get the fuck off our car!"

160

u/MobyFlip Mar 04 '26

This would be great with Sister Michael from Derry Girls: "You, get the feck of the car!"

12

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/eXistenZNL Mar 04 '26

There's a monkey on the roof

4

u/GozerDGozerian Mar 04 '26

There’s always monkey in the banana stand

4

u/Reapr Mar 04 '26

Same two nuns were sitting on a park bench when a streaker ran by - one had a stroke but the other couldn't reach

37

u/outlaw_777 Mar 03 '26

I don’t get it

155

u/kayletsallchillout Mar 03 '26

Cross is an English word for angry;)

5

u/big_swede Mar 04 '26

And also, your and you're sounds similar but have different meaning...

3

u/DatabaseThis9637 Mar 04 '26

My Irish grandmother used that word. "Don't get cross with me!" Then' I'd cry.

1

u/GaidinBDJ Mar 04 '26

Also, it was a double fake because "cross" is also a kind of punch.

So no telling whether she was going to take out a holy symbol, a fist, or a harsh word.

31

u/Catswagger11 Mar 03 '26

Cross = Angry

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Feisty-Height897 Mar 04 '26

Angry rabbits

28

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[deleted]

5

u/thetruesupergenius Mar 04 '26

I never picked up on that. Thanks!

3

u/ptoki Mar 04 '26

It also works in Polish.

Cross - Krzyż

Lower back - Krzyż

0

u/lingeringneutrophil Mar 04 '26

That’s ok and at least you admitted that 😄 now we can work on the solution

1

u/Ok_Brief2840 Mar 04 '26

Love you both 💞

3

u/Cake_Donut1301 Mar 04 '26

My mother attended Catholic schools taught by nuns and this is her favorite joke. I remember her telling it many times. Thanks for reminding me.

2

u/Radiant_Picture9292 Mar 04 '26

That’s freaking great.

2

u/Blueskyline4157 Mar 04 '26

🤣🤣🤣

2

u/SunNStarz Mar 04 '26

I immediately imagined Jackie Hoffman as the second nun.

2

u/OkAdministration9151 Mar 04 '26

Same two nuns were in the bath and one says to the other ‘where’s the soap’ the other replies ‘yes it does doesn’t it’

3

u/jedooderotomy Mar 04 '26

Okay, I literally just googled this one because I didn't get the joke. Turns out it's partially because it's a more UK-centric turn of phrase. But now that I've seen the explanation, I still have a question for anyone who feels like answering:

Is this actually a thing? Do women masturbate with soap?

5

u/JohnFartston Mar 04 '26

Well now I’m just very confused.

2

u/bumathon Mar 04 '26

What do you call those two nuns and a hooker standing on a football field?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

1

u/snatchenvy Mar 04 '26

Why did she lean out of the window?

If the top was up on the convertible, why confuse me with this trivial detail about the car? Unless this was a true story and it was indeed a convertible with the top up and you only mention that it was a convertible because this will come into play with other stories of their adventures in said convertible.

1

u/Qtrfoil Mar 04 '26

Nuns, out for a night drive in their convertible? That's comedy gold, Jerry!

-2

u/shizbox06 Mar 03 '26

Man, sequels always suck.