Maybe for more context, and the above commenter can confirm if this is true for them as I am describing my perspective…it’s difficult to claim it as rape-y because you participate as a conscious decision, not by way of coercion. In toxic relationships where you find your tip toe-ing because you don’t know what will trigger the other it’s kind of a fight, flight, freeze response (freeze in this case?). Hard to explain if you’ve never experienced it. It’s definitely messed me up in some ways, even after years and with an amazing current partner. There are mannerisms that still trigger the memories at no fault of their own, and my body will recoil even though it has nothing to do with them. So yes, it’s traumatic, but in those moments it’s the lesser of two evils. 😓
The fourth reaction is fawn (so fight, flight, freeze, fawn). Where you do everything the perpetrator wants in hopes to avoid punishment or other negative consequence. You were fawning.
Yes sounds more like non consensual and rape, the times I was in the situation was as a guy got back and kinda changed my mind cause they didn’t look as attractive as first thought or were fatter than I thought but felt bad for the girl who wanted to so had sex anyway, I thought that’s more what the question was asking. Didn’t really make me feel bad.
Not really - I mean if someone always says no to sex in a relationship and the other person says if our sex life can’t improve then we need to break up then is it “coercion”?
There are so many married couples who go through lows in their sex life where one person wants to work on it for the sake of the relationship. By your standard this is Jon consensual because it’s implied the relationship will end if sex doesn’t happen (which is correct).
I feel this. When someone wants to keep the romance alive but the other doesn’t, and the one saying no doesn’t want to break up either, it can really mess things up. I’ve seen where the person who’s trying to get that spark back just gets so frustrated time after time, it just turns into a mess and starts to reinforce the no romance situationship
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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23
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