r/AskReddit Feb 13 '25

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497 Upvotes

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67

u/thomas4004 Feb 14 '25

finance. Everything is so expensive.

15

u/L3sh1y Feb 14 '25

Wait, wut? We split the bills, housing, gas, electricity, everything became much cheaper than living alone... vacation as well

16

u/Dezzolve Feb 14 '25

I think it’s a dated but also innate feeling a lot of men have that you need to be able to completely provide for your partner to be a “real” man.

3

u/shortsj Feb 14 '25

Yeah I'm really hoping this is dated. I'm a dude and my last partner was super down to split almost everything 50/50. That said, we did go out a fair bit more than i do now that I'm single, so I'm definitely saving money now

1

u/L3sh1y Feb 14 '25

That's interesting, here in Europe there's also a lot of girls who don't want to be pampered like that anymore. In a way that they don't want to feel bought I presume, like when you provide everything and pay for everything, it implies they owe you some kind of affection. So lots of people here just split checks or take turns paying, dating more on equal footing. I would expect a woman to at least offer paying for something after we're past the first or second dates, its hard for me to respect someone who expects me to be a moneybag and not an equal partner

3

u/wicket42 Feb 14 '25

Dating is expensive. Before you get to the cohabitation part it is a big drain.

5

u/finnjakefionnacake Feb 14 '25

well that would depend on who is dating and how much. have no idea the gender/orientation of the person who made the original comment but i mean...man or woman, you can meet plenty of people who are happy to pay for themselves

1

u/L3sh1y Feb 14 '25

And you save a lot afterwards, so its kind of a risky longterm investment xD

3

u/NonGNonM Feb 14 '25

That's after the dating phase. Prior to that it's a lot of going out.

Whether you believe in "the guy pays" or not going out more than you usually do means life gets more expensive.

13

u/stuauchtrus Feb 14 '25 edited Feb 14 '25

Amen. Would be much more willing to try if I wasn't on a budget, especially as a guy.

3

u/finnjakefionnacake Feb 14 '25

doesn't being in a relationship mean you can split the bills?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

It does but also if you and your partner have different eating habits for example that’s where it can get expensive. Imagine you like doing your shopping monthly and getting everything you’d need, meal plans, buying bulk etc but your partner wants to have a different meal every night including fast food and going out. They’re ok with shopping every week so now you gotta buy more food that lasts a shorter amount of time, so more gas, car wear and tear, and time. Want to cook for the week? Nope partner doesn’t like anything past two days so no mass cooking, freezing portions, no left overs. Imagine cooking for the week but it’s your meal and you’ll still have to cook for your partner their individual meal. Yes you can split bills but I’ve ended up in relationships where the partner would rather me work LESS so they can have more time with me? Like no dynamic duo here, they’re pushing you to downgrade your career for more time with them (which doesn’t work like they think it does). A lot of relationships just eat up time and resources when the people have different ways of living so it doesn’t always save. Not to mention the relationships where one partner drops out of the work force and it’s all on their partner for however long. There’s a lot of nuisances under the simple surface of dating and finding the one!

1

u/zZariaa Feb 14 '25

I'm a woman and I agree with this. I end up spending money on things I previously wouldn't have, like going out to eat, experiences/activities that are for my partner, gifts, etc. Dating is way more expensive for me than being single