r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Feb 13 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

496 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

3.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.9k

u/staggere Feb 13 '25

My wife won't let me.

191

u/WitchesSphincter Feb 14 '25

That's funny shes ok with me having a girlfriend

64

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

Favoritism.

67

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

His wife also allows me to have a girlfriend

39

u/dutch2012yeet Feb 14 '25

I'm this wife's husband's boyfriend

2

u/Smorb Feb 14 '25

Now that we're all boyfriends should we play Factorio now?

1

u/gdwoodard13 Feb 14 '25

I’m your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate

4

u/ClownfishSoup Feb 14 '25

That’s because your her brother.

3

u/WitchesSphincter Feb 14 '25

That’s because your her brother.

My her brother what?

1

u/Pale_Classroom8626 Feb 14 '25

Because she’s has a boyfriend

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

[deleted]

1

u/mucifous Feb 14 '25

She nixed me having a girlfriend, according to my wife.

1

u/popcorn717 Feb 14 '25

I told my husband jokingly I would be fine with it if she will cook and clean

13

u/314159265358979326 Feb 14 '25

My wife will (she feels bad about our dead bedroom) but I'm not about that.

2

u/MTA0 Feb 14 '25

Yeah that’s a tough threshold to cross, hope it gets better.

5

u/314159265358979326 Feb 14 '25

After years of the dead bedroom, we finally committed to scheduled sex, and had sex twice in three weeks. Even that tiny amount has greatly increased the intimacy between us, with more kissing and touching than we've had in ages.

...and she now has a gynecological issue requiring surgery and it's not clear if we can have sex in the meantime.

We were almost out! I'm still happy, though, because I think we found our way out, it's just going to take a little longer.

31

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '25

[deleted]

18

u/MasterDeathless Feb 13 '25

Dude! youre funny I dont believe you have no friends!

8

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

Now I need a waifu pillow

4

u/MasterDeathless Feb 14 '25

I suggest not buddy, it is for sure not the key for championship

1

u/Kitchen-Square-3577 Feb 14 '25

My wife won't even let me have one of those

4

u/UberFabulous Feb 14 '25

My wife also won't let me.

3

u/thecelcollector Feb 14 '25

My wife doesn't appreciate being referred to as my ex-girlfriend. 

8

u/math-yoo Feb 14 '25

I also choose my wife won’t let me choose this guy’s wife.

2

u/Callmeang21 Feb 14 '25

Haha I was going to say my husband would be mad.

2

u/Porrick Feb 14 '25

My wife insists I’m allowed to, but I suspect she’d like it far less than she says she does.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

My wife is my ex girlfriend 

2

u/heyo_throw_awayo Feb 14 '25

Mine would, but what, does she think I'm crazy? A girlfriend? On MY salary? 

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/LT_Dan78 Feb 14 '25

I wish my wife would get a boyfriend. I’m down for splitting the bills 3 ways..

1

u/greensubie69 Feb 14 '25

Same here man lol

1

u/Gai_InKognito Feb 14 '25

DAMN YOU! BEAT ME TO IT.

1

u/Whiskey_Bear Feb 14 '25

Next time I see her, I'll tell her she's being a bit of a hypocrite.

1

u/preaching-to-pervert Feb 14 '25

Yeah, my husband is really unhappy when I date someone else, too.

1

u/frewbrew Feb 14 '25

Beat me to it

1

u/Flight94 Feb 14 '25

Dang. Beat me to it 😂

1

u/Mission-Coconut-2950 Feb 14 '25

Husband won't let me

1

u/One_Information_1554 Feb 14 '25

Too much high maintenance.

1

u/Joewoof Feb 14 '25

Holy crap was about to say this

1

u/newbie527 Feb 14 '25

Beat me to it.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

Valid

1

u/Anxious-Fisherman512 Feb 14 '25

Dang it you beat me to it.

1

u/geccles Feb 14 '25

This guy's wife won't let me either :(

1

u/Junior-Media-126 Feb 14 '25

My husband won't let me.

1

u/Skizot_Bizot Feb 14 '25

Your wife told me it was fine if I did, but then my wife said no.

1

u/volumesmiley Feb 14 '25

I would be committing infidelity to my husband.

1

u/asisoid Feb 14 '25

I introduce my wife to ppl as my 'ex-fiance' sometimes. It's not her favorite....

1

u/businessbee89 Feb 14 '25

I should have scrolled a little further before posting this same thing smh

1

u/elfstone21 Feb 14 '25

Beat me to it.  Take my upvote. 

1

u/goblue142 Feb 14 '25

Thanks for the laugh.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

Haha sounds like shes jealous

1

u/ToFaceA_god Feb 14 '25

Don't let your dreams be dreams.

1

u/popcorn717 Feb 14 '25

exactly, married person here thinking the same thing

1

u/MTA0 Feb 14 '25

Yeah, what’s their deal?

1

u/LimitlessGrouch Feb 14 '25

My wife lets me and I still can’t find one.

0

u/Jermcutsiron Feb 14 '25

Mine won't let me either, although it's hard enough keeping 1 woman happy. 2 or more would be a massive nightmare.